“The Name of the LORD is a strong tower;

The righteous runs into it and is safe.”

Proverbs 18:10

(source)

The Meaning of His Name:

In ancient Israel men and women often spent their days toiling in the fields surrounding their towns.  While sweating under the sweltering Mesopotamian sun, they kept a wary eye out for enemies whose antics threatened their survival.   In the time of the Judges, the beleaguered nation suffered for seven consecutive years from these invaders who would sweep in at harvest time to steal a season’s worth of supplies.  On their great lumbering camels, armed bohemian bandits overwhelmed the Jewish farmers, seriously jeopardizing their fight to survive. Year after year, hard working mothers and fathers watched in tears while their children were reduced to poverty because of these invaders.

Do you know how that feels?

Has an unexpected illness or a failed relationship stolen your future?

Have your dreams been swept away by the enemy?

Have you forgotten what it is to feel safe and secure?

Are you worried?

In answer to their dilemna, the men of the town would painstakingly build a tower out of mud bricks right in the middle of their village. It became a central defense fortress against these inevitable invaders. When the watchman sounded his alarm, the people would run into the strong tower and wait out the invasion. Supplied with food and water and their stored harvest, they could outlast their enemies, eventually emerging safely when the enemy rode away empty handed.

God gave Himself a name just for you: Migdal-oz. He is a Strong Tower.

Someone you can run into in times of fear or insecurity or doubt.

A place to hide.

A safe place.

But strong towers were not all that easy to enter.  There was always just one accessible opening through which the pursued could run.  No one stumbled in these ancient strongholds by accident. Once in, with great relief, the victim could bolt the door and live off a storage room of supplies until the danger passed.

Running into God as your Strong Tower is a purposeful, intentional plan of action. He wants us to run into Him before we try fighting back, before we wound with our words, before the enemy of our souls has a chance to destroy the harvest of our lives in one fell swoop.

Do you see why He calls Himself by such a name?

Are you learning the way into His refuge, heading there at the slightest hint of trouble?

Have you discovered yet that He is…a Strong Tower?

From my heart,

Diane

Psalm 61

2 Samuel 22- This is a beautiful song David wrote after he’d been safely delivered from a giant with six fingers on each hand and six toes on his feet. No sooner was the monster, Raphah defeated, when David was all but overcome by another massive warrior wielding an intimidating sword weighing 300 shekels (that’s a seven and a half pound sword!) Several of David’s friends saw what was happening and intervened to rescue David in one triumphant show of solidarity. Sounds like the kind of deliverance we all need at those overwhelming times of our lives!

Remember when I told you that God-centered exercise has an element of holiness to it?  My prayer is that you’ve experienced this holiness first-hand as you’ve practiced honoring God with your body.  In the off chance that you still think I’m crazy, I decided to share an old story with you that happened more than two years ago.  It was a holy moment and I hope it encourages you.

•••

I came home from a photo shoot with my kids (ranging in age from 3 to 7 years) promising to NEVER go anywhere with them again.  My wise husband urged me to put on my running shoes and trade the madness for some time with God.  I mapped out a ten-mile loop on the mountain behind our house and took off.

I cranked my worship music and started climbing, cresting the first peak around the three-mile mark.  The road turned to gravel and dropped down into a serene mountain valley.  As the forest closed in around me, I turned off my music to revel in the solitude.

My feet crunched the gravel in a rhythmic cadence. The delicious smell of leaves burning wafted through the air.  Birds serenaded me.  A mountain creek babbled.  Dogs barked and horses whinnied.  In the distance, saws squealed and hammers pounded. The cacophony of sound somehow sounded harmonious.

I turned off the gravel road and started a second and much larger climb.  I labored up the mountain, with each step exchanging frustration for peace.  When I finally emerged from the woods, I gasped at majestic Mt. Hood.  Cloaked in clouds, fog, and the last rays of sunlight, she towered in the distance grandly keeping watch over the tiny foothill I was climbing.

The wind that whispered gently at the start of my run increased in intensity as it whistled then whipped through the trees.  Branches danced to its melody and as I crested the final peak, I could see and feel the storm rolling in. I paused briefly at the summit to soak in the panoramic view of valleys, vineyards, forest and distant snow-capped peaks before starting my steep and fast descent.

The storm chased me down the mountain.  Friction from the road heated the bottom of my shoes.  Wind-induced tears rolled down my face and dried before I could wipe them away.  The trees sang as I raced down, down, down to the safety of my home below.  As our neighborhood came into view, I felt the first drop of rain on my face. My legs were tight, new blisters were forming on my toes, and my fingers were ice cold, but my soul was refreshed.

I couldn't help but think of the time Elijah felt abandoned, scared and alone. God told him, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." (Read I Kings 19 for the whole story.)  Elijah expected God to reveal Himself in the wind, earthquake, and fire, but the LORD chose a soft and gentle whisper to assure Elijah of His love and remind him of his purpose.

The LORD passed by me on my run. He whispered “You are not alone” in the thick forest.  He displayed His power in majestic Mt. Hood. He used the trees to sing me a love song. He dried my tears with the wind.  He restored my soul. The LORD passed by.

•••

• Will you share your the LORD passed by moment with us?  Email your story to hespeaks@ajesuschurch.org.  We want to hear from you.

• Make sure to tune in next week for information on what to expect on race day.

• Mark your calendar to volunteer at The Portland Running Company on Friday, June 10^th, any time between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m.  You have to pick up your packet.  Why not stay and volunteer?  If you can help, please email hespeaks@ajesuschurch.org and we’ll get you connected.

• We will have a tent set up on race morning.  Plan to come a little early to meet other athletes who have been training and pick up your Not Your Own wristband.

• Hang in there.  The end is in sight.  You can do it!

Persevering With You,

Jodi

…He Commands the Morning

Job 38:12

(source)

The dark hour before dawn wrapped its silence around me as I burrowed deeper beneath the comforter.  Mmh… that luscious sense of waking early, only to realize I can luxuriate in a couple more hours of sleep…ahh…sleep.

Then a whisper echoing over the silence,

Come

Blinking open sleep encrusted eyes, I peek out of my warm nest into the darkness.

Come!

This time I raise my head. Did someone call my name?  Who could be up?  My husband’s steady snoring assured me it wasn’t him.  Mmh…My imagination of course, a dream perhaps…back to sleep.

Come!

This time I startled awake.  What?  Who?

Come, My beloved.  Come meet with Me.

Could I be hearing right?  Could this inexplicable voice be my Lord’s?  Was He calling me to come to Him?

As I lay there wondering, I heard it one more time.

Come.

Reluctance fled and with it all sense of sleepiness.  Throwing back the covers, I padded downstairs with my heart pounding in anticipation.  What did He want?  Why would He wake me?  Was this real or was I going crazy?

Within moments I had my answers.

God wanted me.  He wanted me to be with Him.  And what’s more, He wanted to be with me. Just be.  Not to read my Bible, not to pray, not to do anything at all. Just be.

Curled up in the corner of the sofa, my Bible open on my lap, a steaming mug of tea in hand, He spoke to my heart.  Words of wisdom, words of delight poured over my heart that morning.  I felt lavished in His love.  Surrounded.  He simply wanted me.

And He still does.

“My heart has heard You say,

“Come and talk with Me.”

My heart responds ,

“Lord, I am coming.”

May your mornings be filled with the conversation.

From my heart,

Diane

For weeks now we have been talking about this insidious, all-too-pervasive problem of anger in our children. We have recognized our own anger and learned when to not discipline because our own emotions are not under control. We have taken a long hard look at how God views outbursts of anger. And we’ve examined the inner workings of our lifestyle; those patterns we have fallen into that might provoke our poor kids to acting out of frustration at a too busy, too stressed, too messy life.

Now its time to get serious.

After all you’ve done to rework your own attitude and schedule, restructuring your home in such a way as to give your young children the best possible environment for success, Johnny gets mad. So mad that he throws himself on the floor, flinging toys and flailing limbs in a grand display of fury. What now?

Spank him.

This is the way of Scripture. It is the way of wisdom. And it works— eventually.

Now, I first have to qualify what a spanking is not.

What a spanking is not:

• A spanking is not a swat on the behind.

To go after your child with your hand raised in a force-filled display of adult power is not a biblical spanking! That’s hitting. That’s what a bully does.

• A spanking is not a last resort when all else fails.

Repeated warnings and time outs and yelling and scolding that eventually escalates to spanking is a dangerous use of discipline. Your child will not have any idea when “enough is enough” if you randomly reach for the next most forceful means of conveying your displeasure.

A wise parent matches the appropriate discipline to the behavior of the child.

• A spanking is not child abuse.

