I DANCED ON HIS FEET

Growing up, I was an awkward girl.

Stocky and shy in an era of willow thin Twiggy and man-eating aggressiveness.

I should have been born on the praire- bumping along the back of a covered wagon with a bonnet to hide my too-much hair and gingham dresses to cover my too- thick calves.

My mom let it slip in one of those adult conversations that the kids aren’t supposed to hear, that I was built like my Grandma Waterman.

No woman in the world wants to be shaped like my Grandma Waterman.

She was… thick. And strong. And old.

I wanted to look like my Grandma Stewart, who had tiny ankles and skinny legs and wore a Dolly Parton sized brassiere (that’s what nice girls called a bra in those days).

I’ve got to give my mom credit- she tried her best with me.

Wrestling my mass of stick straight hair into a double ponytail at the top of my head each school day morning, making bows and home-sewn dresses to make me look cuter than I was.

She tried valiantly to steer me from styles that I loved but looked ridiculous in. Things like go-go boots and white fur coats.

She tried, she really did.

And she knew that ugly ducklings eventually grow into, if not graceful swans, at least decent ducks.

But my Dad looked at me from behind his thick-rimmed glasses and saw something no one else did.

He saw beauty.

I remember getting ready on a Sunday morning and coming out to the living room to wait for my family to go to church. My dad was there, loading his favorite 33’s into his treasured multi-player record player.

Burt Bacharach, Glenn Campbell, Johnny Cash, Glenn Miller.

He took one look at his decidedly less than lovely little girl and held out his hand. Without a word, my dad swung me into his arms and taught me to dance.

Or at least he tried to teach me to dance. But my feet kept getting in the way of his and I couldn’t seem to stop falling and giggling and getting it wrong.

So awkward.

So not what I wanted to be.

That’s when my dad did what every dad of every awkward little girl ought to do—

He let me dance on his feet.

Not because my feet wouldn’t go where they were supposed to, but on purpose.

Dad just lifted me onto his feet and proceeded to dance me around the room. And I felt like a princess— like Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn and Sophia Lauren all wrapped up in a little girl moment.

My Dad made me beautiful when I didn’t know how and couldn’t be and wasn’t.

And he kept it up for years and years of far-from-beautiful awkwardness.

When he paid for ballet lessons to see if maybe someone could teach me to walk a little less like a boot clomping farm boy. And when he graciously let me quit because the lovely ballerina teacher shook her head in sad dismay.

And when he bought me just-right riding breeches and elegant long boots and paid for me to try to sit the back of a horse without falling in the mud.

And then kept paying and kept watching me ride and kept taking me to buy books about horses and listening to me chatter endlessly about bits and bridles and Morgans and Arabians.

He made me feel beautiful when the mirror told a different story.

I remember once overhearing him tell my mom that I looked like his sister. My heart about stopped.

Oh my gosh!

My Aunt Carol was gorgeous! As in stunningly-glamorous-Hollywood-worthy-gorgeous.

She had that very much in style in the late 60’s red bouffant hair… mine was brown and straight and growing in places it shouldn’t.

Her eyes were crystal blue- almost transparent and so big they dominated her sculptured face. Mine were brown and boring and topped by bushy eyebrows.

And she dressed like a beauty queen. Flamboyant and elegant and always perfect.

I wanted to look just like her. I wanted to be beautiful and elegant and sophisticated.

My dad thought I did and that I was and that someday I would be.

And I believed him.

Now sometimes I’ll see a girl like I was— just a little too hairy and awkward and shy and embarrassed.

And I’ll remember how I felt inside when my dad told a different story. And how I believed him because, after all, dads know more than daughters at that age.

I wish every one of those little girls had a dad like mine. A dad who would redefine beauty to match the mirror.

A dad who called brown eyes hazel and stubby noses adorable. Who thought my legs looked longer in riding boots and made sure I had the confidence to think so too.

Because…

every girl ever born wants to be a Beauty

and every dad of every daughter has the power to make her believe she is.

From my heart,

Diane

THINGS MY DAD DID RIGHT:

1. He told me, all my life, that I was beautiful.
2. He paid attention to me.
3. He bought me riding boots.
4. He saw something no one else could have possibly seen.
5. He told my mom what he saw.
6. When I couldn’t be who I wanted to be, he let me dance on his feet.

GENERATIONS…what every woman ought to know about

BEAUTY.

Just a few days ago the daughter of my daughter was born… Scarlet Ruth Mosser…

She is beautiful and wanted and prayed for. Brook is sure she looks like him… Phil thinks that’s hogwash… she looks like his mom, Ruth… I think she looks just like Elizabeth as a baby…

Two weeks ago my first granddaughter arrived from Africa.

I think she looks just like me!

I’ve hoped for her and prayed for her and longed for this little girl for so many months that when she finally arrived and John Mark called to say Come on over, I was all in a dither.  Torn between wanting to jump in the car and defy all speed limits to get there as fast as I could… and wanting, needing, to take the time to fuss and polish and paint and curl and spray myself into just the right first impression for this little woman who will be in my life for a long, long time.

I wanted to be beautiful.

Of course.

And even though I know that great sages from who-knows-when say that…

Beauty is more than skin deep.

And…

Beauty is as beauty does.

And…

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I still wanted to be beautiful.

And so does every other woman I know.

That’s why the women of Solid Rock are going to gather together on Saturday, April 21rst to talk about Beauty.

Because beauty matters.

Because every one of us wants to be beautiful.

And because God’s Word has a lot… and I do mean a lot, to say about Beauty.

And I think its time we talked about it.

And… time you all met my beautiful grand-girls. Sunday and Scarlet are going to be there with their mamas… and with me. Hope you can come too!

From my heart,

Diane

Oh, the details…

When?

Saturday, April 21

What time?

Westside 9 am - 11 am

Downtown 7 pm - 9 pm 

Where?

Solid Rock Westside 10500 SW Nimbus Ave, Tigard, OR (no sign ups necessary)

Solid Rock Downtown 1233 SW 10th Ave, Portland OR (space is limited, please sign up via the church office)

Cost?

$5      

We cannot offer childcare but nursing babies are always welcome.

Today we have a guest post from a young woman whose transparent search for meaning and value led her to discover her own unique beauty. And since in just a few days the women of Solid Rock will be gathering together to study what the Scriptures have to say about beauty, I thought her story might just resonate with you as it has with me.

At the end of her story, Lauren throws out a few questions that beg answers. Will you take a moment to talk to us, to tell us where you are on your own search for beauty? And then will you come along with us this Saturday morning on the Westside and Saturday evening Downtown to talk some more? I can hardly wait to share with you what I've been learning and how God has surprised me with His wisdom and His reasons for creating His beauty in each of us.

From my heart,

Diane

I couldn’t have been more than six. I stood in the bathroom mirror, close enough for my nose to fog up the glass, questioning God. I stared so deep into my own eyes it almost made me dizzy. I searched my hair, my eyebrows and lips for signs that would tell me the future.  What would I look like in a few years and who would I be?

I saw the girlish face staring back at me, the downy hair and soft skin, unblemished by time. What I really wanted to know is what I would be admired for, good at or even proud of? What would define me at 16?  I couldn’t wrap my mind around the immensity of that age. Though I knew the numbers carried significance, they seemed light years away.

After realizing that I could not will myself an answer from staring intently into the mirror, I walked away. But I did not abandon the questions that lingered there.….

As I arrived at the intersection of adolescence and adulthood sometime around early middle school, I looked to my peers to define my self-worth. But as it turns out, middle school kids have ruthless whims of both acceptance and rejection.

And if you were anything like me during this life stage, being “thin” wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Having a slight figure for most of my life, I’ve still often accused my body for being “wrong.” Somehow in this culture, it is acceptable to be ridiculed and picked apart for being too skinny, and I weathered enough off-colored comments in my middle school years to know it! Chicken legs; bobble head; money arms.

Turns out my gangly limbs weren’t near enough coordinated to cut a good softball swing or to make a basket, which only resulted in further embarrassment in front of my peers. I just couldn’t do it right. I was an artistic kid, writing journals and illustrated books since kindergarten.

As my peers steadily excelled in athleticism, I felt goofy and left behind. My 7^th grade year is about the time I wanted to hide under the bleachers in avoidance of gym class, consumed with nervous energy even at the thought of others noticing how awkward I was in my mesh gym shorts and oversized tee shirt.

Not to mention that middle school is the place where once nice girls suddenly turn mean. It was a well established understanding in my heart by then that I didn’t have “it” whatever “it” was and one girl in particular let me know it. I recall being in art class, my favorite hour of the day, only to hear her persistent mocking over my shoulder at every detail I added to the page. She hated me, and I wasn’t even sure why.

The other girls chimed in on their way back to class, giggling and glancing back at me as I walked alone.  Nothing can diffuse the budding self-confidence of a girl more than this kind of treatment. I wanted to win their approval so desperately, but at the same time protect myself from being utterly demolished by their expectations. Nothing I did was right. Why couldn’t I do it right?

That question plagued me, and I’m sure countless other girls, even the ones that made fun of me. Maybe for someone else it wasn’t sports, it was not having a date to the dance, or being responsible for the odd, dysfunctional family that embarrassed them at parent teacher conferences. Either way, it’s unfortunate that sometimes these kinds of bad experiences can shape our hearts to long for the affection of others before seeking our Heavenly Father, who loves us unconditionally.

High school years were looking up for me as I transferred schools to the neighboring town to gain more from their larger academic offerings and best of all, to enter their competitive dance program. Jazz, Ballet and Hip Hop classes was the air I breathed five days a week, and I found a self-confidence bursting forth on stage that never materialized with a ball and mitt.

I was so relieved to finally be good at something, to escape the tyrannical scrutiny of that girl clique that had poked lies into my heart for so long. I was rid of their voices, and danced my skinny body to its delight! It turns out my long limbs were shaped for the graceful turns and pliés of a dancer, not the rough upending of dirt and grit of sliding into home base.

Sometimes, we are critical of the bodies God has given us before we understand how he wants us to use them. I always think of that time in my life when I truly believed that God made me more insufficient than my peers simply because I couldn’t catch a softball. And all of these thoughts were sadly contingent on what other’s thought of me, or what the bible terms: “the fear of man.”

