Dear girls, I have received a lot of letters these past few weeks that we’ve been talking about sex and romance and loving our husbands.  Women cautiously opening their fears and shame to me.  Stories of abandonment and abuse, disappointment and defeat.  Of boredom and disinterest.

I sense the honor of being one you feel safe with, and I am humbled by your courage.

Women who hurt deep most often hide it carefully.

We pretend. Oh sure, we women complain about the petty stuff like that extra 20 pounds and all the inconveniences of our less-than-ideal lives. But those hurts that define us? Those get locked away where no one dare judge or in any way add to our grief.

And in your honesty, I hear the same thing over and over again. The man who was supposed to protect you and love you and cherish you and provide all you need— didn’t.

Your father failed you. Your boyfriend took too much. Your husband cannot seem to give enough.

And your glorious, alluring sensuality has become your downfall.

Many of you have simply packed it away, like a dress that doesn’t fit anymore. You know its there, you remember, with a certain sense of remorse, a time when you felt beautiful and desirable.

But now you don’t want what you once craved. It’s brought you pain or disappointment. You gave yourself to someone who didn’t treasure you, didn’t keep his promises, didn’t love you in the way you thought he surely would.

What you thought it was… it wasn’t and what you wish it was… it never has been.

Or for some of you, it’s not that at all. No pain, but not any real pleasure either. You’re too tired. Too busy. Your to-do list is too long. Too many little ones touching you and taking from you all day and into the night.

Your body is tired, your soul depleted, your relationship with your husband more of a chore-riddled, conflict-avoiding, child-raising, career-building cooperative… no longer the romance you once imagined.

And then there’s reality:  Your body isn’t beautiful like the airbrushed, half starved, breast enhanced women in the movies. You’re so intent on hiding the parts you don’t want him to see that you fail to recognize your own inherent sensuality. You punish yourself by denying your feminine flourishes. Instead you’ve become practical and low maintenance.

You don’t want him to see you unclothed because you’ve lost the freedom your beauty brings. The naked and unashamed of the Garden is long gone.

You’re hurt, you’re tired, and your beauty is lost.

And for all three causes, the result is the same— you no longer want sex.

And for each of these three common causes, there are simple solutions. Not easy, mind you, but straightforward and doable.

Let’s start with cause #1.

You thought sex with your husband would mean blockbuster romance every time. You want to see tenderness in his eyes, yearning, adoration. You want him smitten, his passion for you propelling him to a place of sacrificial giving into your life.

And guess what? That is what God wants too. He calls it being “exhilarated by her love”, He goes so far as to sternly command a husband to choose to be satisfied and at rest with his wife’s sensuality. (Pv 5:18,19) God wants your husband to demonstrate His own tenderness by “nourishing and cherishing” you. (Eph. 5:25-33)

But here’s the truth: The reason God so adamantly commands your husband to love you the way you wish you could be loved… is because no man naturally does that!

And here’s the rest of the truth: The only One who will always love you the way you long to be loved is God. His is the love that pursues you relentlessly. His is the passion that uncovers your beauty. He is the one who yearns for intimate connection with you every moment of every day.

A woman who finds her own longings fulfilled by the One, is able to so love her husband that sex becomes about satisfying his longings— exhilarating and thrilling him with her spilled over love. And in doing so, she finds immeasurable freedom. Her body, her soul, and her spirit mesh in a moment of unabashed passion and pleasure.

Try it. Get up tomorrow morning and spend an hour with your Bible open to the book of Psalms. Listen. Let God love you with His words. Respond by loving Him back. Go on a walk somewhere beautiful and drink in His gifts to you. Treasure His love. Relish the beauty He made to nourish you. Pick a handful of flowers that He grew for you.

Then plan and prepare a sensual rendezvous with your husband. Be creative. Do what delights him. Do it for him. Look forward to loving him all day long, to lavishing love on him the way the Father lavishes love on you- even when you’re less-than ideal.

Do this often— as often as he wants and needs you and then a little more. Then look at the way he looks at you. Do you see that spark? That meaningful glance? That passion you’d missed?

Add in a whole bunch of just plain, ordinary niceness… that phileo (friendly) love written about in Titus 2:4, and you have set the atmosphere for the kind of love you long for to grow between the two of you.

Simple? Yes. Easy? No.

This goes against everything you’ve seen in the moves, most marriage books and seminars, and would never, ever be the basis for a best-selling romance novel. But this is God’s way.

And since I’ve gone too long (again) I’m going to have to hold the other two reasons women don’t like sex and the solutions for next week. But here’s a recap, just a little clearer.

Problem: You’ve stopped craving sex because he isn’t romancing you and loving you the way you thought he would.

Solution:

1. Cultivate and receive a love relationship with God that fills you full to the brim.
2. Seductively pour love on your husband out of the overflow of your feeling loved by God.
3. Do this a lot. Do this often. Do this for him.
4. Be friendly towards him, remembering how kind God is towards you even when you’re less than you ought to be.

The result:  You will love sex!  Your husband will be thrilled! He’ll be exhilarated with your love, he’ll find rest and comfort in you.  He may just fall over in shock!

Now, do this all summer, into the fall.  Then keep his bed hot during all the winter months. Surprise him in the spring. Do this for years and years and decades until you’re both old.

Those crinkles along his eyes will be all about you. You’ll be so inundated with all the healthy hormones that great sex releases (more about this later), that your own skin will glow without the costs of Botox and beauty supplies. Really.

And if you’re not married, this is what you have to look forward to, girls. A lifetime of getting from God and giving to your husband and receiving back more than you can imagine.

From my heart,

Diane

P.S. I still can’t believe I’m talking so openly about this, girls. Thank you for cheering me on, for leaving comments that give me courage to open my heart wide, and for so fearlessly keeping this conversation going.

Your honesty and humility astound me.

P.S.S. I know there are men out there who have allowed themselves to be so perverted by pornography and sexual sin that no amount of pure loving will create this kind of passionate response. I am so sorry. Yet I also know that there are solutions. If that is your story, please get serious help. Stop hiding his sin and seek wise counsel. If you don’t, it will only get worse. If you do, God is more than willing and able to redeem the darkness.

Dear girls, Last week we talked about 5 truths about sex. Solid, unshakeable realities that are firmly rooted in God’s Word, interwoven through stories and verses, imbedded in Biblical poetry and prophesy and chronicled in epistles from beginning to end.

And this week as I read your comments and emails and messages I hear the lies that follow you right into the bedroom.

That you are not beautiful enough…

That you are not pure enough…

And, perhaps the most haunting of all, that your past prevents you from fully and freely relishing that romance and passion you long for. 

Early this morning I sensed the Spirit of God urging me awake, inviting me into His presence, waiting for me to ask Him for wisdom for you, my daughters with aching hearts and haunting questions.

“I want so desperately to be fully engaged when we are intimate but so many of my past experiences haunt me in ways I can’t begin to describe…

I frequently find myself struggling to simply feel something emotionally…

 Sometimes I feel like my heart has been permanently paralyzed and I wish with everything I could fully engage with my husband and lay aside the memories of my past…

I can’t help but feel like we are both continuing to be robbed for the sins I have already been forgiven for...

I would love to hear your thoughts on overcoming this and allowing God to heal us and make us new so that we can be fully free and fully engaged with our bodies and husbands which is the way God intended sex to be.

Could you possibly talk about how to re-learn sexual vulnerability for those of us who have been hurt in the past? 

And as I sit here alone while all the world sleeps, I listen.

Asking the One who knows, who sees, who saves your tears in a bottle, for wisdom… for grace… for the kind of truth that sets wounded women free.

Two words echo over and over again in my mind— one, surprisingly easy and refreshingly freeing, the other defeatingly difficult and even more freeing.

Repentance (the easy one that sets us free from shame).

Forgivenesss (the really hard one that sets us free from pain).

But first, a story.

One day at church, a young woman I know and love wanted to talk to me. Alone. Her husband stood just a little bit behind her with his hands in his pockets. He looked worried.

We found a private place where we wouldn’t be interrupted or overheard, made ourselves comfortable, and sat in silence. I could tell she was trying to compose herself, getting her emotions safely tucked away where they wouldn’t interfere with her story.

“I need to tell somebody some really horrible stuff. I just can’t get rid of the memories and I feel like I’m drowning in images from my past. My husband has no idea how to help and would be horrified if he heard the details of my life before I met him him. Yet those pictures won’t go away! Every time my husband touches me I see things… dark things I’ve done… and…”

Here she looked at me with such deep remorse it caught my breath,

“I cannot feel pleasure, not like I know it should. I hold back, afraid of freedom, afraid to feel.”