Nor is it illegal. A calm, loving, thought-through spanking is not out of control or damaging. It does not cause harm to the child— either emotionally or physically.

• A spanking is not random.

It is planned, explained, and anticipated as a direct result of disobedience.

• A spanking is not public.

A carefully processed spanking is private, between parent and child. It should be done behind closed doors with a minimum of fuss. It should never be used to shame your child, nor should it ever be done in front of others. Better to by-pass the needed spanking than to spank in a public place.

• A spanking is not corporal punishment.

A biblical spanking is not punishment at all. A punishment is giving someone what he or she deserves. To discipline is a form of training your child to respond in the right way— the way that will bring blessing into his or her life.

So, you’re not going to chase your child down, or swat his diaper protected little behind, or give him “what he deserves”. Instead, you are going to spank him.

How to spank:

• Identify what you will use to spank with.

Never use your hand. I want my hands to be used to comfort and calm, not to cause pain. That brief moment it takes to go and get the “spanking spoon”, gives you a few seconds to ask yourself if this spanking is being done in careful love.

• Find a private place.

Go to a quiet room away from others, close the door, and begin the process.

• Use concise, clear words to explain.

For very young children, the less words, the better. “No temper” is easily understood. An older child needs some explanation. But avoid a scolding at this point. You’ve already decided to spank him, keep shame away.

• Ask him to tell you why you are spanking him. Be specific.

It is important that you are sure you’ve communicated your heart to your child. If he thinks you are spanking him because you’re mad, then no heart change will happen on his part. He might not agree with you, but at least prompt him to identify why you have chosen to spank him.

• Three swats are plenty.

Less is more when it comes to a spanking. What you want is a soft, sorry child, not a terrified child writhing in pain.

• Gather him close.

When the spanking is over, draw him into your embrace and kiss his tears away. Cuddle, soothe, and rock him gently as his crying subsides. If he draws away from you, pull him back and tell him he must come into your embrace. Train him that this is a part of the process whether he wants it or not. You are giving him what he needs.

• Pray a blessing on him.

This is a time to thank God out loud for all the things you love about this child He has created. It is a time to believe with God in your child. Do not pray worried, scolding prayers in front of your child, lest he think God is mad at him. Save those for later when you are alone and crying out for wisdom.

• It’s done!

Never mention it again. Tell you husband privately so he gets a glimpse into the patterns you are dealing with, but don’t make this into a big family discussion. Your child sinned; you spanked him, and now its over.

That’s just how God disciplines us, and He calls it GRACE.

From my heart,

Diane

The best book I know about biblical discipline is Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp. He thoroughly explains the why’s and how’s of spanking and the processes involved in shaping your child’s heart.

“Trust in the Lord forever,

For in God the LORD

We have an everlasting Rock

Isaiah 26:4

(source)

The Meaning of His Name:

At 5:08 on October 17th, 1989 an immense earthquake rocked our home in Santa Cruz, California.

The walls in the hallway seemed to bash into me as I scrambled to find my children. We huddled in a doorway watching pictures fly off the walls while hutches fell, plates crashed, and havoc reigned. When it was over we-tip toed our way barefoot through a living room strewn with shards of glass, desperate to flee the destruction in our home.

Outside, the news was not good.  Whole buildings had collapsed in the downtown area; bridges as far away as San Francisco had become tombs and people had died.

Yet our house still stood. Aside from a few broken pieces, damage was minimal.  Less than a mile from the epicenter, our little wood frame cottage held up admirably.

Why?

We were built on a rock.

Apparently, a solid ledge of basalt held our home tight throughout the thunderous shaking while buildings and bridges built on sandy loam collapsed like cards.

Just like God, the Rock.

When the houses we call our lives are built on God, the unpredictable events that rattle our realities will not collapse us. But if instead, we see a nice stretch of sandy soil and build our lives conveniently there, then when the earth shakes we get entrapped in the terror.

And the earth will shake, my dear friends!  Plates shift, pressure builds, and unforeseen circumstances change everything. That’s just the way it is down here in this place we call the real world.

What kind of soil are you building your family on?

Your relationships?

Your worth?

Just a couple of days ago I got one of those phone calls none of us much like. Someone close to me, someone I love a lot, was calling to let me know I’d let her down. I’d inadvertently embarrassed this dear friend in one of those flinging sentences that mean so little and hurt so much.

And now she was calling to let me know.

On my side of the AT&T airwaves I cowered a bit, shrinking from that mix of hurt and anger in her voice.

My bright day dimmed.

My heart cringed.

In the space of a few seconds, I started to sink.

The next couple of irretrievable hours were entirely devoted to picking up the pieces of own tumultuous emotions. Anger- how could she so misinterpret me? Embarrassment- how could I have missed that? Shame- what must she think of me? And rejection- will she love me now?

Notice the common denominator in all my questions— ME!

Suddenly I’d become the epicenter of my world and one good shake of disapproval knocked me flat.

Will I ever learn?

If, like me, you find yourself emotionally messed up by something so simple as a little bit of well-earned disapproval, or even an unjust criticism, maybe its time to ponder the problem.

Could it be that you need and want and crave approval so much that you’re building your emotional house on something you actually have very little control over?

That morning’s melt down made me think and pray long and hard about my own inordinate cravings for approval.

And here’s what I’ve come up with...

I am not the center of my world. And I do mess up. And people will disapprove. And sometimes they’ll even call on a sunny Saturday morning to tell me about it.

But if God is really my Rock, then when real life shakes me up, this little cottage I call me will hold firm.

Picking up a few broken pieces of my still unstable heart,

Diane

Psalm 40

Psalm 144:1-2, 7-10

Isaiah 26:1,2

Psalm 95:1

Matthew 7:24-29

Last night as I was falling asleep I told myself I’d run a 10k this morning instead of my usual 4-mile loop.  I woke to a cold, foggy morning and a lazy attitude.  It’s amazing how quickly I came up with reasons why I should NOT follow through on my plan.  Even when I was in my running gear, headphones in place and at my imaginary starting line, I tried to talk myself out of exercising. It came down to obedience – I am not my own. I took captive the defeating thoughts and shoved off for my run.  As I ran I prayed, and my soul connected with my Savior.  Wind in my hair and feet flying down the rolling country road, I felt my spirit soar.  For those moments, my body and mind were free from the weight of day-to-day life. It was exhilarating.

This week I read Psalm 119 slowly and deliberately and was surprised by the underlying theme of action.  The author uses verbs like obey, meditate, follow, memorize and seek to describe his pursuit of God.  Verse 32 says,  “I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free." My immediate thought was, “This author was a runner.  That’s exactly how I feel when I run!”

When I obey Jesus, when I mediate on His word like the psalmist says and follow in the path of His commands, life feels free and unencumbered even in the face of suffering or trials.  When I try to power through life on my own, wandering far from the pathway of Jesus’ commands, I find myself encumbered by disobedience and weighted down by sin.  Stumbling through life is exhausting.  Running isn’t even an option.

As I reflected on this passage, I realized I wanted to be reminded of the joy that comes from running the race of life with my heart set free.  I pictured a little girl half running/half dancing down a sunlit, wooded path.  Hair flying, arms flailing, huge smiling proclaiming, “I am free!” I used my daughter as my model and brought this vision to life.  We blew up the photo, wrote the text from Psalm 119:32 on the mat, and hung it in our house.  Every time I see it, I smile.

You may have joined Not Your Own as an established runner seeking friendship or as a non-athlete looking for motivation to start moving forward. Wherever you are on your journey, my prayer for you is that your heart will be set free today as you run in the path of God’s commands.

Persevering with you,

Jodi

Now for a few logistics…

• There has been a ton of interest in wearing something on race day that identifies the Not Your Own group.  Bright red wristbands are being made for each Not Your Own athlete.  We hope you wear them proudly on race day.
• Mark your calendar for Friday, June 10th.  Race packets will be available for pick-up at the Scholls Ferry Road location of the Portland Running Company and Paula Harkin, race coordinator, needs our help.  She’s asking for volunteers in groups of 3-4 to work the tables and hand out race packets to participants.  Hours she needs to cover are from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.  If you are available to help with this effort, please email hespeaks@ajesuschurch.org.  We’d love to have a big Not Your Own representation bring the practical love of Jesus to the Portland Running Company staff.

“Stop weeping- behold the Lion…has overcome.”