It has taken me forever to get over these doubts that began in middle school. It would be a lie to say that I have hit rock bottom on my list of insecurities. They keep coming out in ways I don’t expect them to! But you know, one thing is for certain. That when Jesus saw me in that secret, wonderful, mysterious hiding place before the day of my birth, he smiled and knew exactly what he was doing!  As the Psalmist proclaims:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

He is one that guards our hearts, jealously desiring that we seek his approval before anyone else has the chance to get in and make a mess of our hearts. Sufficient to say, it has taken a long time to grasp my beauty and individuality as something God designed and adored since the day of my birth.

I only wish I could’ve seen into the future that day in the mirror, to assure myself that despite a few disgruntled peers and my failure in athletics, that someday God would have me return to a middle school building, but this time as a teacher for an after school dance program where I would boost kids confidence with a little music and let them shake out their silly side. I wish I could’ve seen me grinning from ear-to-ear, leaving the stage after my first choreographed solo performance as a senior in high school.

I believe He wants all of us to ask Him this simple question: what would you make of this life Lord? What do you long to purpose with these limbs, however unfit, or these teeth however crooked? What message of hope would you like to come out of my mouth? What God –honoring work do you have for my hands to find?  I would love to hear your own stories of coming to find your passion, wherever your awkward stage might have fallen in the timeline of your life. As for me, I praise the Lord that middle school is over, and I have a feeling that I’m not alone!

Lauren

I am taking a break from the blog this week because our Scarlet Ruth Mosser made her way into the world this past Tuesday! She is a dainty little girl already and bringing us so much peace and joy! 

Today's post is from my friend Becca Hardesty and I'm sure we will ALL learn from her practical advice on meal planning, grocery shopping and staying in a budget.

ENJOY!

Elizabeth

(Chris, Becca, Bennet and baby #2)

Meal planning and grocery shopping can be daunting tasks, especially if you have kids to mind and a budget to stick to.

I am by no means an expert at these things, but I feel like I have a pretty good method (shopping can get quite interesting when you are 8.5 months pregnant and have a spirited toddler!) to getting it all done. I'm so glad that I get the opportunity to share the method to my meal-planning madness and how I keep sane on long grocery shopping days all the while staying in budget.

Some of this may be common sense, but sometimes common sense is what I need to hear the most!

My husband Chris gets paid every other Friday, which are my grocery shopping days. This means that I only need to do big grocery trips two times a month.

I usually head to the store to grab some fresh produce and milk on Sunday for the second week, but at the end of the two weeks our refrigerator is looking pretty darn empty. Luckily, having a menu planned out means that I'm not scrounging around for things to make at the end of the two weeks (always a plus)!

IT'S ALL IN THE PLANNING: It's important to have a binder of recipes you've torn out of magazines, a folder of saved recipes on your computer, a Pinterest board dedicated to meals you'd love to make/your all-time favorites OR all of the above!

While meal planning, I refer to each of these things often but Pinterest is definitely a favorite for gathering and sharing new meal inspiration and also keeping it all organized.

THE WEEK LEADING UP TO GROCERY SHOPPING:

- Take stock of what needs to be used up in your refrigerator and pantry. Plan meals using these things...wasting is never good.

Example: I know I need to use up some sweet potatoes, sour cream and cilantro so maybe I will make sweet potato tacos next week.

-Think about what you'd like to make. Have you been craving warm soup in this rainy weather?

-Keep your menu interesting by choosing a few favorites, a few oldies and a few new recipes...once again, Pinterest has been a lifesaver in the meal-planning department!

-To mind our budget (and our health) I only plan 1-2 meals containing meat per week. This allows us to get more veggies into our diet and actually all of our favorite meals are meatless ones now!

ASSESS YOUR PLANS FOR THE NEXT WEEK OR TWO (depending on when payday occurs):

- Will you be out of town or having dinner guests over? Do you need to make something quick on house church night?

-Plan accordingly (don't forget to take advantage of that crock pot...it can make your evenings/life so much easier)!

-Choose meals, but not necessarily for specific days (this allows you to be flexible) unless you have something special planned, like a big batch of fish tacos for when your friends come over Friday night.

THE LIST: When I'm doing my meal planning, I first like to find a meal and write it down on the back of my grocery list (or put into my "meals" note on my phone). It's handy to have the list of meals I'll be making while I'm out shopping. After I write down the meal, I take a look at the ingredients and add the ones that I'll need to buy to my grocery list. I then move onto the next meal until I'm all the way through my planned menu.

Speaking of my grocery list, I used to be so attached to my paper lists and would cross out each item as it went into my cart. Recently I decided to try out the Grocery IQ app for my phone. It took a while to get used to, but now I Iove it and don't miss my paper lists at all. The best part is that it's free!

When I'm writing out my list, I have a different list for each store I need to go to. I squeeze three different stores into one morning before naptime so it's important to be organized. (Does anyone go to just one store?!)

SHOPPING DAY: Before you head out, plan your route according to what stores you will be going to and what you need to buy there. Do you need to get a lot of frozen items at Costco? Go there last (or if you are the over-achieving type, keep a cooler in your trunk).

Drive a little farther to get to where you need to go if the stores happen to be closer together somewhere farther from your house. I usually head to Costco first, then park in between Fred Meyer and Trader Joe's since they are pretty close to one another. I do my grocery shopping at Fred Meyer and load it into my car when I'm done and then I walk over to Trader Joe's. This not only saves time and gas but also keeps my toddler happy since he doesn't have to get in and out of the car seat another time.

Speaking of keeping kids (and mama) happy on grocery day, make sure to pack plenty of snacks, water and a sandwich for lunch so you can put them down for nap right when you get home...this will make unloading groceries much more efficient.

Don't forget to have a few distractions up your sleeve (or in your purse) like stickers; and don't be afraid to drop your child off at the play area of the store. I finally tried it out and wish I had done it sooner! My son loves the hour he gets to play as opposed to being stuck sitting in the shopping cart. I'm also able to focus more so we get home earlier and don't miss that precious naptime window!

STAYING ON BUDGET:

-A simple solution to getting the most for your budget would be to choose meals that overlap in ingredients. You could even pick a theme for the week, like "Mexican" which would ensure you'd use up all of those corn tortillas and sour cream.

- I  would love to buy all organic groceries if I could, but that's not really realistic on our budget. I always buy organic dairy products, or at the very least I stick to a brand that I trust. I also stick to the same rule when it comes to meat, which doesn't add up too much when you are only making a couple of meals containing meat each week. As far as produce, I try to buy organic if they are in the "dirty dozen". Pretty much this means that if you eat the peel or skin, then you should choose organic since most of the pesticides sit in the skin or peel.

-It's unfortunate that good and healthy food has a high price tag, but keeping our families healthy is probably a top priority for every parent. If you can't afford to buy organic meat all of the time, cut back on meat in general and spend that money on organic produce instead.

Above all, be prepared and focus on the task at hand. It's easy to get overwhelmed (especially if you have kids) but remember that grocery shopping only lasts a short time and it's such a privilege to be able to go out and fill our cupboards with new items every few weeks!

Becca

Not long ago, my friend Michele Fordice left a comment after a blog post about prayer.

Michele is right in the thick of raising and teaching and training two young leaders while she consistently pours herself into supporting and encouraging and helping with her husband’s ministry and vision.

And all the other stuff that happens in real life.

So when Michele makes her list it’s a long one. Full days, never enough done, and without the immediate satisfaction of lots of crossed off tasks.

You know about that?

And Michele has figured something out along the way— something we all need to stop and ponder. I’ve asked her to tell her story so we can grasp this truth along with her.

And maybe, for once, we won’t have to get learn the hard way…

From my heart,

Diane

MOMMY TO DO LIST: by michele fordice

This year I am attempting to read the Bible through chronologically.  Having had to take LONG detour through Job, I am still on Gen. 15.  Technically, I am still in week 1 of the year.  Ha!  So…I will finish just maybe in about three years!

Genesis 12 v 1-2 starts out with Abraham’s glorious calling and a promise from God.  I can’t help but romanticize it a bit.

God clearly spoke to Abraham.  Haven’t you at times just longed for an encounter with the living God to speak so clear and boldly?

God said, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.”

In response, “I (the Lord) will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.  I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all the peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”

God’s call on Abraham’s life was clear and so was God’s blessing.

Are you waiting to hear your “calling”?  Doesn’t this picture seem a bit romantic to you?

So easy?

So clear?

I remember back in the day… I know, I sound a bit old.  Jay and I were dating long distance; I was finishing school in southern California but when he’d visit we’d frequent Disneyland.  My favorite part was visiting Tarzan’s tree house.  Hand in hand, we’d stroll through Tarzan’s tree house.  I’d dream about our life on the mission field together, sharing the Good News of Jesus, having babies and living a long happy life in the Amazon Jungle.

I know, dreamy.  Right?  Maybe it was my innocent youth coming out, or the dreaminess of Disneyland and the princess stories of love and living happily ever after.

Or maybe he designed me with an innate purpose and calling.

I can tell you that I did marry my love.  We do have two adorable boys. And we are on mission.

Our surroundings aren’t so junglesk though. When I look around, I am thankful for two healthy births, a home that is filled with laughter and electricity, and a life that is filled with adventure.

The adventure begins every morning.  Every morning that I decided to die to self or live for my self.

I can tell you that I have chosen both.

I have chosen the way of Jesus.

AND, I have chosen my own way.

When I am irritated by the fact that I can’t eat a simple meal without getting up four times to refill water, get someone a napkin, a fork, a second helping….

When I am frustrated in the morning because I can’t take 15 minutes of uninterrupted time to be in the Word…

When I want to fly off the handle because my eldest son won’t stop asking me the same question over…and over… oh, and one more time because he didn’t like my original answer…

When I leave an event expecting to be filled, blessed instead of BEING a blessing for others…

When I can’t seem to muster up the ability to find it in my heart to forgive a family member that has wronged me… (for the ONE time I am actually not guilty)

When I am so frustrated at the Lord for yet another rainy day…

When I can’t seem to give up on a shattered dream…expecting that I was somehow owed something more from my childhood…

These are the times when I can look back and say, “Yep. Clearly I haven’t chosen to die to myself today.”

Abraham, a man of faith.  A man who clearly heard from the Lord.  Had a calling, a purpose and a blessing.  He too, got distracted.  He took his family to Egypt because of famine in the land…the Land of Promise.  Walked away from God’s plan.  Lied to Pharaoh about his who his gorgeous bride was….