For the next hour my young friend laid it all out. Every single memory. Every sexual partner. What she saw. What she felt. Every layer of blackness that hung over her every time she made love to her husband.

And after each recalled and confessed memory she repented. She prayed. She paused. Then she confessed some more.

I just listened, feeling the horror with her, cursing the enemy under my breath for wrecking the life of such a lovely woman.

We held hands the whole time, and though her hands trembled, she didn’t shed a tear. Stoically, with immense determination, she just walked through her list of misery.

When she was done we sat in silence.

And then we started to worship. Spontaneously, filling up with such joy, such relief, we took turns praising and thanking and admiring the One who calls Himself Redeemer. The beauty of His blood washed over us as we reveled in His choice to love us “while we were yet sinners”. We laughed as we remembered that He adopted us, fully knowing who we are, what we’d done, what we’d do.

We didn’t sing, didn’t weep, didn’t disturb the holiness of the moment with much thought of our feelings. We just got caught up in wonder.

How can it be? The old hymn writer wondered, That Thou, My God should rescue me?

We both left that meeting stunned— not by the wretched ugliness of her confessions, but by the shocking grace of our God who sees it all and never wavers in His forgiveness.

And my friend left that meeting free. All those memories fell off her soul, crashing at the foot of the Cross… and stayed there.

And slowly, but surely, she began to feel again. Her husband’s arms became a refuge instead of a reminder. His love mirrored the love of her Redeemer. She responded with increasing joy, finding intense pleasure where tense pain had held her captive.

And me? I cannot remember anything she told me. The burden I had thought I would have to bear with her is lost somewhere in that flood of grace. I can recall the beauty of our worship but not even a bit of the blackness.

So strange… so strangely wonderful.

And I tell you all of that so that maybe some of you who are caught by soul binding chords of guilt and shame might consider a similar way to freedom.

James 5:16-18 in the Message paraphrase lays out the truth of what happened in that room like this:

Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed.

The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with. Elijah, for instance, human just like us, prayed hard that it wouldn’t rain, and it didn’t—not a drop for three and a half years. Then he prayed that it would rain, and it did. 

The showers came and everything started growing again.

Everything started to grow again. Just like my friend’s soul and marriage and sexuality began to grow again after she followed her courage to confession and repentance and acceptance of that overwhelming grace that only God can give.

This post is too long and I haven’t even addressed the second word: forgiveness. Maybe another time. For now, suffice it to say what I already have, that forgiveness is the key that sets us free from pain.

I love you, girls!

From my heart,

Diane

(source) 

Fearing people is a dangerous trap,

But to trust the LORD means safety.

Proverbs 29:25

TRUST

Doesn’t it always come back to this?

To put my hand in His and let Him be the one to lead.

To trust His judgment.

And don’t we all struggle with just this?

This need to learn how to purposely choose to look at His face whenever I worry about what’s maybe right and what might be wrong?

To look to Him for approval instead of letting the approval of people be my guide?

Just a little while ago I was in Albania sitting across from a new friend, a woman being braver than most, willing to go against the grain that constrains the women there.

She told me about all those years when communism reigned and having nothing was normal— no beauty, no luxury, not enough food, not enough of anything.

And so women just cleaned. Because their homes were not pretty, they made sure they were clean. Cleaner than anyone else’s. Women mopped and shined and wiped meticulously, endlessly. And then they apologized for anything less than perfect and limited themselves, lest anyone see so much as a smudge.

And they’re still doing it now while working and buying and saving and educating and cooking the most delicious and time intensive meals I’d ever eaten.

And my friend has decided not to go along with that pressure. She won’t be defined by the hygienics of her shower.

She has stuff to do, important stuff. 

So she’s writing instead of scrubbing; children’s bible stories, a blog for young mothers, another for Albanian families, an online magazine. And she’s gathering women to study Scripture, to search for wisdom about raising their children in post-communist, still-atheist Albania.

Edi is my hero—she’s bold, she’s beautiful.

She’s safe.

And Edi has mastered something I’m just beginning to learn— that to fear God we women must deliberately ignore the disapproval of our sisters and mothers and magazines and friends.

We must choose instead to think long and hard, to ponder all alone just what it is that the LORD is asking of us.

To wear the clothes that fit, and toss out those wishful thinking styles that bind our souls too tight.

But how? Other than letting ourselves get all hard and cold and defiant, how in the world can we act on this?

Here’s my list for me…

1. To not try to do it all.
2. To tell the truth.
3. To be satisfied with who we are and then be free to enjoy our sisters who aren’t like us at all.
4. To do what only I can do and not try to do more.
5. To smile and have fun and hole up in quiet corners all by myself just because I crave that.
6. To wear glitter when grey is more the style.

I am learning… slowly. And so are you. We’ll get this eventually.

From my heart,

Diane

Isaiah 51:7… so much wisdom

repost from Nov. 2012 

Ruth 4v18-22

Epilogue (Part Five) 

(Click here to listen to the seventh Ruth teaching)

Verse of the Week

“LOVE ONE ANOTHER WITH BROTHERLY AFFECTION, - AS MEMBERS OF ONE FAMILY- GIVING PRECEDENCE AND SHOWING HONOR TO ONE ANOTHER.” Romans 12v10 AMB

More Words fro the Father

Romans 12

Colossians 3

From my Heart

Page from the past: December 1995

Us

A husband and a wife. Four children (including two teenagers, one pre-adolescent, and one toddler)! Two cats. One totally disobedient dog. And two horses. This is the make-up of our family. Needless to say, with all our comings and goings, individual personalities, and distinct wills, ours is not always a peaceful place. There is plenty of teasing and laughter…and fun. And if I'm honest, quite a few thunderclaps of conflict as well.

And I love it.

Oh, I don’t always like it. I am, after all, a woman who thrives on solitude, order, calm, quiet, and peace (rare qualities in this busy household). Yet I love the richness, the ever-changing variety, the heart-stopping intimacy of shared thoughts. I find such safety in the “kindred spirits” I have found in each of my family members.

I know what they like…

They know what I like…

We know what we like together.

There is something soul-satisfying about a shared beauty; a favorite song on the radio, a breath-taking sunset, or better yet, the groggy-eyed wonder of an early morning sunrise. When I see a brilliant rainbow with my family, it takes on a deeper beauty because we gasp in wonder together.

This family of mine is nothing like the still-life portrait I once imagined it would be. For goodness sake, we can’t even get a quick snapshot of all six of us smiling with all 12 eyes open at once!

I am learning, ever so slowly, that if I let go and stop trying to get everybody to be quiet and still and orderly, I enjoy this crazy crowd a whole lot more.

Though I treasure order, they do not. Though I love quiet, I have never known one of them to leave our noisy family circle to seek solitude for the sake of silence. They prefer noise, and lots of it. And while neatness seems essential to my peace of mind, not a one of the rest of them care a whit if the house is in perfect order before they go to bed, or when they get up, or anytime in between!

I’m finally getting it. That family peace consists more in letting go and accepting each other than in trying frantically to keep everybody calm, quiet, and tidy. I am learning that conflict is sometimes okay (will I ever really believe that?) and that closeness comes not by obliterating conflict, but by living with it comfortably.

We do not always agree. In fact, we rarely all agree. And that’s okay. It is when we graciously respect each other’s differing opinions and ways of doing things that friendship sprouts like well-watered weeds all over the relationships in this family.

So I am learning painstakingly slowly to let go and enjoy this crew of six. I am daily resisting the hundreds of urges to control and corral them into my version of the Happy Family.

They are they…

and I am me…

and together we are we.

From my heart,

Diane

ETC

Genealogies

The Old Testament contains about two-dozen genealogical lists. The aim of these lists was to establish links from the past to the present. Biblical genealogies differ from the family trees that so many Americans attempt to reconstruct, in that they were linear genealogies. Lots and lots of names were left out, skipped over not because they were unknown, but because they were considered insignificant to the purpose of the list. Linear genealogies functioned as legal documents to legitimize claims to position, authority, or power.

This genealogy at the end of the book of Ruth was written, at least in part, in order to validate David’s claim to the throne. It starts with the name of Perez, who was the son of Judah, linking David’s ancestry to the promise given to Abraham.

The ancient Hebrew genealogies were usually limited to ten generations. In this descending format, the names at the beginning are the revered, honored founders whose stories lend examples of power and prestige, while the names at the end of the list were of the well-known recent generations.