Revelations 5:5

Meaning of His Name:

John was tough. A strong, can-do kind of man.  Raised on the rustic shores of the Sea of Galilee, he followed his father into the backbreaking work of wrestling fish from those harrowing waters.  There, in teams of five, men cast enormous nets, hoping to earn enough to pay the brokers (called tax-collectors or publicans) and to have enough left over to feed their families. Not exactly the sort of work for touchy-feely sensitivity! Yet this man, whose ferocious reputation earned him the nickname “Son of Thunder”, would one day be selected by God to inscribe that wildly apocalyptic book we call Revelation.

In the fifth chapter of his spellbinding story, John saw something that left him shaking in his boots. Something terrifying. Something so hopeless and so real that he couldn’t speak—something really bad.

He saw the end of the world.

As John stared hopelessness in the face, he began to cry. To weep.  To choke on the loss of dreams and the end of everything and everyone he loved.

And all of heaven wept with him.

Do you know how he felt?  Have your dreams been crushed?

Has your story ended before it had a chance to happen as you so hoped it would? Are you agonizing over a picture so bleak you cannot face reality?

Or even just worried that the grey will go on for the rest of your life?

As all of heaven and earth gathered to gawk at John’s vision of disaster, the silence of sheer terror choked the air.

And no one knew what to do.

They were mortified.  Without solutions.

Lost.

But in that thunderous silence a sound was heard.  Faint at first, just enough to make everyone hold their breath in hope. The noise drew nearer, closer to the crowd.  And suddenly, there He was.

The Lion.

Jesus.  God.  The Savior.  The only one able to overcome.

And the Lion became a Lamb… and the Lamb laid Himself on the altar… and let Himself be slain.

John’s tears dried as he watched in wonder as angels and creatures and elders and people by the thousands and thousands sang. The singing rose to triumphant shouting and victorious dancing, gathering each one into a worship of such passion that every part of their bodies were enveloped. Then, one by one, they fell on their faces before the beauty of what they were seeing.

The world gone wild in worship.

Why? What caught them so?

Here’s what I see:

when the hopelessness of their reality hit them full in their faces,

and there seemed no way out,

the One who could have

but shouldn’t have,

the perfect One,

stepped in to do what no one else could.

Are you watching?  Listening for the Lion who comes close?

You’ll find him at the Cross when you lay all those burdens and worries and impossibilities at the feet of the only One in all the world capable of doing what no one else can.

For He is…. the Lion.

From My Heart,

Diane

Revelation 5

Amos 3:6-8

John 3:16

Matthew 11:28-30

I John 4:14

Hey Ladies. Can I let you in on a secret? You’re more than halfway done with your training. Can you believe that?  Way to go!  If you’re anything like me, the euphoria of your newfound athleticism has long since faded and the prospect of grinding out another five weeks of disciplined training sounds exhausting, not exhilarating. Now is the time when the rubber meets the road.  It is so tempting to give in to exhaustion and boredom and bail out on the training plan.  I talked to a lady, scheduled to run her first marathon, at a runner’s expo last weekend.  When I asked her if she stuck to her longer weekend training runs, she hesitated and then said, “Well… I didn’t like wasting four hours of my weekend running all those extra miles so I stopped.  I’ve run a half-marathon before so I figured I can run half and walk the other and I’ll still eventually cover the distance.” I’d be shocked if that woman made it to the finish line.

If you allow yourself to opt out of finishing your training schedule because you’re tired or it’s raining or the long distances are boring, you are setting yourself up for major fatigue and possible injury.  Allow that line of reasoning to permeate the way you think and you could easily talk yourself out of showing up on race day.  A quitter’s mentality is so defeating.

But you’re not a Quitter. You stick it out because you are Not Your Own. You were bought at a price, one paid with blood.  When the going gets tough, the tough get going and you are Tough.  You hold true to the commitments you make because you are not an Aimless Runner –you run to get the prize.  You see clearly in your mind’s eye a toned athlete running (in slow motion of course) victoriously toward the finish line.  The crowd chants your name while you, arms pumping, sweat beading, feet flying, sprint toward the finish line tape.  You are a Finisher.

The path we allow our minds to travel often dictates, for better or worse, how we feel. II Corinthians 10:5 says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” I love the aggressive, battle-lines language that Paul uses.  He writes from an offensive position, “demolishing” arguments and “taking captive” every thought that would dare to come against the knowledge of God.

I like to pair II Corinthians 10:5 with Philippians 4:8 where Paul says, “Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” We capture the negative, defeating lies and replace them with positive, victorious truth.

What does this look like?

• “It’s raining and cold.  I’d love to skip my workout,” becomes “It’s raining and cold outside.  Won’t that shower feel wonderful when I’m done with my workout?”
• “I still have 3 miles to go and I’m dying.  Maybe I’ll turn around early,” becomes “I refuse to cave in to mental peer pressure.  I will finish this distance.  I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

Not convinced?  Listen to these stories from the front lines.

Rachael says, “This past January, I started a journey to lose 60-70 pounds and to get healthy.  I seem to think in my brain that there aren’t a lot of 26-year-olds who need to lose this much weight.  I prayed Jesus would break the chains that have held me down far too long. Something I’ve been learning is that while I’m Not My Own, I’m also not ON my own.  There are others around me, supporting me, keeping me accountable, and encouraging me.  Almost 50 pounds later, my weight loss goal is only 10-20 pounds away!  As I run 3-4 times a week and attempt to not look like a fool in the gym, I find that the physical discipline is transferring to the spiritual.  Be encouraged.  Wherever you are, God’s grace will see you through.”

Carissa (my running partner and friend) and I ran the Eugene half-marathon last weekend.  Before the race, we prayed together asking Jesus to be glorified in our bodies and in our minds as we ran.  We ran fast and strong and when we got tired, we chanted to ourselves, “I am Not My Own.” Even better, we both broke our previous personal best times!

Alisa says on her personal blog, “Here’s one very important thing to know about me:  I am a quitter.  I can think of very few times in my life where I set my mind to do something and actually saw it through to completion.

In the case of Not Your Own I am quite literally surrounded by a cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 12:1).  My body and my spirit cannot be separated – I am one being, created by God for His glory and His purposes.  So I signed up to run, not walk, the whole 13 miles.  I am determined.  This time, I am going to see something through to the end.

I ran 6.5 slow and steady miles last week and as I ran, I thought through the reasons I am running:

• I am running to get into shape.  My body isn’t nearly as healthy as it should be and I want to be strong and fit.
• I am running to look good for my husband.  Call me shallow, but I want to fit back into my favorite jeans without having to camouflage my lovely muffin tops.
• I am running because it gives me a few moments to be alone, pray, worship, think and listen without the constant noise and needs of two little kids.
• I am running, if for no other reason, out of obedience.  God’s Word instructs me to glorify God in my body (I Corinthians 6:20) and to be disciplined and self-controlled (Galatians 5:22).  I know that if God says it, it has good purpose.  I want whatever He has for me.  I want to run my race.

I am halfway to a goal that stills feels daunting, but no longer impossible.”

Like Alisa, you are halfway to a goal that still feels daunting, but is no longer impossible.  Are you ready to enter the battlefield, demolish strongholds, and take your thoughts captive?   Claim the truth of Philippians 4:13 in your life – “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” and keep persevering all the way to the finish.

Persevering with you,

Jodi

Dear Daughters-of-My-Heart:

I’ve spent the morning puttering around my house; cleaning and folding, tidying and wiping, doing all those hidden things no one sees— those things that turn these walls and windows and floors into a welcoming place. A home.

And as I’ve puttered, I’ve had you on my heart. Watching out the window as the rain comes, the wind whipping blossoms off trees, this ache pushes deep. The Father washes His world fresh and clean and I want that for you. Every one of you.

I see the pain flit across your face when words like purity and virgin and love get said. I watch your hope dim. Your body slid deep into your coat as if it could cover what you’ve lost.

I ache because I hear your cries in the night.

Somewhere long ago you let yourself wish a lie. If only I give him all of me, he’ll give me all his heart forever…

And you did… but he didn’t.

And now you’ve spent it all on something you can’t take back and if wishing worked, you’d wish it all away. The pain, the loss, the choice you made. All those wishes in the night.

And oh how I hurt for your pain. How I wish it would all go away.

And as I wish, I pray. I talk…alone at my sink, this sacred place…to the Father who knew what you were doing and why. The One who whispered in your ear. The One who knows.

And we talk, He and I, about all that pain, while I pull apples from the fridge and ponder what to do with those shriveled skins— throw them away? Waste the fruit? Wishing I’d tasted that sweet flesh while they were fresh and ripe.

And He shows me then, just what He has in mind. For you. And for my near-done apples.

My son will be home soon, I realize, while I peel and scrape and cut away the black parts. Won’t he love the scent? He’ll bound his way into my workspace, wrap those arms around my back, and let me know he knows I did this all for him.

Just like the Father is doing all for you.