And he too, the Lord showed mercy too.

Later in Genesis 15, God said to Abraham, “Don’t be afraid.  I am your shield, your very great reward.”

God would use Abraham’s family as a light and a witness of God’s ways for generations and generations…leading to the birth of Jesus.

In my own little way, I pray that I can be a light and a witness of God’s ways to my husband, my children, my friends and family.

The other day my husband happened to come across my to-do list while I was away at coffee with a friend.  He text me a message with a picture of my to do list.  He lovingly mocked me and said, “hey, you forgot one thing!”

“Thanks, Babe!  I haven’t quit conquered this one today!”

The truth: it will probably never get crossed off.

And that is the woman I hope to continue to be. Always focused, purposeful with my day.  Yet at any moment, dying to my self…my agenda…my to do list.

Love, Michele

PS.  If you want a good read and a truly beautiful example of a Godly woman choosing Jesus first read, Gladys Aylward with Christine Hunter, The Little Woman.  I can hardly put it down right now…and when I do, it’s to pause because I am in awe of her deep faith in who God is and her bold desire to make HIS name known throughout the villages of war torn China.

When have you had to make a choice to die to your own dreams, desires or plans to say “YES!” to Jesus?  Your story just might give someone else the courage to say yes to Jesus too!

What scripture has the Lord given you to encourage you to die to your self?  What would you share with your sister who wants in on this journey?

___________________________________________________________________________________________

These have been powerful pieces of scripture that I have meditated on.  Asking the Lord to help me really understand what it means to die and for him to live in me!  

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Phil 1:21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

Phil 3:10  I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain the resurrection from the dead.

Hi Diane!

Before I go on with my question I would just like to let you know how much of a blessing it is to to have access to such wonderful wisdom! I always look forward to a new "Love Story" posting every week. I have grown and gained so much from reading them. Thank you for allowing the Lord use you in life changing ways.

OK, my question. It's about guys and girls being friends. Is it possible to remain JUST friends??

I'm in a situation where I have recently befriended this dashing, godly young fella. I have more than every single reason in the world to be friends with him. He is the initiator in the friendship. He's the one who calls me to see what I'm up to and drops by to visit with me. He's a Bible nerd (heck yes!!) He offers to pay if we end up going out somewhere. He's a prefect gentleman! What girl in my position wouldn't think that?

*sigh*

It was great in the beginning, I strictly had friendly feelings for this guy. It's been about a month and a couple weeks since we met. And the first time we met, it was instantaneous friendship from that moment on.

Now, the friend feelings for him are...blossoming into something else. I've been praying for God to help me maintain my "brother in Christ" view for him but it's not working!! I'm pretty sure he likes hanging out with me because I don't "like" him and that pressure isn't there.

Oooh little does he know, unfortunately. I absolutely value this friendship and don't want to do anything to ruin it.

I was always raised to believe that if a girl is going to be friends with a guy, then something better happen.

Ultra conservative? Or rational point of view? I don't know.

Any advice?

Thank you from the bottom of my heart :)

Dear Friend,

What a bright and cheerful email on this gloomy day! Thank you for your encouraging words and honesty about your heart.

Let me just answer as a mom- I am certainly no expert in relationships between men and women, but I do have 2 godly sons and 2 lovely daughters and sort of a front seat to the reality of today's dating/friendship story.

I do think its possible for guys and girls to remain friends and just enjoy each other's company and very different perspectives. However… it rarely works for very long. The very things that attract you to the friendship often create a response in your heart for what you know you want and are made for- a deeply spiritual friendship oneness that blossoms into romance and marriage.

And that's a good thing.

Don't apologize for that! It means you are a woman- passionate and loyal and getting ready to bind yourself to a man's vision and calling for the rest of your life.

A very good thing.

That said, how do you know for sure that he's not interested in more? At a retreat I spoke at last weekend I urged the women to learn to be inviting. To let the guy they are interested in knowing better know that you would welcome his initiative should he so choose.

Have you done that?

Remember, guys are often sort of clueless (sorry guys!) and so very different than women. They fear intense emotions in the beginning of a relationship, because they are often not sure what to do in response if their own emotions are a little milder, so don't come on too strong. But perhaps it is time to let him know that you think he is amazing- godly and kind and a leader whose life fascinates you. Admire him and don't hold back on the verbal affection that every person alive craves and needs.

Is there risk that he will back off? Yes, but in that you'll need to entrust this whole attraction to God. He knows what and who is best for you. The worst thing you could do, would be to so fear losing the friendship that you never let him know that your heart is becoming drawn to him.

You'll lose this friendship eventually anyway, you know. Once he starts a romantic relationship with someone else you'll have to back away from this close of a friendship.

As to the way you were raised to believe that all male friendships must lead to a relationship… or else, we both know that's not really true. And its way too much pressure anyway. My son, Matt has a couple of friends who willingly speak into his life from time to time- mainly about relationships from a womanly viewpoint. He doesn't spend vast amounts of time with them, but they hang out in groups and keep in touch as more of a sisterly relationship. He values those young women and they have helped him overcome some of that masculine denseness that so frustrates young women. Yet if they were to spend too much time together and talk and call frequently I think it would eventually lead to something or ruin the friendship.

So… there's a mom's perspective.

Now take this whole thing to the Lord, lay it out before Him with all the honesty you've given me, open your Bible to James 1:5 and ask your Father for His wisdom. He'll give it to you generously… and then do what He says with perfect peace and trust in His great love for you and involvement in your future.

And I'd love to know what happens…

From my heart,

Diane

Thursday was a whirlwind. I woke up looking forward to the day and with a To Do list packed full.

Duke and I were going to have a morning around the house of playing, working out, getting ready and tidying up.

Then we were headed to make a quick stop by Brook’s new office to say hello.

Then off to my mom’s house so Duke could take a nap there while I went grocery shopping for us and for my brother (his wife had been in Uganda for 5 weeks while they adopted my new niece!)

I was just slightly looking forward to grocery shopping by myself. Not that going with Duke isn’t wonderful… just a bit different of an experience.

I had a two-hour window to go to Costco, Winco and Trader Joe’s and be back to pick up Duke and take John Mark his groceries.

I pulled up to the Costco parking lot with a massive downpour enveloping my car and realized I had forgotten my phone. Normally this wouldn’t be a big deal but I am 9.5 months pregnant and could go into labor at any moment.

I thought for a minute about going back to get it but then decided to just shop as quick as I could and hope my water didn’t break.

I buzzed through Costco and Winco… getting SOAKED in each parking lot and then headed to Trader Joe’s.

At this point my “relaxing” time of grocery shopping all alone was not feeling the way I had envisioned.

I pulled into Trader Joe’s, got out my list and realized something…

Everything on John Mark’s list was from Trader Joe’s.

John Mark’s list was on my phone.

My phone was at my parent’s house.

Stress level rising.

To make my long day shorter…

I ended up getting home at 8:30 that night , putting Duke to bed, eating dinner after 9  and falling exhausted into bed as soon as Brook got home at 10.

Needless to say, my day didn’t work out the way I’d planned.

Instead of feeling accomplished and satisfied at the end of the day, I was exhausted, frazzled, and wishing I had been able to finish my laundry, sweep my floor and cross everything off my list of things to do.

Yet this morning I awoke earlier then usual and God had something waiting for me.

I opened by Bible to Luke 10 and the story of Martha and Mary jumped off the page to me in a whole new way.

I have always resonated with Martha and am certainly a woman who gets wrapped up in tasks. In fact, I often enjoy the tasks. Yet, I can get consumed by them and lose sight of what else God might have for me in the day.

Jesus says:

Luke 10: 41

“Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

This verse sums up my Thursday. I was worried and bothered instead of choosing to sit at Jesus’ feet.

My floors will stay clean only until my husband and son come running down the halls, filling our home with laughter and joy.

My To Do list will always have something new to be added as soon as something old is crossed off.

My laundry will be finished for a few fleeting moments before Duke spills lunch on his t-shirt.

My grocery shopping will be complete until I get home and realize I forgot bananas.

Yet these are the very things that give my life meaning and purpose. They show that my life is filled with people… and people are so much more important then tasks.

I am speaking from a place of weakness and asking God to give me strength. Will you ask Him to the same for you?

In the passage immediately following, Jesus speaks to his disciples about prayer:

Luke 11:9-10

"So I say to you, ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock; and it will be opened to you. For anyone who asks receives; and he who seeks, finds; and him who knocks it will be opened.”

Often His answers are different then what we would picture.

They may not come in more time to accomplish tasks.

They may come in the form of more interruptions that seemingly create more tasks.

But may we remember to sit at His feet, first. Asking what His will is for today.

From a mom who is learning,

Elizabeth

PS: In light of what God is teaching me this week… I’m taking the time to enjoy my family this week and rest a bit before we add a new baby girl.

But I don’t want to leave you empty handed in the recipe department so I wanted to link you to one of our favorite treats on these stormy days. ENJOY!

I was 14 the first time I stepped through the doors of a real church. Oh I’d tramped through countless cathedrals in my early years growing up in Europe. Taken tours, listened to lectures about commissioned artistry, admired stained glass windows and plunked my pennies in the locked offering box. And I’d occasionally sat through traditional services under a scratchy straw Easter hat swinging my soon to be hopelessly scuffed white patent leather Mary Jane’s.

But those churches seemed set in a different dimension entirely than the church that drew me in, caught my heart, and, if I may be so bold— saved my life.

Los Gatos Christian Church met in a refurbished warehouse nestled in the hills near my home. With its redwood walls, load bearing beams, and exposed aggregate floors, it looked like no other church I’d ever seen.

And it was packed; wall-to-wall people. And decidedly unchurch-like-loud with the voices of genuinely happy people all shoving past each other to lay claim to a cold metal chair to call their own.

From the moment I walked in those doors I knew I wanted whatever these people had. I wanted in. I wanted to be a part of this, to lay claim to my own seat right in the front row.

And this church, according to the new generation of experts in the know— did it all wrong.

It was, in the derogatory terms that make me cringe, a Big Box church. An attractional model.

And that, in case you didn’t know, is bad— very bad.

Not a small group program in sight.

But for me, what happened every week in that big box felt very much like a massive family reunion. With aunts and uncles and second-cousins-once-removed, and a whole cadre of white haired grandparents who thought I was “so cute, and way too thin, and wouldn’t I love to come for dessert?”