This particular genealogy emphasizes how God included imperfect people in the generations who would bring about Israel’s greatest king, David. It gives us hope by showing us that He is in the habit of using messy stories. And if He can orchestrate the dysfunctional families of the past, perhaps He can redeem our own less-than-perfect lives.

The Abrahamic Covenant

Genesis 22v16-17

“By Myself I have sworn, declares the Lord,

because you have done this thing,

and have not withheld your son, your only son,

indeed I will greatly bless you,

and I will greatly multiply your seed

as the stars of the heavens,

and as the sand which is on the seashore;

and your seed shall possess the gate of their enemies.

And in your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed,

Because you have obeyed My voice.”

Zucchini bread, stuffed zucchini, zucchini lasagna... is there anything zucchini can't do? Zucchini is an extremely versatile vegetable and my new favorite way to eat them is by making them into noodles.

Yes, noodles.

I know zucchini noodles may sound... well... not very good and a far cry from the real thing. But even my vegetable hating son will eat these and asked me if he can have them for his birthday breakfast.

(I think he still get's confused on what time of day the meal called 'breakfast' is eaten but I'll take it!)

They are the same texture as noodles and have a very mild taste so they take on the flavor of whatever you are cooking with. Zucchini is in season right now and available at just about any fruit stand in your area.

Not to mention it's cheap! Even buying it organic won't break the budget. 

Today's post is a simple, step by step on how to make zucchini noodles. I will refer back to it in the future with recipes to go along with the prepared noodles and you can use them anyway that you would normally prepare pasta.

ENJOY!

Elizabeth

PS: If you have any questions on how to prepare them, feel free to leave a comment and I'm happy to help!

HOW TO MAKE ZUCCHINI "NOODLES"

WHAT YOU WILL NEED:

Zucchini (if you are serving it as a main course, I would recommend at least 2-3 per person)

Sea Salt

Julienne Peeler

Potato Peeler

*if you don't have a julienne peeler, a potato peeler will work. Although I highly recommend a julienne peeler because it will make you job super easy and create better noodles. They can be found at any kitchen store and some grocery stores for about $9.

STEP #1:

Wash and peel the green skin off the zucchini with the potato peeler.

STEP #2:

Hold on to the head of the zucchini and place the julienne peeler at the top of the zucchini. Gentle press down and drag the peeler to the end. You will instantly have a strip of noodles!

Repeat this until you get to the center and start to see seeds. Then flip it over and do the same thing on the other side of the zucchini.

STEP #3:

Preheat your oven to 200F.

Line a baking sheet (or two, depending on how much you are making) with paper towels and spread the noodles over the baking sheet evenly.

Sprinkle with sea salt.

STEP #4:

Place the baking sheet of noodles in the oven for 30 minutes. I promise the paper towels won't catch on fire!

This causes the noodles to "sweat" and release a lot of their water which will prevent your dish from becoming watery when you cook the noodles.

STEP #5:

Remove the baking sheets from the oven and let them cool for a few minutes.

Then, pick up the paper towels, wrap them around the noodles and squeeze out the liquid. You will be amazed at how much water you get out of them!

STEP #6:

At this point they are ready to cook whenever you are ready to eat them. You can saute them in your oil of choice for about 6-7 minutes or you can simmer them in a sauce and allow them to soften.

They are also good raw if you skip the oven process and turn them into a summer salad. Recipe for that coming soon!

A FEW MORE THINGS ABOUT THEM:

1. They can be prepped ahead of time and kept in the fridge until you are ready to cook them. They are a bit labor intensive so I like to prep them in the morning so dinner is quicker at night.

2. They do shrink down quite a bit when cooked, so make more then you think you will need.

3. They taste good as leftovers so make extra for lunch the next day!

ENJOY!

Once upon a time much, much different than ours, there lived a beautiful young woman. Her home was nestled in the hills of a land filled with scented cedar forests, rolling meadows, and dancing streams. Cave-like caverns had been carved into rock outcroppings where artisan wells offered cool respite on hot summer afternoons.

Every day Rebekah gathered at the well with other women of the region to fill jars full of refreshing water. These friends laughed and splashed and dreamed out loud of the love and adventure they hoped would come their way.

And every day Rebekah left those fleeting magical moments just a little more lonely.

What is wrong with me? She wondered.

Why do my insides ache with need?

Why can’t I be content like the other girls?

They seem so satisfied with all the same dreams— to catch the eye of one of the boys we have always known, to marry and bear his babies and stay right here.

To stay the same, always the same.

Why can’t I want that too?

Why do my dreams leave me bereft of hope?

Often she would cry in the lap of the nurse who had cared for her since infancy.  An old woman now, she was full of that fiercely loyal love that pulses through the veins of a lifetime caretaker. And she was the only one who understood.

One sweltering evening as the scorching desert sun finally inched its way behind the sacred mountains, Rebekah hurried to the well to fill the earthen jars with fresh water. She loved this time of day, a chance to leave the stifling tents, to splash refreshing liquid over her dusty face, to get away from the monotony of reality.

As Rebekah emerged from the hallowed out cave entry to the well, her water jars sloshing, feet slipping in the red mud, she spotted a strange man waiting. He looked old, wizened, and very, very hot.

Please, he said in a sand choked voice, will you give me a drink?

Certainly, sir, and she lowered her jug for him to drink.

Sympathizing with his obvious exhaustion, Rebekah offered to fetch water for his camels as well. Their plaintive moans making their need obvious.

Down she ran to the bubbling water, then up again with the heavy jar.  The camels drank deeply, forcing Rebekah back again and again for more of the desert treasure. When the camels were finally satiated, the servant silently held out a gift.

In his hand, lay a glittering nose ring and two intricately carved gold bracelets. Their beauty took her breath away.

For me? But, but, why?

All the man would tell her was that he came from far away and needed a place to rest for the night. Hurrying to her brother’s house, Rebekah showed him the treasures and recounted the story of the strange traveler.

Laban saw the opportunity for what it was— a chance to earn some much needed gold. He welcomed the man in, eager to know his business.

To Rebekah’s utter surprise, the strange servant told a mystical story of an enormously wealthy father from far away who had sent his servant to find a worthy wife for his son and heir. The servant seemed certain that Rebekah met all criteria his master had requested.

Would she pack her things and mount his camels and come away with him?

A home of her own to care for, a man of her own to love, a life away from the dreariness of her daily life— she practically ran for the camel train.

Was this it? A fleeting chance to embrace adventure? To break away from the everyday? Dare she link her life to a man she’d never met? A man different than all the boys who’d filled her charmed childhood?

Everything in Rebekah’s soul cried yes!

In a flurry of planning and packing, Rebekah, with her much loved nurse beside her, faced her future with all the courage of a beautiful woman awaiting her prince.

On the dusty camel ride to her unknown home, Rebekah had plenty of time to regret her impulsivity. Yet the sheer newness of her ever-changing surroundings kept her looking forward, searching for the future she’d only dreamed of.

What little she knew about this man who would be her husband intrigued her. He was an only child, coddled by both his mother and his father.  With a rich heritage of faith and wealth beyond her wildest imaginings, Isaac was certainly the most eligible bachelor she’d ever heard of.

This was a fantasy way beyond what she had dreamed. A love story so delicious it read like a fairy tale. She was on her way to meet her Prince Charming and to live happily ever after.

By the time the caravan’s journey was drawing near to her new husband’s home, Rebekah could barely sit upright in the saddle. Every bone ached, her hair felt like a ratted mess of dust and sweat. Covered head to toe, Rebekah felt more like an ancient mummy than the beautiful bride of a rich prince.

Her frequent groanings and persistent complaints finally induced the servant to stop short of their goal. Their camp that night edged the graveled banks of a shallow river. With her nurse providing cover, Rebekah slipped into the cool water with a sigh of relief. Luxurating in the moon lit moment of privacy, she allowed herself just a moment to imagine what lay ahead.

Would her husband approve of the servant’s choice? Would he be kind? Gentle?

Looking at the whiteness of her skin she wondered what he would think of her?  Would her body please him? Would he want her? No man had ever glimpsed so much as a hint of the form of her womanhood, encased in great swathes of cloth as she always was.

What would it be like to unveil herself to this stranger?

Thinking about the story the servant had told her of Isaac’s deep grieving for his mother who had so recently died, Rebekah’s sympathetic nature longed to love the pain away— to ease the ache by wrapping him in her arms and drawing him close.