You’ve said your sorry’s, wept your tears, and He knows. And now He’s busy in His workroom too. Adding a pinch of salt to bring the flavors back, a bit of spice, a lot of sweet.  Chopping the bits all small and soft, mixing it up, bringing it in. Washing all those ugly parts away.

That’s His way.

He calls Himself a potter and you the clay. He molds and mixes. Wasting nothing.

Building beauty out of mud.

I chop some more, add a hint of lemon. Sour, yes, but something inside ignites the faded flavors to what they ought to be. I don’t know why, but it works. Always.

The bowl is full. I mix and scoop and turn it over and over again. Breaking clumps, spreading flavor, beating the mess. And I pray for you.

This mixing hurts.

Then I top it off. With good things swirled, I cover my mess of used up apples with what can only be called grace. The part everyone wants, heaped high. Crunchy, buttered, sugared things that will melt into deliciousness done right.

Into the hot oven I slide it. Shut the door. Set the timer. Forty-five minutes and then some. I’ll check it from time to time just to be sure its not too hot. Just warm enough to meld those lovely things...

into what they’re supposed to be.

Matt comes home just before its done. Says all those things boy-men say about scents and starving and best-moms-in-the-world. And I smile real big. My boy. I made it for my boy.

He doesn’t know about the shriveled skins and blackened holes. Those are gone now, washed away down deep. He tastes the beauty of my artistry, relishing each bite as my love to him. Mom’s love.

And so, dear girls, does He. My Father- yours!

He mixes and He adds and He knows just how. Then He jumbles it all ‘round and you don’t know why.

But He does. He really does.

Then the heat hurts bad. And you hear and you feel and you ache as you melt. And He watches close just then. The Master at work. Hoping, looking, checking again and again.

And someday, dear girls-of-my-heart, He’ll pull you out all warm and soft and sweet again.

He’ll make you what you never could have been before. A gift. A grace.

A love from Him to someone.

From my heart,

Diane

For I am confident of this very thing,

That He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

For it is only right for me to feel this way about you all,

Because I have you in my heart… you are all partakers of grace with me.

For God is my witness how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.

And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

Philippians 1:6-11

I do believe, Lord help my unbelief…

The Meaning of His Name:

Thomas was a close-in follower of Jesus.  He’d spent lots and lots of time with Him; shared meals, inside jokes, intimate unveiling of souls.  He’d watched Jesus decimate spiritual snobs and lend dignity to a prostitute. He’d felt the rush of joy as a little boy climbed out of his closed coffin. Thomas had seen the tears He’d wept over the lost-ness of wayward people.

But when push came to shove, Thomas walked away.

When Jesus told his disciples to believe in Him, He wasn’t referring to their intellectual ability to grasp reality. Nor was He asking them to drum up a mass of misguided emotion in order to feel something.

Instead, He reached into the simple vocabulary of everyday people and drew out a word that in English carries rich connotations.  To believe (pisteuo), means to entrust yourself to someone.  It is a word that implies obedience.

He was asking His followers to fall back in faith and completely entrust their lives to Him.

And He hasn’t stopped asking.  What He still wants from each of His followers is all tied up in this name: Lord.

Do you get that?

Not just warm-fuzzy, nice and cozy friend.

He is Lord!

He wants to own you.

He wants to dictate your days, rule over your relationships, and heap the riches of His kingdom on your life.

Okay, you say, I’m going to do better today, I promise. Today I’ll obey.  I’ll be good.  I know what He’s asking of me and I’m gonna do it, yes I am!

But you won’t.  Not a chance.

And here’s why—you keep trying to obey without believing.

Of course you fail! The minute He asks something of you that seems unreasonable, something that you cannot analyze or categorize— something that wiggles your soul out of the status quo, you bail.

Like turning the other cheek.  Like submitting to your not-always-nice husband or boss or teacher or dad. Like giving instead of grabbing.  Like loving instead of walking away.

Without faith, without intensive entrusting of every facet of yourself to Him

you cannot,

will not,

won’t

allow Him to be Lord of your life.

His Lordship rides on the back of His love for you, my friend.  Will you entrust your mind, your heart, your very soul to that love?

After all, Jesus is…Lord.

From my heart,

Diane

Mark 16:14

John 20:19-29

John 6:22-30

Hebrews 11

(source)

The unanticipated theme of this year for our family has been Managing the Chaos. Since school started this fall Curt and I have fought to manage our personal schedules, our family schedule, our time together as a couple, and our time with our kids.  We've had periods of balance but the majority of this school year I've been functioning on the brink of Could I Be Any More Overwhelmed.  It's not a place I like to be.

Earlier this month, one of our pastors was preaching from I Corinthians 9:24-27.  It's a passage I love because Paul uses the analogy of running.  He says, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.  Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly..."

Duh. I seldom go for a run, long or short, without mapping out my course ahead of time.  I know how far I'm going to run, what route I'm going to take, and the hills and terrain challenges I'll face.  Unless I'm injured, I don't sway from the course. The few times I've skipped mapping my run ahead of time have resulted in disaster.  Inevitably I'll run too far, take too long and send Curt into a panic, or strain something from running a distance my body isn’t equipped to handle.

I found a can't-live-without resource. It allows me to plot my exact course, tells me total distance covered, tracks elevation gain and loss, and even has a place to mark where to take a potty break.  I'm not sure how I ever trained successfully before I found this website.

I started this school year with a rough draft of the route I wanted to run this year, but unexpected challenges and extra miles I didn't plan on forced me way off course.  Somewhere along the line I lost focus and began running aimlessly.  No wonder I've been so exhausted and crippled in my attempts to rein in the chaos.  I haven't taken time to turn around, come home, recoup from my "injuries" and chart a new course.

But how do I do that? Phil said, "Don't ask what can I say no to.  Instead ask what am I called to say YES to." That one sentence brought the clarity I've been fumbling for and changed the way I evaluated my schedule challenges.  I've been saying no to some really great things, but I haven't been evaluating what I'm saying yes to in light of my calling.

I sat down with Jesus and we had a heart-to-heart.  I pointed out all the things I've said no to and threw myself a little party. The celebration lasted two seconds because the next thing I did was write down all the things I've said yes to.  As the list got longer and longer it became evident that some of the yes items didn't match my calling.  It was a total bummer.  I liked those activities.  A lot.  I didn't want to give them up, but I knew it was what I needed to do to run a focused race for this season in my life.

I John 5:3 says, "This is love for God: to obey his commands.  And His commands are not burdensome." I needed to obey God and make those "I'm sorry but I have to say no" phone calls.  It felt like a huge sacrifice, but the encouragement that my obedience demonstrated my love for God gave me the courage to pick up the phone.

It's been three weeks since I made those phone calls and it's taken every day of those three weeks to tame my crazy life. My schedule, for the first time in months, is finally free enough for me to say yes to the things God has called me to.  Praise the Lord, I am no longer running aimlessly.  This chica is running in a such a way as to get the prize!

Persevering With You,

Jodi

PS: We would still love to hear your stories! Send them to hespeaks@ajesuschurch.org.

“Who touched Me?”

Luke 8:45

“Jesus traveled through all the cities and villages of that area, teaching in the synagogues and announcing the Good News about the Kingdom.

And wherever He went, He healed people of every sort of disease and illness. He felt great pity for the crowds that came, because their problems were so great and they didn’t know where to go for help. They were like sheep without a shepherd.”

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Matthew 9:35-36

Meaning of His Name:

As Jesus and His disciples pushed their way through a crowd of insistent well-wishers, one woman reached out to Him to brush the hem of His coat with her fingers. A whisper of desperation in a life gone wrong. Her ailment eluded the experts and alienated her family.

Do you know how she felt?  Alone, desolate, on the edge of despair?

Maybe its time you did something about it.  You see, Jesus did go about healing people overwhelmed by sin sickness, and He hasn’t stopped.  Sure, their bodies presented the problem upfront; deafness, blindness, people paralyzed, and lame.  He healed diseases that ate away at bodies and illnesses that devoured minds. And somehow, in every encounter, He got to the heart of the problem.  He asked if they really wanted to be healed.

Do you?  Are you sure?

Freedom from sin and healing from debilitating disease comes at a cost. Jesus didn’t just randomly go around healing folks.  He studied His subjects carefully before He allowed His power to penetrate their lives.  He knew the price they would pay for wholeness.  And He knows that most of us get mighty comfortable propped up in our bed of weakness.  Our identity, our energy, our attention, our reason to connect gets all wrapped up in the throbbing pain that defines our existence. Without that what is left? Without my problem, who am I?

So I echo the words of the Great Physician: What do you want?