Gosh they loved me well.

I vividly remember one of my first weeks there when a bunch of kids way too cool for this still dorky-recent-expatriate, invited me to tumble into their fleet of teenage cast-off cars and meet at Farrell’s Ice Cream Parlor.

Believe me, no one in my rich suburban high school had ever invited me anywhere in the months since I’d arrived back on American soil. In my brand new J.C. Penny Catalogue clothes (the height of fashion in 1970’s expatriate Europe) I stuck out like a sore thumb— or a geek— or maybe it was a dork back in those days.

But these kids didn’t care. They just swooped me into their happy world and fed me ice cream.

When the pastor of that church strode over to our waitress abusing table and, at the behest of the kids, performed his comedic face shaking, spittle loosening imitation of who-knows-what, I was stunned.

And oh-my-gosh, he wore a suit! No black robe, no choking clerical collar, just the kind of clothes everyone’s dad wore to work every day back then.

And they called him Marvin. Not reverend, not His Holiness, not even Mister.

Nowadays the guy would be lashed in blogs and denigrated in seminars bemoaning his CEO status. This was top down leadership at its peak. But all those leadership faux pas didn’t seem to stop God from using him to change the lives of hundreds— maybe thousands of people.

And me.

Over time I began to learn that the thing that drew these people together and welled up in singing and clapping and laughing and note-taking camaraderie wasn’t a thing at all— but a person.

They told me about Jesus, certain I would want to know. Not in the least bit subtle or seeker friendly.

And I did want to know. And I did want Him. Because if He could create their brand of actual life-giving happiness in me— well, who wouldn’t do anything to have that?

So I signed on, joined up, and started taking notes with everyone else.

Was I genuine? Sincere? Probably not.

Mostly I just wanted to fit in with a fantastic group of new friends. I copied them in every way I could. From the way I held my Bible— a cool new paperback version called The Way— to the sweater I now wore over my skin baring halter-top.

But before long, my craving for these church people’s approval gave way to a craving for more of this Jesus they so obviously loved. And with their help I learned and grew to understand things I’d never known before. I began to change, not just on the outside, but somewhere down deep.

I fell in love with Jesus.

I remember sitting at the end of a dock at a camp called Hume Lake. I’d been roused from my bunk by the sound of each of my friends slipping out into the early morning.  I knew where they were going and felt that subtle pressure to go there to.

It was my first attempt to try this thing they all did called, “a quiet time”.

The words of Matthew drew me in as I underlined, I think, most of the book. I skipped breakfast that day (well, the place was infamous for the glue like oatmeal they served) to power through those words that seemed to come to life.

No wonder most my friends got up at ungodly hours every morning to do “devotions”. I felt my soul fill up as I feasted on the words.

The day I was baptized wearing a funky white robe while every one of my friends and new family swayed to the Old Rugged Cross, was the highlight of my life. I filled that baptistery with salted tears of the purest joy I had ever known.

Just remembering the pastor who taught me… the kids who included me… and all the people who loved me… brings back that rush of well being that comes only rarely in real life.

Why do I love the Church? With all our flaws and failures and inadequacies and ridiculous fads?

Because when I needed what they had—

They gave me Jesus.

From my heart,

Diane

P.S. Now to be perfectly honest, that church no longer exists. The building is there, occupied by a different church under new leadership. Los Gatos Christian Church slowly died and was buried. May she rest in peace.

But maybe churches are not meant to live forever. Maybe some die and new life emerges from the fertile soil of a once great church. And maybe this church my husband started with my son— the one my son now leads— maybe we’re one of those emerging churches, different, but so much the same as that place that brought me home.

My Grandma Ruth loved me.

She would tell me she loved me with a kiss on my cheek and a simple “I love you, dear”.

And she would show me she loved me….

By cutting the crust off my sandwiches at lunch (on white Wonder Bread of course)

And always making sure the candy dish was freshly filled when I came to visit.

And stocking the freezer with “Awful Waffles” (aka: Eggo Waffles).

And freshly baked coffee cake waiting on the counter as soon as I arrived.

She loved my family and me through food every time we came to visit her house. She would serve us and my Grandpa tirelessly and always served a beautiful dinner every night… complete with a homemade dessert.

She was a beautiful example of what true service is in every way.

She never seemed flustered or too busy for me… even when I was trying to “help” her cook dinner.

She never complained about the dirty dishes in the sink.

She awoke before everyone else so she could have coffee ready and all the breakfast options waiting for us on the counter.

She and my grandpa even slept on the pull out couch in their living room so my family could use their bedroom and have plenty of space.

I long to be like my Grandma Ruth and serve in the way she did.

One of our favorite meals she would make was called Chili Con Carne and her recipe has been passed down and made by everyone in the family.

The only problem is, like most of her cooking, it is not exactly all that good for you.

But oh so tasty!

So, a few years ago I revised her recipe to be a bit better for you but still achieve the same Grandma’s Chili taste.

I hope you enjoy it as much as our family does!

Elizabeth

GRANDMA’S CHILI… almost

*Serves 8ish and freezes perfectly!

*Contains dairy

INGREDIENTS:

2 packages of ground turkey (about 2.75lbs)

1 medium onion – chopped

1 T minced garlic

2 cans black beans - drained and rinsed

2 cans kidney beans - drained and rinsed

1 box of Trader Joes Roasted Red Pepper Tomato Soup

4 T chili powder

1 T cumin

1 tsp sea salt

½ tsp pepper

1 T flour (I used oat flour but any kind of four works)

Splash of water

TO MAKE:

Heat a bit of olive oil in a large pan. Add ground turkey and let it begin to brown.

Once it has cooked for a bit, break it up in to small chunks and add chopped onion and garlic.

While the meat is finishing cooking, combine chili powder, cumin, sea salt, pepper and flour in a bowl and stir well. Add a few tablespoons of water and stir well. It should make a thick paste.

Once the meat is finished cooking, add the paste to the meat and stir.

Add black beans, kidney beans and tomato soup.

Bring everything to a boil, and then reduce to a simmer for about 15 minutes to allow the flavors to combine.

Give it a taste and add more spices if needed. If you would like it a bit spicy, add some cayenne pepper.

*This meal works great when made ahead of time and reheated for dinner. It also freezes really well. I usually freeze half and then use the other half for dinner and leftovers.

TO SERVE:

• My grandma ALWAYS served hers on bow-tie noodles. It may sound a bit strange to have chili with noodles… but it is AMAZING! I would recommend a good whole wheat noodle or brown rice noodle.
• It also works on quinoa, just by itself… or a little corn bread never hurt either.
• It can be topped with cheese, guacamole or sliced avocado, sour cream or plain Greek yogurt… or all of the above.

ENJOY!

PS: she really did make the best Sour Cream Coffee Cake and Pineapple Upside Down Cake around and I plan to attempt a healthier version of those sometime soon as well!

This morning I got up in the wintered dark to meet with the Father. Rain pelted the windows while I sat wrapped in my mom’s quilt on my couch.

His words wrapped me warm in that way He does when He has something

I need to hear.

Something important, something wise.

Most mornings I read from Edges of His Ways, a devotional written long ago by a woman whose words never fail to resonate with my soul.

This morning was no exception,

and I couldn’t help but think of all of you… women who long to listen just as I do… women who are learning what that looks like,

what He sounds like,

what it is He has to say.

And so I share these words with you.

May He speak to you through Amy Carmichael’s heart as He did to me…

The only thing that matters is to please Me.

Have you noticed that if you go to sleep with the thought of Him Who your soul loveth, you waken— at least often it is so— with some little word from Him, a verse from His Book, or a hymn, or just a simple word that tells you nothing new, but somehow helps.

“The only thing that matters is to please Me,” that was the word that woke me a few days ago, and it has not gone away. When the thought of the things that I cannot do comes and tries to trouble me, this little simple word comes at once. The other things seem to matter. I often think they do matter. But they are as though they did not matter in comparison with pleasing our Lord Jesus.

Are any of you tried about anything? I think if you listen you will hear Him say, “The only thing that matters is to please Me.”

From my heart,

Diane

I received this delightful note from one of our women who is a teacher in a school in Salem. I was struck by the wisdom of a child. I’ve added a few comments of my own to his essay… not that it needed one bit more! I think this little guy pretty much says it all.

Hi Diane

I have so enjoyed reading your blog on marriage lately.  I’ve also been listening to Mars Hill’s sermon series on marriage.  And then yesterday, I came across one of my middle schooler’s art projects while grading.  The assignment was to create a sculpture that represented a human relationship, emotion or attribute.  He chose marriage.  And he is in 6^th grade.  My heart was so glad, after reading his essay on his sculpture.  I don’t work at a Christian school, so to hear this from a child was priceless!  Just wanted to pass it along to someone who appreciates what God does through marriage as much as I do!

Art and Primary Spanish Teacher

Abiqua School

The reason behind this sculpture is happiness or marriage.

This is a feeling that first time marriage people will never forget. This feeling for most people is the best feeling they will ever feel in their lifetime.

In the painting you may see that if you picture their faces together as one,

they look half and half.

That is what married people should commit to.

I chose red as a color because red represents all of the arguments and problems and miscommunication that will be a part of marriage but the two people will stay strong and carry on.

I chose green as a relaxing color because you now work as a team and everything you do is now one.

I chose yellow as a color because it represents how much you want to do this and how enthusiastic and happy you are about your decisions.

Red, green, yellow.

Red because conflict is a reality when two people choose to become one. Because becoming one takes a whole lot of dying to self and forgiving and covering over all those irritants that threaten to undo us. And because for most of us it’s an embarrassingly messy process. And life intrudes and things go wrong and we have a million opportunities to choose- grace and mercy or disapproval and rejection?

Green because a great marriage creates a space that is so restful and refreshing that a whole family- and indeed an on looking world- can find peace and hope and rest there. And because green is a symbol of growth and newness and that’s what a God centered marriage between two people creates in this whole crazy process of becoming one.

Yellow for the sheer joy of participating in a miracle. Like my daffodils blooming in the midst of a dreary day, a marriage done right brings delight to everyone who gets to glimpse this outlandish idea of God’s.

And I think that’s enough said…

From my heart,

Diane

When Brook and I first met, he didn’t like fish. Of any kind. Ever. I loved fish… but was terrible at making it.

Needless to say, for the first few years of our marriage, there was no fish being bought, prepared or consumed in our household.