The next day brought hope on the horizon. Her new family’s fields lay everywhere she looked. Lush and growing, straight rows pushed out of the tilled earth, bursting with promise. Here was a heritage of hard work, evidence of men who went after their own dreams. Rebekah’s respect for her soon-to-be-husband grew with each step of her weary camel.

Who was that in the distance? Why was her heart pounding so? Could it be him?

Quickly, she slid off the side of the lumbering giant, straightening her garment. Rummaging through her bag, she hurriedly threw off the yards of dusty linen, replacing her covering with a delicately woven veil. Her wedding veil.

She would walk on her own two feet to meet her prince. No hiding for her! She would face this man who held her future in his hands. Mustering all the grace she could manage, Rebekah met Isaac as he came across the field in the waning light.

What she saw nearly took her breath away. Isaac was nothing like the boys who had her filled her childhood with laughter and annoyance. Before her stood a man with the callused hands and broad shoulders of one whose life was spent working.

But what caught her heart were those eyes that barely looked her way. Sad eyes, brimming with deep grief. Every part of her being longed to reach out and soothe that sadness away.

But first the servant must tell his story. Every agonizing detail. When would he ever stop? Isaac kept glancing her way. Catching her staring at him. The slightest smile. Was that a dimple?

On and on the servant droned until Rebekah thought she’d burst. When Isaac cleared his throat, sitting up straight as if to speak, the servant fell silent. Ah! The ceremony. Of course.

Hurriedly, as if to get it over with as quickly as possible, the servant recited the words that would bind Isaac and Rebekah together for the rest of their lives. The timbre of his voice intrigued her as he recited the ancient promises.

Hidden behind her veil, Rebekah could only wish for a chance to know the kind of love she dreamed of. What would he think of her? Could he be as full of fear and wonder and hope as she?

Leading her to his tent, his hand barely brushing her back, Rebekah’s knees nearly gave way. So soon! Before she could fall, Isaac reached for her, holding her to himself. He stopped.

Rebekah, are you afraid? 

Yes, yes— no! No, of course not.

Isaac’s whole being stilled. Gently, firmly, he turned her towards another tent, one set aside from the cluster of the camp.

Let’s go in here instead. This was my mother’s tent, you’ll feel safe here. 

Brushing aside the heavily draped opening, Isaac ushered his bride into a place of wonder and beauty. Her breath caught as she unwrapped the lacy fabric that hid her face— a palace in the middle of this manly camp! Rich tapestries lined the walls, piles of soft furs beckoned. Rebekah’s soul responded to the invitation of warmth and welcome.

Turning to Isaac, Rebekah knew without words that his giving of this gift was as unexpected to her husband as it was to her. An offering of tenderness, of protection, of understanding... of love.

Now it was her turn to give. To offer him her beauty. To bring her whole self to her husband, without borders or boundaries or inhibition or fear.

This man who grieved— yet gave that grief to her in a moment of unselfish intimacy. She would give herself fully to him. She would ease his pain. She would invite him into the depths of herself with joy and abandon.

And so Isaac loved Rebekah there. And Rebekah brought him the comfort only she could offer. A comfort that healed the brokenness of his hurting and brought hope again.

Genesis 24

(my version)

From my heart,

Diane

Girls, I hope you enjoyed my imaginings. And I hope you will read the real story for yourselves— especially that last benediction, verse 67. Because tucked into that last phrase lies a secret every woman should know.

Do you see it?

Have you grasped the immeasurable power of a woman to be a beautiful hiding place for her husband?  A refuge and relief from all the hurts and pressures and fears and worries that dog their steps?

Have you understood, at last, the deepest need of your man? To be embraced and loved in the way only you can love him?

Will you be that safe place for the man God gave you?

More on this next week… and please, your vulnerable words of comment are compelling me to dive deeper into expressing the words of what we all want— the way to a richer and fuller intimacy and joy.

From my heart,

Diane

Ruth 4v18-22

Epilogue (Part Four)

(Click here to listen to the seventh Ruth teaching)

Verse of the Week

“THEREFORE COMFORT ONE ANOTHER WITH THESE WORDS.” 1 Thessalonians 4v18

More Words from the Father

1 John 4v7-5v21

1 Thessalonians 4v13-5v11

From my Heart

You

We’ve read the stories of Ruth and Naomi, Boaz and Orpah, Elimelech and his sons. Add to that mix King Eglon, Rahab, Salmon, Tamar, and several others. In the process, I’ve told you about me - my fears and my failures, my life and loves. But what about your story?

I’ve gathered together ten questions for you. Ten queries about who you are and who you want to be. I’ve left no room for you to fill in the blanks, for these are thinking questions – the kind you bring before the Father in those quiet, questioning hours before life’s pressures push you through your day.

I would urge you to ponder prayerfully. Think about your relationships, examine the way you use your time. Every once in a while we need to take stock of our lives and make sure we are who we want to be, that we’re doing what our Redeemer redeemed us for. After all, your story will end someday too.

From my heart,

Diane

Ten Questions

1. Who am I?

2. Who do I want to be?

3. What’s stopping me from being who I want to be?

4. What do I need to do now?

5. What kind of woman do I want to be when I’m old?

6. Who do I want to miss me when I’m gone?

7. Who needs more of me now?

8. How can I organize my life to make this happen?

9. Where does God fit into my wants and wishes?

10. Am I going after God with every ounce of my being?

ETC

Tamar’s Story

Tamar was Perez’s mother. Her story reads like a desperate soap opera set in the middle of the great patriarchal biographies. It is an ugly story, filled with deception and danger. This is not a history to be proud of. So why is it here? Why highlight this particular tragedy by including it in both David’s and Jesus’ genealogies? What is there about this story that the Author of the Scriptures wanted to be sure to communicate to us?

The story starts with Judah, one of the twelve sons of Israel, separating himself from his family. He is appalled at the shameful plot he got involved in to sell his brother, Joseph, into slavery in Egypt. Watching his father grieve over the loss of his younger son was Judah’s undoing. Instead of staying to face the consequences, Judah ran from his family in a futile attempt to forget his guilt. While away, he met a woman, married her, and started a family.

His firstborn son, Er, needed a wife so Judah found him a Canaanite bride by the name of Tamar. Because of his evil ways, God chose to take Er’s life, leaving Tamar a childless widow.

Following the levirate practice, Judah demanded that his next son marry Tamar, which he did with great reluctance. Onan took advantage of Tamar’s situation by enjoying the privileges of sexual pleasure for himself but “spilling his seed” in order to prevent her from getting pregnant. God took him too.

By now Judah is looking on Tamar with suspicion. Two sons dead on their honeymoon! Making promises he has no intention of keeping, he sends Tamar back home to her father’s house to wait for his next son to grow up. Years pass. Tamar knows that her future is sealed if she does not get a son soon. So she concocts a deception of her own. Knowing that Judah is now a widower, she dresses up like a prostitute and offers herself to him in exchange for payment. Without so much as a twinge of conscience, Judah has sex with the disguised Tamar for the price of a goat. She gets pregnant.

Three months later, a rumor reaches Judah that his ex-daughter-in-law is pregnant with an illegitimate baby. Outraged, Judah demands her death by burning. When Tamar is roughly dragged in front of him to be humiliated before her death, she rises up to bring evidence that it is Judah himself who is the father of this child.

Silenced and humbled, Judah acknowledges his sin in the matter and saves her life. Soon after, Tamar gives birth to twin boys. One of them, Perez, is named in the family of King David, and hundreds of years later, in the genealogy of Jesus.

“…But still there was no helper just right for him.

So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

“At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! 
She will be called ‘woman’
, because she was taken from ‘man.’”

This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

 Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.”

Genesis 2:20-25 NLT

(If you missed last week, click here)

Dear girls,

When Adam first laid eyes on Eve, his attraction to her was instant. Her beauty lifted him out of a state of deep sleep, propelling him to want her as his own. She was the perfect counterpart to his maleness, the answer to all the loneliness he’d felt for so long.

The power of Adam’s response to Eve shook him to his core, revealing his deep vulnerability.

A man in command of all of Creation, he craved physical and emotional and spiritual connection with this one so like himself... yet so deliberately, delightfully different.

Everything made sense when Eve came into his life: the longings he’d wondered about, the twinges of emptiness, the shape of his body, his driving desire for more.

For the first time in his existence, Adam needed someone. And every son of Adam since has felt that same need.