If you are absolutely certain that you want out from that sin-disease that entangles you, then by all means, go to Him.

Push through every obstacle,

get up as close as you can,

and grab hold of the hem of His garment.

And then never, ever let Him go.

For He is….the great Physician.

From a heart that knows,

Diane

Luke 8:40-56

Matthew 10:34-39

Luke 7:1-9

Luke 7:10-17

Luke 7:22-23

James 5:13-16

Matthew 20:32, Mark 10:51,52, Luke 18:41-43

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I’d like to introduce you all to a very dear friend of mine. We met at the awkward age of 14 in the Middle of Nowhere, British Columbia.  Well, technically there was a town (Houston) within driving distance of Rock Nest Ranch, the camp my youth group was working at, and Melinda grew up there. We bonded scrubbing outhouses and cleaning dishes and spent the next three school years writing long epistles to each other and sending them to each other via snail mail.  We lived for the summers when my youth group would traverse the 1,000 miles north into British Columbia to spend six weeks working at camp.  Melinda and a handful of Houston residents would come out to work at the camp too and we vowed to remain “friends forever.”

(Melinda and I at camp when we first met)

“Forever” ended up being a year or two before we lost track of each other.  Seventeen years passed before we found each other on Facebook and we giggled as we exchanged long epistles, this time over email, catching each other up on our lives.  Melinda, like me, felt the big city calling her.  She fled from her small town and embraced life as a city girl.  Fancy coffee, shopping, and fine dining…  she was in heaven.  She swore there were three things she would never do: move back to Houston, get married, and have children.

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But God has a sense of humor and she fell in love with a high school classmate who makes his living logging the remote land surrounding Houston.  Love triumphed over city life and she found herself packing up, moving back to Houston, and marrying Ron.  Neither of them planned for children, but God gave them two sons in rapid-fire succession and they fell helplessly head-over-heels in love with Lucas (3 ½ years) and Ryan (1 ¾ years).

(Melinda, Ron, Lucus and Ryan)

The lesson here is “Never say never.”

In July 2010 one of the deepest fears of every mother became a reality for Melinda.  She was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.  It brings tears to my eyes just to write this, but Melinda has accepted this diagnosis with more grace and dignity than I knew was possible.  She has used the cancer as a chance to count her blessings and in the past nine months has been intentional about finding God’s blessing in even the simplest things.

She wrote me today to tell me she’s been following the posts on He Speaks in the Silence and was inspired to join us on our quest to better health.  I’ll let her share her heart with you.

“So… I am horribly out of shape.  I haven’t run since I was 7 months along with my FIRST child and he’s 3 ½ years old now.  I have spondylitis, arthritis and my core is so out of whack that if I lay down on my tummy, I stay there for hours.  And now I have cancer.

But after reading your blog, I got out and started moving.  I haven’t been able to run a lot, but have speed walked/jogged slow 19km total this week and will have 13 more before the week is done. I am going to run 10km by June 11^th, the way you girls are, I’ll just be doing it up here with the bears and deer instead of people.

I have lots of excuses.

• My husband is literally gone from 1 a.m. to 6 p.m. and when he is home, he wants to sleep.  I have very limited time without my kids to go out and run.
• The snow is still above my knees here and the highest temp we’ve had so far has been 41°F, but I am so excited to get on this.
• I am going to be sick and in treatment for a good two weeks before June.
• I have never been an athlete.  I am as uncoordinated as it comes.

Excuses schmexcuses…

A number of years ago I discovered I can jog and that God uses jogging to keep my body healthy.  But it also keeps my mind and soul healthy and I need that now more than ever.  In four years I’ll be 40.  I told Ron last night that maybe I’ll aim for a marathon at 40.  Who knows?

I am telling you, I WILL run 10 km on June 11^th with you girls.  Will you pray for me if you think of it?  I don’t want excuses to stop me.”

Girls, will you commit to pray that Melinda will feel our fellowship as she runs her 10K in the rugged mountains of northern British Columbia while we run the rolling hills outside Portland?  Since you’re before the throne of the Almighty God, will you also ask Him to rid her body of cancer and restore her to perfect health?

If Melinda can do it, so can you.  She’s extending her hand to you, from her couch to yours.  Won’t you grab it?

Persevering with You,

Jodi

Don't Forget:

1. Join Diane and I at the new runner's clinic this Tuesday night at 7pm at Portland Running Company (read more about it here)

2. Click the Join Us icon to the right of this post and let us know you are with us!

3. Register for the Helvetia 10k or half marathon (click here to register)

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“Let the words of Christ, in all their richness,

live in your hearts and make you wise…”

Colossians 3:16

(source)

The Meaning of His Name:

Words are powerful.

Words build up and words tear down.  Words lure open hearts and shut down relationships.  Words wound and words heal. Words alter everything.

But only Logos has the power to actually change us deep inside.

Jesus is Logos, a continuous stream of words and wisdom and hope and life pouring out of God’s heart. This logos of God is able to see through the façade of our inglorious attempts at being good, straight to our hearts.

He speaks and we are never the same.

Every day we have a chance to hear God.  He speaks directly through His Word— pages and pages of stories and shadows and truths and wisdom fraught with the power of His Voice. And He speaks indirectly as well— through the words of men and women of faith who have captured His words in their own lives and long to tell us how.

And every day we face a choice. Do we listen, or do we turn a deaf ear on all those streaming words? Do we trot on about our business, or do we pause and consider?

I, being deaf, know a little about not listening. In fact, even as I write these words, that little computer which keeps me connected to the world of the hearing is broken, rendering me completely and totally unable to hear even the slightest sound.

While I wait for a new cochlear to bring words once again through my ears, I have some choices to make. Will I still try to listen? Straining to see words formed on lips moving fast? Searching faces for clues? Connecting the bit of information I can come up with to decipher what is being said?

Or will I just shut it all out, wrap myself in my world gone silent, and go about my business… alone?

It’s not an easy choice, you know. To hear without ears is hard work. Exhausting. Draining. Embarrassing at times. Awkward.

The words are there, but is the effort to catch them worth it?

And, my dear listening sisters, is it worth it for you to strain and try and fail sometimes and then work again to hear the Voice of the One who calls Himself your Logos?

Or are you willing to give up and go about your days blundering through, all deaf to Him who calls you as His own, unable and unwilling to put out the effort to really hear?

He who has ears to hear, let him hear

~Jesus

From my heart,

Diane

John 1:1-4

Genesis 1:1-5

Hebrews 4:12

John 5:24-26

I Timothy 3:16

Psalm 119

James 1:22-25

My seven-year-old daughter Alli has a hard time staying focused. She’ll head up to her room after breakfast intent on completing her get-ready-for-school routine.  Before she goes upstairs, we run down the list of what she needs to accomplish: brush teeth, make bed, shower, get dressed, fix hair, read Bible. Most mornings she wants to be first in line at the bus stop, but other mornings she allows herself to get distracted.  It’s not that she wants to be late.  There are just too many other things, like doodling on a piece of notebook paper or spinning in circles in her bedroom, that are more appealing. She often loses sight of the goal – to catch the bus so she can go to school. Every five minutes, I holler up the stairs, “Alli, how’s it going? The bus will be coming in ten minutes.  Have you finished your first task?   The bus is coming in nine minutes.  How’s it going?” We play this game every school morning and even with my help, she often has to run to catch the bus.

I have perfected the art of Professional Nagger, otherwise known as Mom, and thought I’d put these skills to use by checking in with you as well.  How is your training going?  The race is coming in forty-seven days.  Are you staying focused on consistent training or are the distractions calling you?

I put together a checklist of things to accomplish.