Until… one summer we were invited to a ranch that some friends of ours own and they had hired a fantastic chef to cook for us all. We happened to be having salmon for dinner and Brook LOVED it.

I don’t remember what the chef used on the fish (I was too distracted by Brook’s sounds effects as he ate it) but I do remember how excited Brook was about it.

This in turn inspired me to try a bit harder to incorporate fish into our diet on a regular basis and made me determined to find ways to prepare it that Brook would like.

With some time, lots of trial and error and a very patient husband… we now eat fish several times a week and we BOTH love it.

May I encourage you to keep an “open pallet” when it comes to food? Even foods you or your family may not love initially? Just like we individually grow and change… so do our taste buds!

I am not saying make yourself eat things you hate.

There are just some things you may never like.

I want to say that I like beets. They are SO good for you and pretty! The reality is I have tried them in every shape and form and I still think they taste like dirt. Some say they have an “earthy” flavor. I beg to differ.

What I am saying is try new things every once and while and be creative with how you prepare foods.

Especially with your children! Keep trying to find ways to help them eat whole, nutrition filled foods.

I have a 2.5 year old myself and I know how hard this can be! Yet, I already see his tastes changing and as we “strongly encourage” him to at least try a bit of everything.

Today’s recipe is one way we love to eat fish. We usually use it on salmon but it would work on any kind of fish and maybe even on chicken.

ENJOY!

PS: if you like beets, maybe you can send me new recipes to help change how I feel about them! Until then… I will steer clear.

Elizabeth

SMOKED PAPRIKA RUB

Serves 2 – 3 (if you are feeding more, simply double or triple the recipe)

THE RUB:

1 T brown sugar

1 T cumin

1 ½ tsp smoked paprika

A few dashes of cayenne pepper

Salt and pepper

Lemon Juice

Olive oil

Salmon/Tilapia – as much as you need to fill the bellies of whom you are feeding.  Adjust quantities of the rub according to how much salmon you use. I used about 10oz of salmon to feed Brook, Duke and myself and this was the perfect amount of rub for that.

Preheat oven to 400F

In a small mixing bowl, combine brown sugar, cumin, smoked paprika, cayenne pepper, salt and pepper. Give it a good stir.

Arrange fish on a baking sheet and squeeze or drizzle lemon juice on each piece. Drizzle just a bit of olive on each piece as well. Use your hands to rub it in a bit.

Scoop the rub onto the fish and use your hands to evenly coat the top and sides of the fish.

Place baking sheet in the oven and bake until it flakes with a fork. The baking times will differ depending on what kind of fish you use.

TO SERVE:

It goes great with rice, potatoes, pasta, salad… just about anything. And a side of veggies of course!

We ate ours tonight with sweet potato fries and steamed broccoli.

Then he said to them, “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For he who is least among you all—he is the greatest.”

Luke 9:48

NIV

Sometimes you just know you are in the presence of greatness.

When Bishop Juene and my dear sister, Doris walked into my home on Sunday night, I felt it.

Something more foreign than their Haitian heritage, lovelier than the Creole lilt to their flawless English.

A sort of strength. A beauty. A humble dignity that could be felt.

When they sank weary from a long day of ministry into their places at our table, instead of sighing, they delighted in the spread.

My friend Jodi had delivered the perfect feast on a cold and rainy Northwest night: thick soup, hearty breads, creamy cheeses… and raspberries! Where do raspberries grow in the middle of winter?

Dinner among friends.

Laughter echoed loud. Madame Doris chuckles with her whole body, weaving in a sort of dance of delight. The dignified Bishop shakes his suit-clad shoulders, his face filled with the joy.

When finally the talk grew quiet, my always-alert husband asked, “Now… how are you? Are your needs being met? How can we help?"

And that’s when I learned that these magnificent servants of the Most High God, these two people,

…who are revered in all of Haiti,

…whose work impacts thousands,

…who have saved who-knows-how-many from death and despair,

…who welcomed 20,000 helpless Haitians onto their property immediately after the earthquake, setting up water and food distribution and shelter,

…have never owned a home of their own.

They live with their 30 or so adopted girls, claiming one small room for themselves.

Everything they do, everything they have, every moment of their lives, is devoted to serving God by saving His children.

And I sat at that table, my shoulder rubbing against her greatness, and saw all that I have.

A beautiful home.

A place to welcome friends.

A place to hide from all the world and rest a while.

Madame Doris dreams of a home of her own where she can welcome her own two boys and their wives and a growing passel of grandchildren. The family she dreamed of when growing up in an orphanage without parents of her own.

A place to be Mom and Dad… and grandma and pops…for just a little while.

And I wish I could give it to her. And maybe I can… but I don’t know how… but He does.

And so when we huddled close to pray, I asked.

For them. For her.

Someday, Father… please?

From my heart,

Diane

For the past several weeks, in between some great Love Stories, we’ve been taking a fresh look at four reasons for marriage… and four questions to ask yourself while looking for The One… and four areas, which must align in your relationship in order to make a marriage great. We’ve talked about the pillar of Friendship…and the importance of Mission…about Sexuality and how our choices in this area affect just about everything…

And today I want to talk about the forth pillar that lays a strong foundation for a vibrantly God-honoring marriage.

FAMILY

Right at this moment I am sitting three feet away from three of the most important people in my life. Their names are Jude, Moses, and Duke…my grandboys. They’re cuddled up in a ragtag assortment of love worn blankets watching Baloo the Bear dance across the screen in The Jungle Book.

(Jude)

(Moses)

(Duke)

These boys think I can do no wrong. They beg to come to my house, obey me better than their parents, believe everything I say and basically fill my life with more love and affection than I ever thought possible. And in just a couple of weeks I’m going to get two granddaughters to add to this rich tableau.

If that isn’t enough to convince me of the richness of my life with Phil for these past 33 years, I just have to look at the messages on my phone: John Mark telling me I’m just the greatest, Tammy asking for wisdom, Rebekah confiding her heart in me, Elizabeth asking me to join her in a shopping spree, and Matt wondering what time I’m planning dinner and can he bring a friend?

My life couldn’t be fuller. Or better. Or richer.

When Phil and I fell in love we didn’t know much more about being parents than that we wanted to raise our children to love God passionately.

We had no idea how, no clue what to do.

But we set out on a search for wisdom that soon became our center message. Together we read and asked questions and sought counsel and prayed and searched the Scriptures.

We made sacrifices and so did our kids.

We made mistakes and so did our kids.

But under Phil’s leadership and love our family thrived, our marriage became bigger than just us, and our ministry came to encompass a whole bevy of gifted individuals who are now leading their own families in the way of the Kingdom.

And it all started with a vision. And a prayer. And just the tiniest hope that maybe God could do something with us— something magnificent, something world changing.

It was 1981 and we were living in a dingy rental home near Multnomah University while Phil went to grad school. I had a six-month-old baby, no family nearby, no friends, no car, and no money. But just down the street was a fabulous used bookstore in the basement of a decrepit old house. One day while I was perusing the musty shelves for something to read, I stumbled upon an out of print book that changed my whole view of parenthood. With the unfortunate title of, “Marriage to a Difficult Man”, I’m sure Phil must have wondered what in the world was up with me! But this was a biography of one of America’s most influential theologians, Jonathon Edwards.

Towards the back of the book, the author had listed the impact that Jonathon and Sarah Edwards’ family had had on the history of our nation. Generation after generation of men and women of tremendous influence whose mission became bringing the Kingdom into the world in which they lived.

There were politicians and pastors and missionaries and culture changers. Artists and policy makers and ambassadors and even a Vice-President of the United States.

I was blown away.

Two painfully ordinary people who were used by God to affect extraordinary influence on the world.

And we wanted to do the same.

You see we’d come to know the Lord so late in life that the first many years were spent just figuring out what it meant to be Jesus followers. We assumed that our direct impact would be less than spectacular.

But we knew our children would have a different story. And so God put it on our hearts to pray for and work towards and make it our mission to raise up a generation of Jesus followers who would love Him and know Him and be equipped to serve Him in ways far beyond our own limited capacities.

And He did.

Crazy.

John Mark serves Him as lead pastor of Solid Rock. Rebekah and her husband Steve are bringing light and joy and hope right there in the middle of L.A.’s design culture. Elizabeth is pouring into her children and partnering with her husband who is a pastor. Matt spends his days studying theology so he can be equipped for the mission God calls him to.

And we all have huge flaws and embarrassing tendencies. Sin and Satan crouch at the door waiting for us to mess up, just like everyone else.

We do fail, we will fail.

But our family has chosen to hide in the shelter of a Redeemer who uses even people like us.

And now the next generation of passionate Jesus followers are being trained… what will they be? And do? Will their names someday be listed in the back of an out of print book in an obscure bookstore?

Phil and I have chosen to give our lives to this crazy Comer family of ours.

Together.

Because with Phil leading and me serving and both of us praying and talking and working and loving and doing hard things, we have formed something beautiful. Something important.

And that, my dear friends, is one incredibly valuable reason for marriage.

And one incredibly important reason to choose carefully.

From the heart of a grateful woman,

Diane

“Keen-what???” That was my response the first time someone asked me if I had ever tried quinoa (pronounced: keen-wah). It sounded sort of strange to me but it did peak my curiosity enough to give it a try.

It is now a favorite in our house and we eat it several times a week. My husband prefers it to most grains so we use it in place of brown rice most of the time.

Due to its flavor and texture, it is very versatile and tastes great with just about anything added to it. I am always looking for new ways to cook/eat it and that is how today’s recipe came about.

Here are a few ways we like to eat it:

Mexican: we use it as a base for mexi bowls or a side dish for tacos. As well as in this weeks recipe.

Asian: we also use it as a base for stir-fry’s with veggies and chicken or salmon

Mediterranean: it tastes great with veggies and some feta and olives tossed in.

For Kids: Duke is somewhat of a picky eater (more on that in future posts) but he loves quinoa with black beans and avocado.

Salads: I use leftover quinoa in salads for lunch. It adds a great texture and bulk to any type of salad and is a great way to use up leftovers.

A bit of interesting information about quinoa:

• It is naturally gluten free
• It provides all of the eight essential amino acids, making it a complete protein!
• Although most of us think if it as a grain, quinoa is actually a close relative to leafy green vegetables such as spinach and Swiss chard. Thus making it one of the best sources of protein in the vegetable kingdom.
• Costco sells a 4lb bag (it lasts us forever!) of organic, rinsed quinoa for $10. This is the best price I have found so far.