And you, my dear, beautiful daughter of Eve, are the one made in the image of God, the one who holds Adam’s sacred need— his great vulnerability— in your power. Your God-created beauty lifts him from the weariness of work and struggle and striving and conflict… into a world of wonder and delight.

When the softness of your skin brushes his in a whisper of invitation, every sense is awakened.

When your eyes tell secrets only he knows, his heart responds.

When you bring him into the circle of your warmth, wrapping your arms around his strength, his carefully protected core is unveiled.

Your man needs you. He wants you. He hurts without you.

And perhaps that is part of the reason why the Creator gave us so many words about safeguarding this treasure of sexual intimacy. Because the act of intercourse was meant to be so much more than two bodies selfishly seeking satisfaction. So much more than all the hurt and pain so many misused women know. Infinitely  more magical and mysterious than the movies show and magazines reveal.

And so, my dear girls, in the weeks and months ahead, I will set aside my natural reticence to talk to you from time to time about the way God designed your husband’s intense sexual cravings to be satisfied by you. And about how He created you with the same need, though awakened in different ways, so that you would find release and rest and deep satisfaction in the arms of your husband.

And for those of you who are not yet married, I hope to open your heart to understand the treasure you hold in your own beauty. I want you to understand why storing that treasure in a safe place for your husband-to-be is the best way to fully embrace your own sexuality. I want you to know that protecting your purity is the surest way to be able to fully and without inhibition give yourself to that God-chosen man when the time is right.

This is not easy for me to write about. What if I am misunderstood? What if my words add shame to a woman’s guilt? What if I say it wrong or crass or weird?

It was one thing to sit on the edge of my daughter’s bed at night and whisper sweet wonders about the honeymoon ahead… and quite another to let those words leak out to whoever may be listening.

The reason I am willing to choke back my reserve and push the words on paper is first of all because I genuinely love you. As the apostle Paul wrote, “It is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a very special place in my heart…” Philippians 1:7 NLT

And I believe that in the midst of all the devastation and failure and addiction and sheer ugliness of sexual perversion, the Church has lost her voice.  We have forgotten to speak and sing and teach about the beauty and the artistry of sexuality as God created it.

A very long way to say, I think its time for us to talk about sex.

Can we readjust the way we think about this gift? Can we begin to see ourselves as the beautiful answer to our husband’s great vulnerability? Dare we believe that the love we give is sacred?

Next week I want to tell you a story about a beautiful woman whose pure, uninhibited love lifted her young husband out of despair and into a life of success and riches.  And lo and behold, it’s a story straight out of the pages of Scripture…

Are you with me? Will you give me grace to stumble my way along as we talk “privately” about how to love our husbands in the way they long to be loved?

Will you let me know? I’m writing alone in my chair by the window, wondering what in the world I’ve gotten myself into…

From my heart,

Diane

Ruth 4v18-22

Epilogue (Part Three)

(Click here to listen to the seventh Ruth teaching)

Verse of the Week

“FOR THE EYES OF THE LORD MOVE TO AND FRO THROUGHOUT THE EARTH THAT HE MAY STRONGLY SUPPORT THOSE WHOSE HEART IS COMPLETELY HIS.” 2 Chronicles 16v9 NASB

More Words from the Father

Psalm 139

1 Corinthians 9v24-10v15

From my Heart

The End

This week our story has ended. The characters we have grown to love are gone. Ruth, Boaz, and even Naomi are silent. Simply a memory.

Yet the list of names tacked on at the end - that genealogy which we so easily skip over -represents real lives, people who lived and loved and made history.

When someday my life falls silent, I’ll leave a list as well. John Mark, Tammy, Jude, Moses, Sunday, Rebekah and Steve, Elizabeth, Brook, Duke, Scarlet and Matt. My sons and daughters. My grandkids. Maybe even a few extras grafted in. All people who will live and love and make history themselves.

The story is never really over. God started something way back in Genesis which is not ever going to be finished. There is no “The End.”

You will leave a legacy. And it is the cry of my heart that our stories -yours and mine- will be included in the annuls of the Kingdom just as Ruth and Boaz and Naomi’s were. That someday when we gather together in that place we’ll call home, you and I will sit down and read those histories together. They will, no doubt, be edited by His great grace. A few spots may well be covered over by His beautiful blood. And, my dear sisters, I think we might be surprised to find that the ending reads something like this:

“And they lived happily ever after…”

From my heart,

Diane

ETC

Ruth and the Feast of Pentecost

It is the ancient custom of devout Jews to read the story of Ruth during the Shavout, the Feast of Pentecost. This Jewish holiday occurs exactly seven weeks, or 50 days, after the Passover. The name Pentecost comes from the Greek word for “fiftieth,” and signifies the gathering of the wheat harvest. Why Ruth is read during this festival, no one knows for sure. Perhaps the connection to harvest with Ruth’s gleaning brought this story into the celebrations. Today, orthodox Jews give thanks to God for bringing His Word, the Torah, to His people during the Shavout celebrations. Here is what they say about Ruth:

“As a result of her embrace of Torah, Ruth’s life was utterly transformed. She rose from the existence of a penniless and barren widow, facing a miserable present and a bleak future, to a life of spiritual richness and fulfillment, leaving an eternal mark as the progenitor of the Davidic dynasty.”

You are all in for a treat this week... literally! Fallon is back sharing a recipe for some ridiculously good cookies.

A few weeks ago I opened my front door to find a beautiful box filled with these cookies fresh out of the oven and a note from Fallon. They were instantly devoured and throughly enjoyed! Needless to say, Fallon made our day.

Don't let the quinoa throw you off... these cookies won't disappoint!

ENJOY!

Elizabeth

Hi Friends,

I’m excited to be back and sharing a new recipe with you today! If you are anything like me a warm, fresh-out-of-the-oven cookie always seems to be calling my name. (I may have even convinced my husband it’s one of my love languages.) Unfortunately, It’s not always easy to find a good and healthy cookie with food limitations.

Having recently moved to the suburbs, my husband and I are conveniently living with Whole Foods in our backyard. After perusing the bakery many times at Whole Foods and practically drooling over all their yummy treats, I quickly came to love the Peanut Butter Quinoa cookie by Cravin Raven Bakery in Southeast, Portland.

However, I also quickly came to learn that some of my favorite bakery treats weren’t so friendly to my budget. I decided to get creative in the kitchen and come up with my own version of the Peanut Butter Quinoa Cookie, but adding some chocolate on top. Because who doesn’t like to add chocolate to a cookie? After some trail and error, I think I’ve finally settled on this delicious and full of protein recipe.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Fallon

P.S. If you have a great recipe for cookies, please share with the rest of us! Also, make sure to join in on Instagram and tag you food photos with #hespeaksthekitchen.

CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER QUINOA COOKIES

gluten free, dairy free, soy free

Ingredients:

1/2 cup of oat flour

1 cup of quinoa flakes (these can be found at Whole Foods or New Seasons and look like this)

1/2 cup of gluten-free oats

3/4 cup of peanut butter

1/2 cup of maple syrup

1/8 tsp of sea salt

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp of baking soda

1 tsp of baking powder

1 flax seed "egg" (1 tbs flex seed + 3 tbs water)

Optional Topping:

3/4 cup chocolate chips

1 tbs of maple syrup

To Make:

1. Pre-heat oven to 350.

2. Mix together flax seed egg and set aside.

3. Mix together dry ingredients: oat flour, quinoa flakes, gluten-free oats, baking soda, and baking powder, sea salt and set aside.

4. Mix together wet ingredients: maple syrup, vanilla, and flax seed egg.

5. Begin to add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and mix together until the dough is fully mixed.

6. Roll into balls on caking sheet and flatten (I used a mason jar!).

7. Bake for 12-15 minutes. Keep an eye on them though, as you want them to be light brown.

8. Heat the chocolate chips and maple syrup in a pan on low heat. Stirring every 20-30 seconds to make sure the chocolate doesn’t burn.

9. After removing the cookies from the oven and letting them cool, you can drizzle or full cover them with chocolate over the top.

10. Now they are ready to be served with a glass of almond milk or you favorite summer drink.

All photos by Bethany Small

 [print_this]

CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER QUINOA COOKIES

gluten free, dairy free, soy free

Ingredients:

1/2 cup of oat flour

1 cup of quinoa flakes

1/2 cup of gluten-free oats

3/4 cup of peanut butter

1/2 cup of maple syrup

1/8 tsp of sea salt

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp of baking soda

1 tsp of baking powder

1 flax seed egg (1 tbs flex seed + 3 tbs water)

Optional:

3/4 cup chocolate chips

1 tbs of maple syrup

To Make: 

1. Pre-heat oven to 350.

2. Mix together flax seed egg and set aside.

3. Mix together dry ingredients: oat flour, quinoa flakes, gluten-free oats, baking soda, and baking powder, sea salt and set aside.