• Register for the race. If you still need to do this, go to http://www.runwithpaula.com/helvetia-half, click on the blue box with the white star that says, “Register Now” and follow the prompts.  Interest in this event is growing exponentially and there is talk that it might start selling out.  Wouldn’t you be disappointed if you trained for twelve weeks for an event but didn’t get a spot in the race?
• Let the Not Your Own team know who you are. Go to http://www.hespeaksinthesilence.com/category/not-your-own/ and scroll down past the blue box on the right hand side.  Under the countdown clock is a “Join Us” heading.  Click on the link, follow the prompts, and let us know we have a new team member.
• Check out the Not Your Own Facebook page. One of the biggest questions we’ve been getting is, “How do I get connected to other women who are training for this event?”  Find them at the Not Your Own Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_113751875371574&ap=1.  Join the group and use the page to find training partners, glean tidbits of helpful info, and encourage us with your progress.
• Gear up. By now you should have purchased a good pair of running or walking shoes.  If you haven’t done this, my guess is that you have sore feet, sore knees, and sore everything.  I know it’s hard to shell out $100 for a pair of good shoes, but not purchasing proper gear makes you susceptible to injury and makes exercising more uncomfortable.  It is worth the investment to get proper running shoes, a supportive bra (sorry boys), and cute exercise clothes that wick away sweat.  You can find inexpensive workout gear at Target or check out my favorite place to buy workout clothes, www.athleta.com.  The price point is higher, but the quality is excellent and this store features a wide range of sizes including petites, tall, and plus sizes.
• Stick to your training plan. You should be starting to ramp up the miles on the weekend now.  I know it’s tough, but you can do it.  Stick to your training plan and don’t skimp on the long runs.  Your body needs the slow ramp up of adjusting to the longer distances so it’s not so shocking on race day.
• Plan your course before you exercise. I plot all my training runs on www.mapmyrun.com.  It’s a resource I can’t live without.  When I chart a weekend long run, I usually choose loops instead of out-and-back routes.  Running a loop forces me to run to the farthest point before heading back home and eliminates the mental argument of “I’m so tired, maybe I could just cut a mile or two off by turning around sooner than I planned.” Even when I run shorter distances, I always decide ahead of time how far or how many minutes I’m planning to run, and I don’t allow myself to swerve from that goal.
• Celebrate your victories. A friend of mine runs on a treadmill next to a poster that says, “It doesn’t matter how fast you’re going.  You’re still lapping everyone on the couch.” Don’t forget to celebrate each time you get out for a run or walk.  Celebrate the days you run fast and furious.  Celebrate the days you fight for each step.  Celebrate because you are really doing this.  WHOO HOO!!!!

At the end of I Corinthians 9 Paul reminds us that in a race, all the runners run, but only one gets the prize.  He says, “Run in such a way as if to win. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.  Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly.”

I can’t help but think of Alli and her quest to make it to the bus each morning.  When she’s focused, she stays on task and revels in being first in line at the bus stop.  When she’s running aimlessly through her morning, you’ll find her sprinting down the street, wet hair flying behind her, carrying her shoes in one hand and her breakfast in the other.  It’s not a pretty sight.

Girls, this race has forced you to enter into strict training and you’re doing such a great job persevering through it.  Life is one big distraction and I know you’re all getting tired. My prayer is that the discipline you are learning from physically training to complete this race will transfer over into your spiritual walk with Jesus.  Don’t run or walk aimlessly.  Stay focused and run to win.  You can do it!

Persevering with you,

Jodi

We asked you to send us your stories about why you’re running and what you’re learning as you train your body and your mind that you are Not Your Own.

Elizabeth Traub told us her story. “I used to be a runner – fit and healthy with a closet full of lovely, small clothes.  Seven years later, those clothes still hang all crisp and ready in my closet.  The problem?  I’m a midlife mom of young ones.  Finding time to run, then doing it and realizing I am no longer the athlete I once was has been tough.  I started slow, or so I thought, and then had to slow down even more.

It is very hard to accept the simple fact that I am way out of shape and overweight.  For most of my life I could commit three weeks to running and drop any extra weight.  Extra weight was 5-10 pounds, not 30-40 pounds.  Ouch!  Did I really just type those digits?  I did and it is my reality.

I signed up to be a part of Not Your Own and I am scared to death.  If you are a Solid Rock woman who needs help getting moving, know that you are not alone.  I am right there with you, still telling myself daily that this is the day I will do something.  I want to be the healthy person God wants me to be.  I really need to stay in shape to keep up with my boys.  I am looking forward to this race and plan on running it.  So join me.”

Angela said, “I joined the Not Your Own group with the goal of finishing the half-marathon.  I also wanted to train alongside such encouraging and inspiring women.  I realize there is a lot to learn through this and God is teaching me a lot through this process.  So far, I’m not a runner.  I struggle with my weight and I’m out of shape.  My goal is to cross the finish line, but I know that God has so much more for me.  If I give Him an inch, He’ll take a mile.  If I give Him everything, He’ll take me the whole way.   I’m learning to ‘lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.’ (Hebrews 12:1)”

Carissa told us her journey of becoming a runner. “I ran my first marathon last year.  I said I would never run one.  I’ve always battled stomach problems when it comes to running and I had little time to train with three home-schooled sons (5 yrs, 3 yrs, and baby) at home and very few by-myself-moments.

I started running again in the fall of 2009 after my last pregnancy.  I immediately realized that I had remained a runner in my mind, but my body was another story.  Even though I was discouraged, I kept at it and trained for a half-marathon in the summer of 2010.  I loved getting back in shape and becoming strong and athletic.  I also loved the energy running gave me, the time with the Lord, and having an outlet and identity outside my role of wife and mother.

After I ran my half-marathon, I signed up for the Portland Marathon on 10-10-10.  I prayed for a running partner to get through the long training runs with support and God answered by bringing Jodi Stilp and I together.  God helped me stay injury-free as I trained and provided prayer and encouragement from family and friends, energy after each long run, and help with my kids.  Bit by bit, I found myself reaching goals that seemed intimidating if not impossible.

The day of the marathon we headed out in the dark rainy weather.  It rained on us the whole time but in spite of the dreary weather, we still had fun.  We celebrated as the miles passed and kept our pace strong.  Around mile fifteen Jodi and I got separated.  I needed to slow down to make the climb up St. John’s bridge.  Boy did I pray through those next eleven miles.  It was really tough, but the less I thought about myself and the more I fixed my eyes upon the Lord the better (or shall we say less miserable) I felt.  At the finish line Jodi and I met back up, soaked and exhausted, but we celebrated our run and her qualifying for Boston.

I don’t know how long I’ll be able to be a distance runner or whether I’ll surprise myself with some other athletic pursuit, but what is most important is I love being Not My Own.”

Q: Did any of your children have a hard time focusing on a task? If so, how did you handle that? A: Okay, this one is going to get me in trouble. I had two of the wiggliest, busiest boys ever created. My firstborn, John Mark (now the pastor of Solid Rock) never walked- he ran from task to task. My youngest son, Matt, was born bouncing his merry way through life. The two girls in the middle weren’t much for sitting still either, though both of them enjoyed curling up for a good talk every day. As my kids were growing up, I started hearing a lot of labels put on kids who just couldn’t seem to sit still and be quiet. I worried that my boys would be slapped with a label such as ADD or ADHD or hyperactivity, but I didn’t want that kind of stigma for them. And I certainly didn’t like the idea of medicating my sons to get them to behave the way everyone thought they should. So I chose instead to order the outside of their world so that they could order the inside of their lives.

Here are some of the strategies I used to impose a sense of order and rest on their days:

1. Play outside every day. In rain or shine, cold or heat, we went outside to play. Lots of time at the park, walking around the neighborhood, playing in the sandbox and even in the mud. We even built a treehouse with a roof for rainy weather. There is just something so adventuresome about eating lunch way up high! I found it nothing short of amazing how quickly fresh air calmed down the agitation and relieved the restlessness that came from being indoors too much.
2. Eat frequent, healthy meals to prevent low blood sugar, which often acts like hyperactivity in kids. And drink lots of water to keep them hydrated and fresh. (God sent ravens to Elijah when he was too hungry to think straight I Kings 19:1-8)
3. Consistently carve out time for each child to be alone every single day. This is their time to dream and think and ponder and process. I kept colorful, whimsical books and crayons and creative things close by so they could be alone and be busy at the same time. Legos were always a favorite for my boys. (Jesus craved time alone with God, often slipping away up to a mountain top to pray-Luke 6:12)
4. Order their environment. I mean neatness here—a place for everything and everything in its place. And get rid of stuff! Clutter is confusing and distracting and often the cause of a restless child. Take a look at their room and at your family room. Is it crammed with distractions? Start each day with a clean, orderly home and then whip through together and “do a once through” before naps, before going out, and before Dad gets home, and before bed. You’ll be astounded at what a difference it makes for your child- and for you too! (study how God ordered the world He created for us in Genesis 1)
5. SLOW DOWN! Most moms are just too crazy busy for anyone’s good. All those lessons and “opportunities” are creating more chaos than anything. Just stay home- a lot. This is your time to pour into your children and to manage your home with beauty and finesse. (God studies us and notices our inner needs- Psalm 139)
6. Get rid of all computer/video/electronic games. While you’re at it, stuff that t.v. into a closet. If your child is having trouble paying attention, these are the worst activities for him. Every study you’ll ever read agrees that our children’s brains are being bombarded with more than they can process. Every one of those things may be fine in very limited increments, but taken all together they spell trouble for kids. (David determined to put all vain, worthless distractions away from his eyes-Psalm 101:3)
7. Make sure your children are getting a full dose of sleep. Over tired kids are cranky and restless. Make bedtime a pleasant winding down to a busy day, with stories and smiles and lots of affection. (A sense of peace and safety in which to cuddle up to sleep is essential-Psalm 4:8)

Be courageous enough to break the unhealthy tendency to medicate your children. Most children can be taught and trained to be creative problem solvers with some concentrated effort from mom. It’s a lot of work, but so well worth it when you get to watch them channel all that energy into learning and growing as God intended them to. Go for it!