So… if you haven’t given it a try, you should! Today’s recipe works great as a side dish or main course and the leftovers are perfect for lunch.

ENJOY!

Elizabeth

PS: I’d love to hear your favorite ways to use quinoa and what you have been making lately!

QUINOA SALAD:

THE MIX

• 1 1/2 cups quinoa (rinsed)
• 3 cups vegetable broth or water
• 1 can rinsed/drained black beans
• 1 C corn (I used organic frozen corn because it has no added salt or preservatives)
• 1 chopped bell pepper
• 1 C chopped red onion
• 1-2 jalapeños
• 1/2 C patted down chopped cilantro

THE DRESSING:

• 1/4 C olive oil
• Juice from 2 limes
• 2 tsp cumin
• 2 tsp garlic powder
• 1/2 tsp sea salt

TO MAKE:

Cook quinoa in vegetable broth (or water) according to the package instructions. I cook mine in a rice cooker but the stove works great too. Allow it to cool completely.

Add black beans, corn, bell pepper, red onion, jalapenos and cilantro and stir all together.

In a bowl, combine olive oil, lime juice, cumin, garlic powder and salt and stir well.

Add the dressing mixture to the quinoa mixture and you are done!

TO SERVE:

Serve cold as a side dish or main course. Garnish with sliced avocado and cilantro if desired.

“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,

for power is perfected in weakness.”

Therefore I am well content with

weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties,

for Christ’s sake;

for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:9,10

Paul had a problem.

Some sort of sickness had settled into his eyes that caused people to be repulsed by him. And this for a man who spent every moment of every day dealing with people—before Facebook and email and twitter and blogs made talking face-to-face obsolete.

“A messanger from Satan”, he called it, “a thorn in the flesh”.

It nagged him constantly, interrupted his whole life.

He wanted it away.

I can just imagine how people tried not to stare. You know that thing people do when they don’t want to look at you but they can’t help it? It happens to me every summer when the weather gets hot and I sweep my hair off my neck into a ponytail.  There, for the whole world to see, is this big ugly computer thingy stuck to my head with a magnet.

Not exactly a fashion statement.

And people wonder what is that thing? And they try to look at me without looking at it. I hate that.

Paul knew exactly what to do with his problem. He decided to pray it away.

The first time Paul prayed must have been really dramatic. I mean this was Paul! The preacher who’d raised a teenager from the dead when the poor guy fell asleep during the sermon and fell out the window. He fell smack on his head and he died right then and there. Which, of course, didn’t deter preacher Paul at all. He just went outside, put his praying hands on the guy and healed him. Told him to get back upstairs and listen to the rest of his message. Which he did.[1]

So can you just imagine how confident Paul must have felt when he first prayed for healing?

But nothing happened. Nothing.

His eyes still seeped ugliness and people still stared.

He tried again, a little quieter this time. Please? Nothing.

By this time Paul was desperate… and perplexed. Wasn’t God listening? Didn’t He care? Couldn’t He see how this disease was affecting Paul’s life and ministry? He reminded God how much glory He’d get by healing up this mess which couldn’t possibly be God’s wonderful plan for his best life.[2]

By now Paul was not simply asking God to heal him, he’d upped the intensity to entreating.

I entreated the Lord three times that it might depart from me.

That’s when Paul got his answer: NO.

No, I’m not going to heal you. No, I’m not going to make this messy thing go away. Not even if you are serving Me and sacrificing for Me. My answer is still NO. And furthermore, My grace is sufficient for you Paul. Even with seeping eyes and staring friends. You are weak. But I am strong and that’s the point. I’m strong and I’m enough.

So I’m going to leave you with this disgusting eye thing and you’re going to get stronger and mightier because of it.

Because of Me.

And you know what is amazing to me about this story? Paul simply said, Okay. He didn’t whine, or pout, or even share how he felt about the No.

Gosh.

Sometimes God says No.

We don’t have to understand it or agree with it or like it. But if we’re going to have half a chance at happiness in the midst of it, we are going to have to do what Paul did and say okay.

That is the only possible way we’re going to be, deep down in our souls, content with all the weaknesses, distresses, and difficulties that go along with the thing you wish you didn’t have. And when some misguided soul pats your hand and says, well, I’m sure its for the best dearie, you’re going to have to restrain yourself from biting her dear sweet head off.

Sometimes that okay is the toughest thing you’ll ever say.

Okay to that thing you really think you ought to have but He says no to. Okay without the reason and wherefores and whys. Just okay.

But when you say it…if you’ll say it… something magical and mystical begins to happen.

He makes it okay.

I know because...

When I finally stopped all my frantic ranting and raving and demanding that God give me back my hearing…

When I quieted enough to realize the audacity of my anger at God for not giving me what I wanted…

When, in a heap of feminine drama, I surrendered my dread of deafness and just said…

okay God, Your will, not mine

That’s when He stepped in and gathered me close and whispered sweet wisdom into my brokenness.

That thing I didn’t want.  That thing I feared. That word I could hardly utter…

became okay.

And here’s a bit of wisdom I’d never known ‘til now—

Before you know it, contentment creeps in. Then after a while you wonder what all that fuss was about anyway.

Because it really is okay.

From my heart,

Diane

Have you found a treasure in the darkness? A beautiful relief when you’ve finally said okay? Will you share your story with us? It just might give some of us the courage surrender.

---

[1] Acts 20

[2] I’m ad libbing here.

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about the delight I have had of sharing my husband’s mission and calling for the past 33 years. I urged young women to consider carefully a man’s vision before they consent to join their life in marriage. And I encouraged wives to fully embrace their husband’s vision and put everything they are into helping him fulfill his God given calling. And in so doing, it would seem, I opened up a discussion on the role of women in marriage. A good discussion, full of honest seeking and intelligent searching into the Word of God for answers.

Today I have asked my friend, Vicki Marshman to share with us. She is one of the smartest and kindest women I know. A woman I am honored to call my friend.

Vicki, one of the first female graduates of the Air Force Academy, combines all that academic discipline with a lifetime of loving on her husband, Steve, and her two daughters.

Settle in and learn from her Biblical research and loving wisdom— these are things we need to know.

From my heart,

Diane

*4 REASONS FOR MARRIAGE: part 4 will be back next week.

WOMEN + MARRIAGE: by vicki marshman

Recently Diane posted a fascinating discussion on marriage and mission.  I thought she did a wonderful job of laying out the concept of having a mission in your marriage.  As wives we are called to be under the headship of our husbands (I am going to spend quite a bit of time on that topicJ).  But I wanted to weigh in on the idea of wives supporting the ‘mission’ of our husbands.  When Steve and I were dating- in the dim past when bell bottoms and ‘big hair’ were the height of fashion- one of the things that drew me to him was his plans for the future.  He was a man with a vision.  He wasn’t floating through life waiting for something to drop into his lap.  He knew what he wanted and he had a plan for getting there.  He was a new Christian, but he already was seeking God’s plan for his life.  In other words, he had a mission.  Over the course of our dating I found that his vision for the future was compelling and one that I wanted to devote my life to also.  I saw that my dreams and desires closely matched with his.  THIS SHOULD BE A BIG CLUE TO THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE DATING!!! If what excites your man leaves you cold- you are dating the wrong man!

As we have been married, we have worked together to further define and refine Steve’s vision.  We each brought different strengths and gifts to our marriage. We have helped each other to recognize our own unique gifts- or lack thereof- we have both finally accepted that neither of us can sing, Steve has a true gift for teaching and I am the only one in our family who can remember where the car keys are.  But one thing has remained, Steve has desired to follow God and serve him with all of his heart.  He has been the leader in our family and has worked hard to guide and care for his family.  I have been able to fully use my gifts to join with and support him in that role/mission.  It has sometimes been a wild ride, but who wants to stay in the slow lane the whole time?  Do I feel like I have ignored my own dreams and goals to follow after Steve’s?  Absolutely not!  I believe that I have been able to fully explore my talents and gifts as we have worked together.  Steve has always encouraged and supported me in using my gifts and abilities.  Twenty-eight years later I believe that I am doing exactly what God has called me to do- helping my husband accomplish the mission God gave him and, in effect, me.

The Role of Women in Marriage:

I have been married to my husband for 28 years.  Steve and I were 22 and 23 when we married, (yes, I married a ‘younger man’) and to be honest I had absolutely no idea of what I was doing when I first said “I do”.  I had only been a believer for a few months and Steve was a new believer too.  So neither of us really knew what the Bible had to say about marriage.  My parents were not Christians and they did not have a good marriage. Their chosen method of conflict resolution was yelling followed by door slamming and then a nice long pout (both of them were very good at this).  Needless to say this was not a good plan for a successful marriage.

The first 5 years of our marriage definitely had problems.  I had no idea how to adjust my personal experience of marriage (which can be loosely translated as ‘What not to do!’) to what the Bible had to say about it.  I struggled with what my role in the marriage was supposed to be and I often wondered how two people who seemed so very different and self-centered were ever going to have a godly marriage.

At about the 5 year point in our marriage, Steve and I were living in Germany.  Steve was flying for the Air Force and we were living in an apartment in a small German town.  The exciting thing about this was that we were also a part of a Bible study for young married couples.  All of us had been married for less than 10 years; and most of us had very young children.  It was the best thing that ever happened to our marriage.  We met as a group every week and studied the Bible together and we bore each other’s burdens.

That time was foundational to my understanding of what the Bible has to say about marriage. Steve and I still have our ups and downs but I now know what God wants for us and for our marriage.  It is sometimes hard to accept but always true that God does know best- not my mother, not my friends and definitely not the culture we live in. So the following is what I have learned over the years about Biblical marriage and the role of women in such a marriage.

Let’s start with a good Biblically based definition of what a marriage is:

Marriage is the publicly pledged, permanent, exclusive, covenantal union of one man and one woman.

Wow!  What a mouthful!  Let’s take that definition apart and see what it actually means. 

Publicly pledged: We make our marriage vows to each other in front of witnesses.  These witnesses are there to hear our vows to each other and to encourage and support us as we fulfill those vows. We are NOT saying Yes, to the dress! We are saying yes to a lifelong commitment to a man we love and respect and are willing to be united with for life.