4. Mix together wet ingredients: maple syrup, vanilla, and flax seed egg.

5. Begin to add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and mix together until the dough is fully mixed.

6. Roll into balls on caking sheet and flatten (I used a mason jar!).

7. Bake for 12-15 minutes. Keep an eye on them though, as you want them to be light brown.

8. Heat the chocolate chips and maple syrup in a pan on low heat. Stirring every 20-30 seconds to make sure the chocolate doesn’t burn.

9. After removing the cookies from the oven and letting them cool, you can drizzle or full cover them with chocolate over the top.

10. Now they are ready to be served with a glass of almond milk or you favorite summer drink.

[/print_this]

My child, listen to what I say…tune your ears to wisdom,
and concentrate on understanding.

Cry out for insight, 
and ask for understanding.

Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures.

Then you will understand what is right… and you will find the right way to go.

For wisdom will enter your heart,
 and knowledge will fill you with joy…

Proverbs 2:1-11 NLT

My dear girls,

Once upon a time… I thought loving a man was simple.

I was so sure of myself— certain I knew what to do, how to be. I’d read the fairy tales; admired Rapunzel’s allure, seen the Beauty love the Beast back to himself, watched in wonder as Snow White came fully alive.

I could do this too. I could love a man and keep on loving him for a lifetime. Our love would be so full and so generous and so beautiful as to wrap us up in romance forever and ever.

And I was wrong. I fumbled from the get-go. A month into our marriage I knew my methods weren’t working the way I’d thought they would. My formulas were falling apart and I didn’t know what to do... so I just did the best I could. And it wasn’t enough.

Now, thirty-five years of loving later…  I know why my loving fell short.

And it wasn’t because of lack of effort— I tried hard. I read books and watched people and did all the things I thought I ought to do.

Plain and simple, my loving fell short because of it was mostly about me. About me being loving and loveable and alluring. About me loving him so fiercely that he couldn’t help but return my love with passion and loyalty forever.

And when Phil failed to respond to all my ferocious loving the way I’d been so sure he would…

I got mean.

I got defeated.

I got mad.

I got hurt.

A lot of I messing up the romance I'd imagined. 

Here is the amazing beauty of our Redeemer in the midst of our messiness…

He let’s us fail.

He let me fail. And in that failure, He began to teach me the first lessons of brokenness, of what it means to find my hope and delight and joy in my real Prince Charming.

In Jesus.

In those days of defeated loving, I stumbled upon a jewel of a book. It’s still one of my treasured favorites, written by a man who knew what he was talking about- Roy Hession. In The Calvary Road, he wrote:

The Lord Jesus cannot live in us fully and reveal Himself through us until the proud self is broken.  This simply means that the hard unyielding self, which justifies itself, wants its own way, stands up for its rights,  and seeks its own glory, at last bows its head to God’s will, admits its wrong, gives up its own way to Jesus, surrenders its rights and discards its own glory— that the Lord Jesus might have all and be all.

In other words, it is dying to self and self-attitudes.

As this stubborn, perfectionist, idealist, determined woman began to yield and break and die, something strange occurred in my soul.

A desire began to grow; a pulsing, driving desire to love my husband for the sake of my Savior. Not for me and what I expected to receive in return— but just for the One who was so tenderly drawing me close to Himself.

Rather than renew my self-efforts of trying so hard to love the way I thought I should, He began to teach me how to love my husband His way.

And that led me to understand why my loving had not produced the response I’d expected.

In one word: ignorance.

I didn’t have a clue how to love a man— my man— the way God had designed him to be loved. All that work and I was missing it!

And I think I’m not alone in my ignorance. I think most women are missing it— not by a mile, but by just a few millimeters of mis-done loving. We’re loving in the ways we know how and wondering why it’s not enough. Why our men don’t act and feel lavishly loved by us.

And then, as women are prone to do, we think there must be something wrong with him.

Of course.

And all this defeat over not quite getting it right, and wondering why and what’s wrong with him and with me and with us, led me to that age-old invitation imbedded in the book of James:

If any of you is deficient in wisdom,

let him ask of the giving God (who gives) to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding,

and it will be given to him.

James 1v5 Amplified Bible

That’s me!

Deficient in wisdom.

Ignorant and knowing it.

Falling far short of the kind of love I’d always imagined would wrap my man’s heart up tight.

And so I went searching. I asked this giving-God for wisdom.  I asked Him how to love my man for His sake.

And do you know, my dear girls, He just started pouring it on! Words and phrases, verses and stories, snatches of insight here and there that are opening my eyes to see the way to loving a man well. To loving my man well.

But the best discovery of all has been the simplicity of God’s way. Not as in easy to do— but as in easy to know.

Going back over and over to the Scriptures, asking Him for wisdom, searching for the treasures there, I’d hoped to find a whole long list of ways to love a man well.

I found only four.  Four ways the Creator of men specifically directs women to love their husbands.  Not 101— just four. Yet within those four ways He designed our men to be loved, are hundreds and thousands of possibilities.

And so, over the next several weeks- all summer, probably— that’s what we’ll be talking about here on Mondays. And for just a hint of what’s ahead… here are the four:

Sexuality and friendliness and help and respect…

Be his lover, be his friend, be his partner, be his admirer.

I can hardly wait to get this conversation started...because, after all these years, I’m finally understanding how my husband needs to be loved by me. And guess what? He’s eating it up! As in responding like… well, like a well-loved man.

From my heart,

Diane

Okay girls, whether you're married or still waiting for the right one and the right time, now is the time to learn how to love a man God's way. Can you tell us what you know? Or who you've seen do this well? I'm hoping for some guest posts from women who've become experts in the art of loving wisely.

Ruth 4v18-22

Epilogue (Part Two)

(Click here to listen to the next Ruth teaching)

Verse of the Week

“BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS!” Joshua 1v9 NASB

More Words from the Father

Joshua 2

Joshua 6v21-27

Hebrews 11v30-40

James 2v20-26

1 Peter 3v4-6

From my Heart

What is it You Want?

Rahab was a woman who knew how to get what she wanted. And what she wanted was what we all want: security, wealth, recognition, family, influence, health, and safety. One thing was missing from her list, though - love. Rahab was willing to sacrifice love in order to get her grasp around every opportunity that came her way. And she had that rare inborn entrepreneurial ability to recognize opportunity which can make certain men and women wildly successful. In our day, I have no doubt Rahab would have been heralded among the rich and famous. Paparazzi would have hounded her while People magazine splashed her face and figure on the cover page.

Yet reading her story, I can’t help but wonder - What happened to Rahab that propelled her into prostitution? Why would this woman give up on the dream of being pursued and sought and valued? How could Rahab choose wealth over love? Security over romance?

And why would I?

Why would I sell my soul for cheap trinkets?

I want everything that Rahab wanted. I want security. I want to feel safe. I want to know that I will have all I need and maybe a little more all the way up until its time for me to go home to heaven. And I want wealth too, sure I do. Be honest with yourself, you do too! I am far from content with the bare basics. I want to be healthy, wealthy, and wise - surrounded by a family who adores me. Is that so bad?

Maybe...

If those wants and wishes drive me to pursue them at the cost of love. If, instead of surrendering my life’s circumstances to the One who loves me like no other, I strive and connive to get what I want no matter what.

How about you? What have you sacrificed to get what you want? What you think you need? Have you lost a little of your passion for your Redeemer along the way?

If you have, then this story is your story.

Somewhere deep inside, Rahab held on to a tiny spark of hope for something more. When she heard about the Israelites camped down the road, and about their God who had such power, that spark leapt into a raging fire. The moment she got her chance to come under the protection of this God, Rahab risked everything she had. All her wealth, her home, her security, her reputation, and her safety. Even her family! How could she know if they would go along with her plan?

Rahab’s life was transformed by the power of faith. She thrust herself at God’s feet and got up to aggressively go after Him with every ounce of her being. And in so doing, Rahab’s life was rescued from all the ugliness and emptiness she had filled it with.

God is still in the habit of rescuing broken women. What He loved about Rahab - enough to put her into His son’s heritage - was her unerring trust in His goodness. Rahab risked everything of value to her in order to belong to Him. She proved her faith by her actions. She set aside her fear, her worries and her illicit patterns of self-protection in order to entrust herself to God.