From my heart,

Diane

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“And the angel of the Lord…

came…

and sat upon it.”

Matthew 28:2

(source)

The stone stood in silent sentinel across the cave. On the other side, or so she thought, lay Jesus.  Her Lord.  And wrapped up with Him lay all her shattered hopes and dreams. Dead.

She’d come to say good-bye. Farewell to faith.

She’d come to grieve. To let go of the hope that had held her in such wild expectation every time He talked.

It was over now.

Best she be done with it and cope with reality… deal with drudgery… face her future…

But that stone blocked her way.

Falling to the ground in a heap of defeated despair, pulling her knees tight against her chest, she rocked back and forth, back and forth as her sobs filled the early morning air.

Why… Was… Life… So… Hard…?

Waves of grief shook her. Years of hurt overwhelmed her reason, spilling out upon the unyielding realities of that stone. There was nothing to do but die.

Somewhere in the peripheral of her mind she sensed movement, but her sorrow was too great to stop and listen. But there.

A sound.

A scrape.

Was that a cough?

Her sobs slowed, again a noise.

Fear froze her.  Oh no, what now?

Slowly, hesitantly, as if she could wait away the next disaster, she looked up.

An angel sitting on the stone, that… gargantuan… immovable… uncontrollable mountain of impossibilities.

And the stone was moved.

Just like that.

Is a stone blocking your way to life?  To peace?  To joy?  Have you worn yourself out trying to push it away?  Exhausted your soul trying everything to change your circumstances?  Are you sweaty and angry and defeated and discouraged?  Have you lost hope?

Sit still awhile. Sit at the tomb of your tomorrows and let yourself grieve what might have been.  Should have been.  Cry it all out.

And when you’re done, listen… shhh… quiet… be still…

In the ashes of your grief, in the failure of your fantasies of how life ought to be, sits Jesus. In dazzling white He sits atop that stone… immune to impossibilities… with a different idea of the ideal.

And while you’re there, let Him fill you with His hope and His dreams.  Let Him store those tears away, pack up your past, relinquish your regrets, and give you… a new start, a new life… a renewed hope…

After all, He rolled away that stone.

From my heart,

Diane

C’mon Ladies. You know you want to get on this bandwagon…  You had a night to sleep on it.  Have you lost your resolve?  Or are you more excited this morning than when you went to bed last night?  Either way, let’s get you moving forward before you change your mind.  We’ve got some sweating to do. 1. Tell someone of your commitment to fitness. We need the accountability and encouragement that comes from voicing our commitment out-loud.  If you’re single, tell a bunch of your girlfriends and rope them into this journey with you.  If you’re married, get your spouse on board.  See if he is willing to schedule a fitness plan that allows both of you to exercise consistently.  This worked really well for Curt and I. Use your spouse or your friends to encourage you to get back at it when you fall off your training routine and celebrate each victory you have.  Don’t worry.  There will be a lot to celebrate.

2. Let us know you’re on board. Please take the time to “Sign Up” by going to the Not Your Own web page (http://www.hespeaksinthesilence.com/category/not-your-own/), clicking the hyperlink in the right hand corner under “Sign Up,” and giving us your contact information.

3. Get familiar with the Not Your Own webpage, a one-stop spot for all our Solid Rock athletes. Elizabeth Mosser has worked really hard to design an easy-to-use web page with all the info you need.  You’ll get encouraging blog posts, find a countdown to race day, a place to sign up, and a toolbox filled with helpful links for all your training needs.  There’s even a subscription box where you can sign up to have each Not Your Own blog post show up in your mailbox.

4. Gear Up. Ladies, please don’t miss this. If you want to avoid injury, it’s imperative that you get proper footwear. Please do not go to a department store, pick the cutest pair of tennis shoes, and start running.  This is a recipe for disaster.  You need to go to a running specific store and work with trained salespeople for an individualized shoe fitting.  A good store will analyze your gait by watching you run either on a treadmill or outside and then fit you with a shoe specific to your fitness goals and your running stride.  Check out the Toolbox for a list of local running stores that offer this service.

5. Come to a Clinic for New Runners. I’ve been talking with Paula Harkin, Race Coordinator for the Helvetia event on June 11^th.  She and her husband, Dave, own the Portland Running Company and are really excited about what we’re doing at Solid Rock.  They offered to host a New Runners Clinic exclusively for Not Your Own athletes and have reserved their store on Scholls Ferry Road for this event.  Mark your calendar for Tuesday night, March 29^th, beginning at 7 p.m.  Space is limited so reserve your spot as soon as possible by emailing hespeaks@ajesuschurch.org.

The seminar will cover the importance of getting started on the right foot (pun intended) and will discuss shoes, apparel, motivation, injuries, hydration and a Q&A for any outstanding questions.  Trained employees will be available to fit you for shoes and every woman who attends will receive a 10% discount off anything she purchases that evening. Paula even offered to have a table set up for race registration.  Could it get any easier?

6. Register for the Helvetia Half-Marathon or Widmer Brothers 10K. Solid Rock will not be buying a block of race entries.  If you want to participate, you need to register for the event of your choosing.  Follow this link http://www.runwithpaula.com/helvetia-half, click on “Register Now” and follow the prompts.  I’d encourage you to register sooner rather than later.  Something about putting your money where your mouth is makes training that much more appealing.

7. Set Attainable Goals. Please don’t decide that you will exercise each of the 83 days until the gun goes off on race day.  Because you won’t.  And then you’ll get discouraged.  And be tempted to quit.  Slow and steady is a much better approach to transitioning consistent exercise into your life.

Here are some basic questions to ask before setting a fitness goal:

A. What is your current life stage?

• Single?
• Newly married?
• Married with young children?
• Married with older children?

B. With my life stage in mind, how many days each week can I realistically exercise?

C. Am I exercising right now?  If so, how can I focus my workouts to meet a goal of running a 10K or a half marathon?

D. Where do I have time in my schedule to slot this in?

• Early morning before my husband leaves for work?
• On my lunch hour at work?
• After dinner to unwind?

E. Who is going to hold me accountable to this goal?

When Curt and I went through this exercise, we decided we could get up early two mornings a week.  This was a huge commitment for me because I am NOT a morning person, but Curt literally dragged me out of bed and heckled me out the front door to get me to keep my commitment.  We also decided that it wasn’t too much to ask for us to exercise once on the weekend.  Can you guess when I ran on the weekends? No earlier than 1 p.m.  Knowing I got to exercise when I wanted to on the weekend was salve for my bleary-eyed soul during the week.

8. Pick a Training Program. We’ve linked you to several well-known training programs for different fitness levels in the Toolbox.  If you’re a novice, try the Couch to 5K.  If you exercise consistently and want to run the half-marathon, try the Hal Higgdon training program.

If you have never run a day in your life, start with interval training, beginning with walk/jog intervals as you build up stamina.  This is a great way to get started without overdoing it.  These training programs will also encourage you to make time to cross-train with exercise aside from exclusively running.  Your best bet to avoid injury and get the most out of running is to follow these training programs.

9. Be Intentional. Put your running dates on your calendar and make them a non-negotiable.  This is tough in the beginning but with a little practice, you’ll start to guard your exercise time and maybe even look forward to it.  It’s definitely more fun when you sweat with your friends, so link up with your girlfriends and the miles will fly by.

10. Don’t be easily discouraged. You’ve just made a big commitment but I am “confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  (Philippians 1:6)  If you go out for your first run and all you can muster is less than you desire, big fizz.  Celebrate that you finished Day One.

When every muscle in your body is screaming, “Why did you get brainwashed into signing up for this?” tell them it’s because you are Not Your Own.

When you want to quit, break your large goal into a bunch of smaller goals and keep going.  I tell myself, “I can do anything for five minutes.”  When I reach five minutes, I throw myself a little party and then repeat, “I can do anything for five minutes.”

I stumbled upon Romans 15:5-6 in my quiet time this week.  It says,

“May the God who gives endurance (we need that for running) and encouragement (we need that for running too) give you a spirit of unity (there’s the community aspect of doing this together) among yourselves, as you follow Christ Jesus (follow Him to the finish line) so that with one heart and mouth (there’s unity again) you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. (there’s the mission).”