Permanent: Marriage is forever- ‘until death do you part’. This is probably one of the least accepted concepts in our culture today.  Nothing seems permanent in our society.  Everything is disposable, recyclable or replaceable.  Our culture tells us that if our marriage isn’t satisfying or enjoyable or fulfilling or frankly just too much work- we should just reboot our lives and start over.  But the Bible couldn’t disagree more with this view.  Look at the following verses:

Matt 5:32 ³¹ “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ ³² But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Matt 19:3-9 (this passage is very similar to Mark 10:2-12 and Luke 16:18)

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”   ⁴ “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ ⁵ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? ⁶ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  ⁷ “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”  ⁸ Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. ⁹ I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

So what do we take away from these passages?  We are in it for the long haul ladies!  Marriage does not have a 30 day return policy.  If more people accepted that fact going into it, I believe that there would be a lot fewer divorces.

Exclusive: total, complete monogamous faithfulness to your partner.  This should be one of those “Well, DUH!” moments; but again our culture works against us.  Let’s cut right to the chase and see what Paul has to say about this.

1 Corinthians 6:15-17:  ¹⁵ Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! ¹⁶ Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” ¹⁷ But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

Sex is more than just a physical activity.  It unites us with our partner at a deep level.  Notice Paul’s use of the Genesis 2 language- sex within the bounds of marriage is one of God’s gifts to us and should not be taken lightly.  Look at 1 Corinthians 7:2-5.

² But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. ³ The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. ⁵ Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Both husbands and wives are obligated to see to their partner’s needs.  Now I have to be honest here and say that I haven’t heard of too many husbands with a problem in this area.  In fact, men have a physical need for sexual release.  Studies have been done showing most men need this release approximately every 3 days.  As wives we need to aware of and responsive to this need in our men.

Covenantal: We make promises- serious promises, like a binding legal contract before God and before witnesses. We all know what a contract is.  We all know there are often real and serious consequences to breaking a contract- can anyone say “cell phone contract prepayment penalty’?  Why would we think that the consequences of breaking a contract made before God wouldn’t have damaging repercussions?

Union: an intense, intimate, joining of one man and one woman.  The Bible describes it as ‘becoming one flesh’ in Gen 2.  There is a soul-tie between a husband and wife.  This tie is life-long and unbreakable.  We may be able to rip it apart but there is truly great pain in doing so.

Well that was fun!  Here we are in this lifelong committed relationship and some of us don’t even know what the ground rules are.  Fortunately God doesn’t leave us hanging.  A couple of passages discuss the role of wives in a godly marriage.  Most notably Ephesians 5:22-25 and the passage we will be focusing on -1 Peter 3:1-6.

1Pe 3:1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,

1Pe 3:2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

1Pe 3:3 Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear--

1Pe 3:4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

1Pe 3:5 for this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,

1Pe 3:6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

These six verses cover a lot, but I want to concentrate on 3 key principles that every wife should follow:

The first principle is submission.

Yes, we are going to talk about the ‘elephant in the living room’.

Verse one says ‘be subject to your own husbands’;  Submission- this is a controversial topic in our society so let’s take a closer look at what is meant by submission.

Before we begin, let’s establish some ground rules-

1. This issue is specifically intended to address the relationship between a Christian man and woman.  There can be real problems if you try to apply these guidelines outside of Christian marriage.  If you are dealing with a marriage between two non-believers or between a believer and a non-believer some of these principles may simply not apply.
2. These guidelines are only intended to govern the marital relationship.  Women are not submissive to any man, even in the context of the church.  Now in all honesty, we are to be in submission to our elders and pastors, but so are all the men!  Hebrews 13:17 states that

Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.

3.  Women are not required to do anything immoral or that violates any other part of God’s Word.  (Acts 5:29 But Peter and the apostles answered, "We must obey God rather than men”).  Again remember the Bible is approaching this issue from the viewpoint of two believers.

So, what does submission mean?

The best example – as it always is- is Jesus.  Let’s look at Mark 14:32-36.  In these verses we find Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane.  He will soon be arrested, tried and hung on the Cross.  His hour is at hand and He is very naturally feeling great anxiety and fear over the ordeal ahead of Him.

Mar 14:32 and they went to a place called Gethsemane. And he said to his disciples, "Sit here while I pray."

Mar 14:33 and he took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be greatly distressed and troubled.

Mar 14:34 and he said to them, "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch."

Mar 14:35  And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.

Mar 14:36 and he said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."

What is happening in these verses?  Jesus is showing us what submission looks like as He submits to the Father.

Jesus gives His emotions- “My soul is very sorrowful”

Jesus gives His desires- “Remove this cup from me”

Jesus gives His trust- “Yet not what I will, but what you will”

In return the Father hears and cares, He understands and He is faithful and protective.

This is the model for submission that we should see in our marriages.  We share our thoughts/emotions/opinions with our husbands.  Our husbands, the godly men who love us sacrificially listen to us and care for us and are faithful and protective of us.  In this model we have the security and freedom to participate in all decisions and to trust our husbands to do what is best for us in those times when we don’t agree.

Does this always happen?  Well, I don’t know about your halo, but mine has quite a few dings in it where it has slipped off of my head.  I don’t always ‘submit’.  I get scared and lose faith or sometimes I just get selfish and manipulative. Steve has a few flaws tooJ.

Our husbands don’t want a partner who expects them to make all the decisions in a relationship.  They want an equal, active partner who helps them discuss the issues they are facing as a couple/family and come to a decision that both agree on.  However, when a decision needs to be made and there is no agreement it is the husband’s role to make the decision and the wife’s role to support that decision. Give this to your husband- be the contributing partner in the marriage, not the “I knew this wasn’t going to work out” after the fact partner.

Most husbands need and value their wives’ input and instincts- my ‘woman’s intuition’ as Steve calls it.  Over the years of our marriage I can think of only a couple of times when Steve and I could not come to an agreement on an issue.  We have worked as a team.  Steve actively seeks my opinion and input.  I believe that I play a valued and integral role in all of our decisions.  I have to give great credit to my husband here.  He is an excellent example of a godly husband who truly loves me sacrificially and wants to be the leader God has called him to be. This was a difficult thing for me to learn.  I definitely never saw it modeled in my parent’s marriage.  I had to learn to trust and sometimes I just had to be obedient to the Word of God.  But the rewards have been amazing.  I have a husband who loves me and who I trust implicitly.

The second principle deals with our behavior as wives.

Wives are to have ‘respectful and pure conduct (from vs 2).

The dictionary definition of respect: 1) to take notice of; to regard with special attention; to regard as worthy of special consideration; hence to care for; to heed. 2) To consider worthy of esteem; to regard with honor

Respect- ladies our husbands have a huge need to feel competent.  They particularly need to be told they are respected by the significant women in their lives.  And wives are one of the most significant women in any man’s life.  They need to hear us say “Well done”, “Great job”.

We have the ability to discourage our husbands with disrespect or to encourage and honor them with our respect.  Which does the Bible command of us?

In addition we are to act in a pure manner, another word for pure is chaste.  This does not mean that we are repressed or frigid. We are to be passionate, but only for God and our husbands.

The final principle deals with our outward appearance and our inward attitude.

Verse 3 says that we are not to have external adornment.  A better translation would be not MERELY external adornment.  There is nothing wrong with dressing well and grooming our hair so that we look our best.    Most husbands enjoy having their wives look attractive.  But our best should always be decent and modest.

Our adornment should also be more than ‘skin-deep’.  It should focus on the hidden person of the heart; that gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God.

This gentle and quiet spirit needs further definition.  We are not to be doormats.  How can we be a suitable helper for our husbands if we never offer them the benefit of our experience and intuition?  Our husbands need our input and our support.  But sometimes ladies our gentle and quiet spirit needs to do a little more listening and a little less talking.  Admittedly a hard thing for most of us!

Keep in mind that sharing our opinion should not become nagging.  Nagging is a sign of distrust.  When we nag we are telling our husbands- I do not trust you to do this right, or I do not trust you to do it at all.  We need to have faith in our husbands that they will do what is in the best interest of our families.  We need to help them step into the headship role God has called them to.

Be Submissive

Be respectful and chaste

Be decent and modest; with a gentle and quiet spirit.

God gave us these principles because He wants us to experience all of the joy that a good marriage can bring to us.  Marriage is not always easy.  In fact, at times it is very hard.  Two people who often come from very different backgrounds and who have very different needs often have to work very hard to be a ‘giving partner’ to their spouse, a partner who puts the best interest of their spouse ahead of their own needs.

But this is what God calls us to do.  As wives we are called to submit to our husbands.  We are called to be respectful and pure in conduct and we are called to have that quiet and gentle spirit that is precious to God.

Can we do this?  Yes, with the help of the Holy Spirit we can be the kind of wife described in Proverbs 31.

Pro 31:10 an excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

Pro 31:11 the heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

Pro 31:12 she does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

(in case you didn't know, bananas can also be used as guns)

My house is full of boys.

Cousins to be exact.

My brother and sister-in-law (John Mark and Tammy) are currently in Uganda to bring home their new daughter and their two boys, Jude and Moses, are having a giant sleep over at Duke’s house for a few days.

All the boys were full of energy this morning (wait… when are they not full of energy?) and the clouds were pouring buckets outside. So, after hours of Nerf gun wars, action figure battles and karate matches… we decided to bake.

Growing up, my Grandma Sue would always bake us fresh loaves of her famous banana bread whenever we came to visit. Her banana bread is hands - down the best there is. So good in fact, that John Mark would take a loaf for himself and hide it strategically in the house to ensure that he got his fill during our visit. Yep, he is the oldest.

So, the boys and I attempted a somewhat healthier version of banana bread this morning. I don’t usually make up recipes for baked things because I have found several blogs that do a much better job then I do… but the overly brown bananas on my counter where taunting me to put them to good use and make my own recipe… and we had a whole lot of fun in the process!

ENJOY!

Elizabeth

BANANA BREAD: dairy + gluten free

(the three little monkeys)

INGREDIENTS:

• 3 overly ripe bananas
• 3 T ground flax seed + 1/4 C warm water
• 1/4 C melted coconut oil
• 1 T vanilla
• ¼ C sugar
• ½ C brown sugar
• ¼ C unsweetened applesauce
• 1 ½ C oat flour (It is sold in bulk at Whole Food and New Seasons or Bob’s Red Mill sells it by the package at most grocery stores. Or, you can grind old-fashioned oats in blender or food processor to make your own. If you use whole wheat flour instead, you may not need to bake it quite as long.)
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp baking powder
• ½ tsp salt
• 3 tsp cinnamon

TOPPINGS: optional but highly recommended!