I can’t help but admire this woman. And, strange as it may be to say it, I find myself wanting to be like this ex-prostitute (please don’t tell my kids I said that!). She is both bold and beautiful, courageous and crafty. Rahab, more than any woman I know, had the guts to go after God with her whole heart.

And that’s something to think about.

From my heart,

Diane

ETC

Rahab’s Story

Rahab was a successful woman. She ran a thriving hotel, entertained powerful men, had the attention of her city-state’s ruling monarch, invested in the growing commodity market of linen, and owned a house which was the envy of every woman in town.

How do I know all that? Well, read up on her in Joshua, chapter 2.

Two spies were sent by Israel’s new leader, Joshua, to spy out the city of Jericho. With the million-strong encampment of the Hebrews camped uncomfortably close to the walled city, security in Jericho was at level red. In order to slip in unobtrusively, these two spies made their way to the bustling hospitality business Rahab ran from her home.

In a day when there were no Comfort Inns, Rahab took advantage of her city’s strategic location at the only major ford between the Jabbok River and the Dead Sea. She regularly took in travelers, no doubt charging them exorbitant prices for her enviable location.

And sometimes she did more than give them a room. She gave herself – for a price. Rahab watched her nest egg grow at the expense of her soul. Somehow she managed to harden her heart against the inner loathing every woman feels when she sells her body in exchange for survival.

Rahab was ambitious. She wanted more. Seeing the rising trade in linen from far away Egypt, she figured out a way to obtain the stalks of flax from which fine linen was made. The flat roof of her house rising high above the city made a precipitous place to process the tough fibers. First soaking them in water, then dragging them to the rooftop to soak in the sun was not a task for the timid. But Rahab wasn’t afraid of hard work. She was driven by the insatiable thirst for more.

Protecting all those assets in a male dominated society kept Rahab’s stress level on alert at all times. When a rumor reached her ears that the march of the dreaded Hebrews was headed her way, she took inventory of all she owned and searched for a solution. The power of the Hebrew god was too great to stand against.

Never before had Rahab heard of one god who controlled the weather and the sea and all the natural world. The gods of her experience were puny, competitive deities who were easily appeased with rituals and sacrifice. Listening to the city leaders debate strategy, Rahab knew they didn’t stand a chance against such power. Let them talk all they want, she would do what she must to secure her future.

Rahab’s vigilance apparently paid off. The Hebrew spies sought lodging in her home.

As a logical location to blend in with other travelers. It didn’t take Rahab long to see through their disguise, nor did it take long for rumors of their whereabouts to reach the ears of the king of Jericho.

As Rahab hurried to hide the men amongst the flax on her roof, she must have weighed her options. Turn them over to the authorities and incur the king’s favor with its lucrative reward, or hide the men at great risk to her life in the hopes that they would be obligated to return the favor if and when the Hebrews attacked. She chose the latter.

Their hiding place would not have endeared her to these men. The stalks of flax were soggy, having been soaked in stagnant water to separate the fibers. It would have been a ripe incubator of all sorts of insects. The unbearable stench choked the men as they lay in the midst of the mess wondering if Rahab had led them into a trap.

But Rahab had made up her mind, and when she decided something, she didn’t back down. Downstairs, she used all her cunning and probably a few feminine wiles to convince the guards that she had seen the spies heading out the gate near her home, headed for the hills. The soldiers set out after the phantom men as the city gate was lowered behind them.

Before Rahab led the spies to safety, she gathered her years of business acumen to negotiate a contract which would ensure security for herself and her family. Letting the spies down the massive wall with a woven rope put Rahab in a position to bargain - her life in exchange for their safe escape. When the Israelites attacked the city, Rahab would set out an identifying strand of scarlet cord. This was to be the signal that her house and her entire family were to remain under the direct protection of the men whose lives she had saved.

Sure enough, on the day of the invasion, Joshua directed his men to “go into the harlot’s house and bring the woman and all she has out of there, as you have sworn to them.” As her city was being ransacked, Rahab was led to safety, bringing not only her family with her, but also “all she had.”

What now? They couldn’t live alone on the outskirts of the ruins of Jericho. Once again, Rahab’s forward thinking saved the day. The family followed the Israelites, living at first on the outer edges of their encampment. At some point however, Rahab must have embraced the God of the Hebrews for whom she held such great respect. Though the men of Israel were not permitted to associate with the women of the foreign lands they were invading, they could marry one who converted to their faith. One of these men, a man by the name of Salmon, chose Rahab to be his bride. Elevated from her former reputation as a harlot, Rahab now had full legal and social protection as his wife.

A nice story, you might say. Indeed, but it gets even better.

Rahab and her family are absorbed into the wandering nation of Israel. She settles in a little town called Bethlehem, married to a man of standing. There, Rahab begins a family of her own, eventually bearing a son by the name of Boaz. When Boaz grows up, he follows in the footsteps of his father and finds a wife of somewhat shady heritage but stalwart character (that would be Ruth). She presents him with a son, whose name is Obed.

As Rahab’s physical beauty gives way to wrinkles and grey hair, the beauty of her life lived under the protection of Yahweh blossoms. Her grandson grows up to have a son of his own, whom he names Jesse. Around the family hearth, Jesse hears stories of his great-grandmother’s courage and his great-grandfather’s love for her. Jesse has seven sons of his own. The youngest, born long after Rahab has passed into the presence of God, grows up to be the king of Israel.

By this time, Rahab’s story is but a distant memory - her name left out of the patriarchal genealogies of Hebrew history. But God has a way of remembering His own. In the opening pages of the biography of His Son, God inserts Rahab’s name into Jesus’ biological line of descent. There it is, right in the forefront of Jesus’ family tree - Rahab. It’s almost as if God is proud of her!

Jump ahead a few decades, and her name pops up again. In that famous tribute to men and women of great faith, Hebrews, chapter 11, we see this inscription: “By faith Rahab the harlot did not perish along with those who were disobedient, after she welcomed the spies in peace.”

Flip over a few pages to the epistle of James and Rahab is once again used as a fine example of faith that works. This woman’s sordid story is told all over the pages of our Bibles! Why? Because Rahab was real. Like us, she struggled. Like us, Rahab’s life was all about choices - both good and bad. Some of those choices came back to haunt her. But in the end, she had the guts to follow her heart – right to her Redeemer.

I can’t help but wonder, as I study her story, if Rahab had any idea that God would use her so? As she picked up the pieces of her shattered life after the fall of Jericho, did she ever despair? Did she think her usefulness was over?

And why did God give us her story? Why stretch it out, this history of harlotry and intrigue? Could He have had Rahab in mind when he wrote in 1 Peter 3 of His “precious” women from former times who put their hope in God?

And one last question:

Could it be that your story could end like hers?

Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest..." Hebrews 4:11

For months and months and months my every-days have been filled to the brim with must-do’s.

I went to sleep most nights knowing the next day was too full to manage but knowing that if I didn’t manage someone would be mad.

Not as in really mad, but that sort of frustrated, somewhat annoyed mad that makes me cringe inside.

And I’ve been the maddest of all. Mad at myself for not keeping up— for the dog hair I didn’t vacumm, the empty fridge of not-home-made food, for not keeping up with running or weights or plucking my eyebrows or answering e-mails.

Mad at myself for the unkempt piles on my desk that hid invitations I couldn’t accept because I was too busy to go and didn’t even send a card to let her know I wish I could but I can’t.

What’s wrong with me?!

And every time I asked that question in frustration at another ball dropped, I knew.

What’s wrong with me is-- I’m doing too much.

More than I am made for.

More than I can do well… and still be nice… and happy.

Do you know what I’m sayin’?

And so today I start a quest for balance in my life. For rest in my every-days. For a pace that works for me, to match the timer God set inside of me, the heart beat that matches mine.

I’m asking Him to show me what He wants me to do. Not what I want to achieve or what others wish I’d manage or what might make me look better than I am.

What do You want, Lord?

And here’s what I keep hearing:

There is a time to pour out everything. To work hard, and be efficient, and say no to other things that don’t matter as much. To achieve is a good thing-- to achieve for the Kingdom, best of all.

Now its time to rest. To lie down in that green meadow beside the quiet stream. To be still. To breath deeply of God’s beauty and find rest there.

And so today I’ve rested in beauty.

I’ve polished silver teaspoons and clipped the first roses dripping fragrance on the arbor. After I gathered armfuls of peonies I walked… rambled really, with my face soaking in that soft spring mist I love.