Persevering With You,

Jodi

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I have always been a tomboy.  My poor mom would send me to school all prim and proper and I’d emerge hours later a bedraggled mess – socks around my ankles, hair in tangles, uniform askew.  I tried to be a lady.  Really I did.  But being the recess tetherball champion carried more clout than being ladylike and my mom resigned herself to mending holey tights and slapping band-aids on perpetually skinned knees.

I was exposed to team sports in 7^th grade and athletics became my passion.  I was no super star, but quickly realized that discipline and consistent hard work result in improvement.  Quitting was never an option.  I took pride in being part of a team, sharing both the pain of defeat and the glory of victory.  It was as an athlete that I felt the beauty of encouragement, embraced the spirit of competition, and learned the power of endurance… pushing myself harder and faster. It was empowering.

Being an athlete became a large piece of my identity and played a significant role in my life through high school, college, and early adulthood.  I met my husband, Curt, on the softball field.  We got engaged on roller blades.  I wore white tennis shoes under my fancy wedding dress.

(Curt and I when we first met)

When Curt started graduate school, we learned to run together.  Those after-dinner hours running the Lake Michigan neighborhood around our apartment were the only concentrated time we had together during the week.  Curt, true to his personality, methodically added milage over time.  I ran in fits and starts.  Some days I felt like I could run forever and I’d run fast and furious.  Other days, it was all I could do to make it out of the parking lot without feeling like I might keel over and die.

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Our flirtation with running didn’t last.  Curt graduated and we fell headfirst into babies.  They came in rapid-fire succession (1-2-3-4) and my life consisted of diapers, nursing, trips to the park and years of interrupted sleep.  I tried to get back into some form of regular exercise but motivation was as hard to come by as sleep.   When our youngest daughter was 15 months, I had an epiphany.  I still thought of myself as an athlete but in reality I was an exhausted, overweight, out-of-shape mom who got winded walking up the stairs.

(all of us 4 years ago)

Curt and I determined to reclaim our health.  A gym membership didn’t fit our budget, but we could afford to buy new running shoes and start pounding the pavement again.  We set a goal that was attainable with our life stage and committed to run two mornings a week and once on the weekend.

In the beginning, it was miserable.  The first morning when I looked at the twenty degree temp on the thermometer, I almost scrapped the whole plan. Thankfully, my husband wouldn’t let me quit and forced me out of my nice warm bed and out the door.  I was painfully slow and my endurance was shot.  But I was running.  Slowly but surely the weeks ticked by, the pounds melted off and my self-esteem soared.  The athlete in me resurrected and on those days when I felt like I could run forever I dreamed of what it would be like to run a marathon. But who in their right mind can run 26.2 miles?

Four months after we started running, we attended a family reunion centered around a weekend of races.  Curt and I had toyed with the idea of running the 10K (6.2 miles) but we had only worked up to three miles in our training.  Doubling the distance seemed ridiculously far and slightly stupid.  Two nights before the 10K, my aunt pulled me aside and said, “Your uncle and I know you can run the half-marathon tomorrow.  You can do whatever you set your mind to.  We want to pay for your entry fee and we’ll be there to celebrate with you when you cross the finish line.”

(after the half-marathon in Sunriver)

I stared at her in disbelief.  A 10K was a major stretch for me and she wanted me to run 13.1 miles?  I wasn’t even sure I’d packed my running shoes.  I was convinced she was crazy, but her confidence in me was infectious.  If she thought I could do it, then maybe, just maybe I really could.

Sleep evaded me all night.  As dawn broke, I kissed Curt and our four kiddos goodbye and started the long walk to the athlete’s village.  My hands trembled as I timidly paid my registration fee.  What on earth was I doing? This was pure insanity.

The gun went off and my anxiety melted away as I let the reality of what I was doing soak in.  I was running a half-marathon!  At each mile marker, I threw myself a little party, no pity involved.  When I hit the halfway point, I decided that unless I got hurt, I would run every step.  No walking for this athlete.  Mile by mile, one foot in front of the other, all the way to the finish line where my family waited.  They screamed their heads off as I crossed the finish line weeping. I will never forget that day.

Finishing that race upright and alive gave me the confidence to pursue my dream of running an entire marathon.  Three months later I hesitantly took my place at the starting line of what ended up being the hottest marathon in Chicago’s history.  Temps topped out at 88°F with heat indexes soaring into the high 90’s.  Athletes collapsed by the hundreds causing race officials to do the unthinkable – shut a race down with thousands of runners still on the course.  Runners who hadn’t reached the halfway point were diverted to the start and finish area, while those on the second half of the course were advised to drop out, walk or board cooling buses.  I was ahead of the buses so my family continued the pursuit to the finish with me, chasing me around the marathon course and providing encouragement to finish what I started when quitting seemed like the only sane option.  Stumbling across the finish line of that race was fantastic!

(Curt and I after the Chicago Marathon)

It’s been four years since Curt and I sat down at our kitchen table and committed ourselves to fitness.  In those four years, I’ve learned yoga, pilates, strength training, cross training, and cycling.  I had knee surgery and couldn’t run for six months so I took swimming lessons.  In my first lesson I discovered a paralyzing fear of being under the water.  For the next year I forced myself into the pool twice a week. When the panic would attack fast and furious, I chanted over and over, “God did not give me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (II Timothy 1:7) For good measure I’d add, “Just keep swimming.” By the grace of God (and a lot of help from Curt), I finished my first triathlon last summer and lived to tell about it.

(Curt and I at my first triathlon)

What’s your story?  Have you buried your inner athlete?  Are you ready to dust her off, tie on some new running shoes, and get out there?

Does reading this get your palms sweaty, your heart racing and your pulse pounding?  Are you thinking, “Maybe, just maybe I could do that too…”  Let me assure you, YOU CAN. You can do whatever you set your mind to.  Remember, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

Won’t you join me, Diane, and the women of Solid Rock at Hillsboro Stadium on June 11^th and write your own story to fitness?  I’m excited to walk this journey with you and I’ll be there to celebrate with you at the finish line.

Check back tomorrow for details on how to get started. I can’t wait to see you on race day!

Persevering with You,

Jodi

Jesus said to the people,

“I am the light of the world.

If you follow Me, you won’t be stumbling through the darkness,

Because you will have the light that leads to light.”

John 8:12

NLT

The Meaning of His Name:

God sits on a throne of light. He revealed Himself to Moses in as a burning bush, lighting up the desert with His presence. He wrapped Himself in a pillar of light to lead His people out of the darkness of slavery.  He flashed a streak of blinding light to get Paul’s attention.

God basks in light.

When I was a little girl growing up in the tiny village of Oberhurchstadt, Germany, we often had tremendous thunder and lightening storms. In fact, a tall metal spire to draw the lightening away from the roof— just in case, topped every house in our village. One night, especially thunderous hail pounding against our tile roof had me cowering as close to my Dad as I could get. He wrapped his arm around me and spoke reassuringly of how safe we really were.

Boom! Oh, that’s just the lightening rod on the roof, taking the brunt of the storm.

Crash! Probably just a few roof tiles, nothing to worry about.

Bang! Mmh, we must have a shutter loose somewhere, I’ll fix it in the morning.

But when the lights went out, cloaking our cozy home in sinister darkness, my terror reached a turning point. Words from my father meant nothing. I was just too afraid to hear him.

And so my loving dad did what he’d always done when fear overwhelmed me.

He fixed it.

Handing this histrionic prone girl to my less-than-fully sympathetic mother (a woman who honestly is not afraid of anything), he simply got up and found a flashlight. Then he lit the beautiful Tyrolean carved candles on the coffee table, creating an aura of safety for his family.

He didn’t scold. He wouldn’t allow my big brother to laugh (though I definitely recall a snicker from his corner). He just brought me some beautiful light to ease my fear.

God knows how terrifying the darkness is.

In the dark we hurt ourselves, we get lost and feel intensely alone.

Darkness is dangerous. And frightening.

Knowing this, Jesus gave Himself a new name: Light of the World. By His name He banished the darkness, flooded our lives with light, and opened the world of His Kingdom.

Are you confused about what to do?  How to think? Where to go?

Are you tired of bumping into people, leaving bruised bodies behind?

Have you succumbed to insecurity?

Let Him shine Himself into your darkness by inviting Him to be who He is to you.

He is… the Light of the World.

From my heart,

Diane

John 8:12

John 9:5

John 1:1-5

Isaiah 9:2

Isaiah 60:2

Matthew 17:1-2

I John 1:5-7

Psalm 139:11-12

Micah 7:7-8

I Timothy 6:13-16

Psalm 104:1-2