• cinnamon sugar + coconut flakes

Preheat oven to 350F.

In a small bowl, combine ground flax seed and warm water. Stir and set aside to thicken for a few minutes

In a mixing bowl, peal the bananas and mash well with a fork.

Add coconut oil, vanilla, sugar, brown sugar, applesauce, and flax seed mixture to the mashed bananas and stir.

In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon and stir well.

Add flour mixture to banana mixture and stir until combined.

Go ahead and sneak a taste of the batter like Duke. I won’t tell.

Pour batter into a greased loaf pan.

Sprinkle cinnamon sugar and coconut flakes on top. Feel free to be generous with the cinnamon sugar…. It’s for the kids, right?

Bake for about 45 minutes.

Duke and Moses got a little bored while it was baking and thought this would be a good idea...

Enjoy fresh out of the oven with a hot cup of tea in front of the fire…

Or, like this…

Off to have another fort making competition… see you next week!

“And Peter got out of the boat,

and walked on the water and came toward Jesus.

But seeing the wind, he became afraid,

and beginning to sink, he cried out, saying,

Lord, save me!”

Matthew 14:29,30

Peter was this really gutsy guy. Brave, bold, the first one to try anything. And those very qualities he was so proud of sometimes got him into trouble.

There was one time when he was really scared. Of course, he wouldn’t have admitted it for the world. A ferocious storm had come up and the boat he was in was “tormented by the waves, for the wind was contrary.” Can’t you see those twelve macho fishermen huddled in the bottom of the boat?  Looking up, they spotted what they were sure was a ghost coming to get them. Everyone, including Peter, started crying.

Contrary winds will do that to you.

As soon as He saw what was going on, Jesus, who was walking along on those crazy waves, spoke to them, saying,

Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.

Then Peter did the strangest thing.  He challenged Jesus to order him to walk on water.“Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.”

And He did. With just a simple word, Come.

So Peter clambered out of that boat right into those contrary wind driven waves.

So bold. So brave. So stupid.

He’d gotten himself into a real predicament now and he knew it.  Here he was, in the middle a massive storm, battered by the wind, and the boat with the rest of his compadres drifting way behind him.

“He became afraid.”

Stark raving terror.

Have you been there? On those waves, surrounded by out-of-control panic, sinking fast?

I’ll bet you did exactly what Peter did. I’ll bet you prayed.

“Lord, save me!”

Big, invincible, self-sufficient, got-it-all-together, me.  Short and sweet.

Help!

And He did. Jesus just stretched out His big beautiful hand and took hold of poor Peter before he had so much as a chance to get water up his nostrils. He gave the guy a good talking to right there out on the water. “Oh you of little faith, why do you doubt?” Then He lifted a now considerably humbled fisherman into the boat and the wind stopped.

Wow. That’s a story.

Do you have a story like that of your own? Has Jesus ever reached out His big, beautiful, powerful hand to you and rescued you right then and there from something really bad? Like sinking deep into something contrary and terrifying that was all your own fault?

Will you write it down?  Send it in? Let us all know how really great God is?

‘Cuz sometimes we just need to remember how big He is when those winds take us for a ride.

From my heart,

Diane

Hi! My name is Kaitlynn, and I am so excited to share my love story with you...

I gave my heart to the Lord seven years ago at the age of 19. God saved me out of a life entrenched in sin and darkness and brought me into HIS marvelous light. I was living in Hawaii at the time when the Lord wanted me to move back to Beaverton, a place that I definitely did not want to return to considering this is where I grew up and had moved away from on purpose. I had left my old life behind and was coming to the same place to start fresh.

When I moved back here I started going to Solid Rock. I was instantly home, I felt so loved, welcomed and embraced, like I belonged. I thrived, grew and started to heal. I was like a hungry newborn needing to eat every hour. I was going to church on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays and soaking up all the Lord was pouring on to me. I was new.

I started to make the best of friends and loved being a part of The Way, which was the college age ministry at the time. I never considered dating or even liking anyone because I knew Gods heart for me at the time was to find and learn who I was in Him first, there was also lots of healing to be done. He was showing me how to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.

As time passed and I had begun to grow firm roots in Jesus, I was ready and started to date this guy, who is wonderful, and godly. Our relationship was pure and fruitful, but he just wasn't right for me. By Gods's grace it didn't work out. It was so healthy for me to have had that experience and I share this with you because I know a lot of people when they experience a relationship that doesn't end in marriage they see this as a failure. I didn't. That relationship set a standard for me that I knew I couldn't go below. For that I am GRATEFUL.

In the summer of 2007, I was focusing on school and an upcoming missions trip to India. There were amazing people from the church on the trip and a few of them had just begun dating. Those relationships looked different. Something about them was so natural, easy, just perfect, like you were watching God write their love stories in front of your eyes…I wanted that. Not in an impatient way, but a 'lay it down at the feet of the Lord' kind of way. I specifically prayed for that: to have it be quick, perfect, certain and so from God there was no mistaking it.

I came back from India with a freshness and excitement. I was content. I didn't want anything except deeper intimacy with Jesus and dating was honestly the last thing on my mind.

One night at The Way as I was listening to the teaching and taking notes, he caught my eye. This handsome, unfamiliar face that I couldn't stop glancing at… I was so distracted.

At church, I became aware of where he was in a room, and I would suddenly "find myself" in the same area as him or talking with the people around him. I was so surprised by how he affected me. Every little exchange we had would would knock the wind out of me. I was so embarrassed every time I got to talk to him because I was sure he could tell how nervous I was.

One Friday night, there was late worship after The Way. I was really tired and probably should have gone straight home afterwards; instead I went over and started talking to a group of people, which he happened to be in. I was going out on a friends boat the next day and I thought I should invite him. So I turned to face him, while someone else was talking, and singling him out I blurted, "Do you want to come out on my friends boat tomorrow?"

Silence…

He asks, "Um, sure. Well who should I call?"

"Oh you can call me…"

I wanted the words back in my mouth, SO BAD.

This may not seem like that big of a deal, but let me clarify by saying I am shy, and would never have: A) invited a guy I barely know to go anywhere, and B) given out my phone number to a guy I have a crush on with out him asking.

While this awkward dialogue is happening externally there is an internal dialogue where I am yelling at myself to STOP. I quickly redacted with, "Wait, let me give you my friends number instead…"

More silence… Then someone else started talking, and he never asked for the number. So I slipped out of there as fast as I could, trying not to think about what had just happened.

The next morning before boating I went to breakfast with a friend, telling her all about the "incident". We were laughing hysterically and then my phone rings with some random number…

"Hello"

"Hi Miss, this is Ryan Wesley Peterson..."

I was shocked: he got my number somehow and ended up coming out on the boat. The whole time we were staring at one another, just awestruck by the other. My friend teases me still about that day on the boat because of how gaga we were.

So we started to talk and spend time together. He was perfect to me.

Ryan was playing in a touring band at the time and was frequently out of town so in the beginning, before we "officially" started dating, we spent a lot of time on the phone. We would talk for hours about everything. I have never been able to talk to anyone like that. He came into town and asked me out on a date. On October 2nd 2007, we had our first date. He picked me up and we walked all over Portland, talking, laughing, going on little adventures. It was cold but I didn't notice. We went to the Ace hotel and snuck up onto the fourth story fire escape and talked forever. Our date lasted something like 10 hours.

Everything was so… EASY. On october 4th, Ryan asked me to be his girlfriend and the next day he left for a two month long tour.

For those two months we learned about each other over phone, email, and iChat. I saw that he was a man that pursued and loved God with all his heart. His life reflected that. He was the first person I met that truly had a servants heart. I was so impressed by his character the more I got to know him. He was someone I looked up to, respected and wanted to follow. I was falling in love. Sometime during mid-november he became a little distant, the emails started to become sparse and phone chats weren't as long. My 22nd birthday was the 14th and he didn't really mention it so I convinced myself that I was about to be broken up with.

Two days later I got a HUGE box in the mail, and as I opened it I cried… It was filled with 22 different gifts specifically picked out to show that He knew me. He had studied me. Each item came with a page long hand written letter explaining the item and what it meant. The packaging he used to keep everything safe was a hundred pages with "Im crazy about you" written over and over. He KNEW me.

Right then and there, with tears on my cheeks, I knew Ryan was my husband. I wrote in my journal that night, " I want a love story written by Love Himself. I love him, I am crazy about him. I would marry him if You led and he asked. Thank you Father for your sweet grace and your love for me through Ryan."

He came home for thanksgiving and told me he loved me. I loved him back.

On April 1st he asked me to marry him on that same fourth story fire escape at the Ace hotel.

On July 26th 2008, The day I became his wife, I wrote these scriptures in my journal:

"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11-12.

"So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let no man separate" Matthew 19:6

"You shall fear the Lord your God; you shall serve Him and cling to Him, and you shall swear by His name. He is your praise and He is your God, who has these great and awesome things for you which your eyes have seen." Deuteronomy 10:20-21

In November of 2010, God gave us the sweetest gift: our son, Truman.

And now we have another little one on the way!

Ryan is the answer to my prayers. He covers me the way that Jesus does. He sees me as new and God has used him as a part of my redemption, and continues to use Him. He is my best friend, my lover and the most special surprise of my life. A covering of grace. As with the others, God wrote our love story (I know that there is no possible way I could have). I am so thankful for Ryan and for our life together. We are continuing to learn about one another and grow together. We have been married for almost four years and I fall more in love with him, I deeply respect who he is. I discover more each day that he is  what I need. Our marriage is filled with times of bliss and joy and fun and times of sharpening, failing, repenting and learning. We are by no means perfect but I know that we are growing more in God's likeness.

Waiting for the person you marry looks different for everyone. Some people get married young, some when they are older. Some people date and marry one person. Some date a few before they get married. Some people don't get married. Everyone comes from unique walks of life. So of course, all the stories of waiting, falling in love and getting married and living life look different. When it is right, the common thread is that God is Author. And in the waiting for the desires of your heart, it is vital to allow Him to prepare you, learning to find satisfaction in Jesus alone.

"Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord." Psalm 27:14

Kaitlynn