And then I sat down in my big chair by the window and spent a while reading… a book I’ve read before… and need again. Her quiet words speaking life back into my tired soul.

In a few minutes my quiet will be invaded by five lively, full-of-fun grandkids. I’ll read stories and start a fairytale I’ve been wanting them to relish along with me. I’ll admire Lego creations and waggle my eyebrows with Sunday as we laugh at all those silly boys.

I’ll have all the time they need to be just me…

And you? Are you too tired? Doing too much? Dropping balls and huffing and puffing and not sure why?

Want to join in me in this quest for rest?

I'd love to hear where you're finding that rest... how you're delighting in beauty... how you're learning to set the pace that brings you fullest joy... And I've a feeling there may just be more posts as we learn together to set His pace for our lives...

From my heart,

Diane

Hi Friends! You may have come to the blog this morning looking for a new post in our series called He's Not Your Prince Charming and... well.. there isn't one this week.

Why?

Mom's a bit tired from doing something she's dreamed of doing for many years.

This past weekend my parent's (Phil and Diane Comer) spent two days with hundred's of young parent's pouring real life wisdom into them on how to raise pastionate Jesus followers.

They've spent the past several months working on a training called INTENTIONAL to teach parent's what the scriptures say about raising children who love God with passion and people on purpose.

Lives and future lives where changed this weekend.

Mom will be back next week with a fresh post in the Charming series!

Enjoy the day,

Elizabeth

Ruth 4v18-22

Epilogue (Part One)

(Click here to listen to the seventh teaching of Ruth)

Verse of the Week

“SEEK THE LORD AND HIS STRENGTH: SEEK HIS FACE CONTINUALLY” 1 Chronicles 16v11 NASB

More Word from the Father

1 Corinthians 10v1-14

1 Peter 3v3-6

1 Peter 5v6,7

1 Peter 4v8

1 Corinthians 13

Psalm 23

From my Heart

Who Am I?

“I do not want you to be unaware, brethren…with most of them God was not well-pleased…” (1 Corinthians 10v1, 5)

What a terrible and terrifying indictment! In referring back to “our fathers,” God gives this less-than-satisfactory summary of their lives. Then He gives a list: they craved evil things, they were idolaters, they acted immorally, they grumbled…

Uh-oh, sounds like me. I fit right into that list.

“Now these things happened to them as an example and they were written for our instruction…” (1 Corinthians 10v11)

Okay, I see. Instead of condemning them as hopeless, God writes their stories to show me what I ought to be like and what I should avoid at all costs. Instead of just issuing commands, He gives me examples, both good and bad. And that’s why we study the lives of the men and women recorded in Scripture.

The Old Testament is rich with stories. Between the tragic tales in the book of Judges and the trying escapades recorded in the books of Samuel lies this almost hidden gem of Ruth. Each character is easily identifiable. I can relate to Ruth, grieve with Naomi, give up on Orpah, shun those women around the well, and fall head over heels in love with Boaz. Yet these stories are meant for more than a history lesson. They are intended to instruct us in the ways of Yahweh and in the tendencies of His followers. We would do well to read carefully, to put ourselves in the places the Patriarchs walked, to listen, and to learn.

Let’s take a look at the characters in the story of Ruth to see how we measure up.

Naomi

She let Satan’s lie sink straight to her bones. It’s a lie he’s been using since the beginning of mankind - the idea that God is holding back His goodness; that He just might not have our best interests in mind. That He’s not nice. And as long as she nourished that little tidbit of falsehood, Naomi failed to thrive. She grew bitter and joyless. Hesed was happening all around her and she just couldn’t taste it.

Is that me? Am I feeling sorry for myself? Am I inwardly dissatisfied with God’s provision for me? Is all my worry and fussing an indication that I don’t really, honestly believe that He is able and willing to take care of me and mine?

Ruth

She went after God with the most appealing combination of humility and determination. Nothing would stop her; not the disapproval of people, nor the scolding of Naomi. Not even the looming specter of starvation could deter her. That girl poured every inch of her heart into pursuing God. And in the process, she won over her skeptics. By dying to her dreams, Ruth stepped right under the shadow of the wings of the Almighty, allowing Him to write her happily-ever-after ending.

What about me? Have I grown somewhat lackadaisical in my personal pursuit of God? Kinda lazy? Expecting Him to throw me a bit of wisdom just when I need it instead of storing up His treasures every opportunity I can grab? Am I gleaning - hot and sweaty out in the fields, searching for food?

Orpah

She gave up. Too hot, too hard, she turned back to the easier way. The old way. Orpah turned to the idols she was comfortable with rather than risk following Yahweh. Those idols of her heart gave her a sense of quick satisfaction.

What idols do I turn to? How about you?

A glass of wine, a bowl of ice cream to ease the stress of the day? An ungodly boyfriend? How about a shopping spree to pick me up? Or a mindless movie? What do I turn to? When I am all poured out, how do I fill back up?

The servant in charge

I like this guy. When Boaz inquired about the new worker in the field, the supervisor gave a glowing report about her progress. He made sure that her reputation was unblemished and utterly honest. Not one mention of any unrest among the other workers at her presence. No words of gossip or innuendo. He praised her hard work and let Boaz know that she was a welcome addition to his fields.

Do I do that? Or am I quick to point out the faults and flaws of others? Am I poking my nose in business I really don’t need to know? Can I be depended upon to let other’s share their own stories, knowing when it’s their story to tell and not mine? Am I willing to keep my mouth shut on stuff that doesn’t really matter? Do I believe the best about people?

The women

Twice in the story we hear of them. Once, right at the beginning when Naomi dumps her load of bitterness all over them in an unsolicited display of drama. And then again, right towards the end when they turn around and bless her. These women jump into the story with their own unsolicited commentary, making sure that Naomi knows and notices the good hand of God in her life. They bless God and they bless Naomi in a sort of sing-song vision for her future happiness.

Is that my tendency? Do I listen unjudgmentally when my sisters need to unload on me? Or do I lift my shotgun of Bible verses at them and blast away? These precious friends let Naomi vent without censorship. They listened. They watched. And then they applauded her story, giving God a standing ovation of praise. How must the angels have grinned! Maybe they joined in.

What about my kids? Do I let them question and complain from time to time, or do I shut them down and shame them for their rawness? One thing about the book of Ruth, the Author didn’t leave anything out. Nor did God defend Himself. He just let the story play out to its conclusion, letting lessons be learned little by little, all in good time.

And then of course, there’s Elimelech

He ran. He lost sight of what was most important (his relationship with God) and lost himself in the pursuit of pleasure and plenty. And he died doing it. What about his sons? There’s no telling how old they were when they left the Promised Land to follow their dad to Moab, but they were certainly old enough to decide for themselves to marry those Moabite women. They died too.

Oh, there are lessons to be learned alright. Life lessons to soak in and savor. The book of Ruth is rich with wisdom and insight into the Kingdom of God compared to the comforts of life.

While you read it, lean a little closer and listen carefully.

From my heart,

Diane

ETC

Four Women

The genealogy at the end of Ruth is copied almost verbatim in the genealogy of Jesus found in the first chapter of Matthew. One significant addition, however, differentiates the lists. In Jesus’ genealogy, the names of four women are highlighted - Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and Bathsheba. Why did the author include these four women? The inclusion of any women would have been considered inappropriate at the time of the writing. The place of women in society was downplayed; they were considered insignificant to the story. But these women were something of a black spot on the family tree. Why mention them at all? There must be a reason.

As we delve deeper into their stories, take some time to examine what these tales tell us about the women - and about the God they adopted as their own.

Ten Generations

Perez

Hezron

Ram

Amminadab

Nahshon

Salmon

Boaz

Obed

Jesse

David

All or nothing. That tends to me my approach to… well… everything.

It’s no surprise that my approach to food can be this way as well.

About two years ago I watched the documentary Forks Over Knives and quickly began to adopt a plant based diet. If you haven’t seen it yet (it is available on Netflix), I can’t recommend it enough. Every American needs to watch it and educated themselves on the food we eat! (That’s the all or nothing side of me talking… can you tell?)

We spent the past year and a half or so eating a mostly plant - based diet and we loved it. I, who am not much of a reader, poured over books and blogs learned everything there was to know about eating a plant-based (vegan) diet. I even told myself “I will do this forever!”

My much more balanced husband encouraged me away from putting a label on how we eat and to still have freedom to enjoy other foods ever so often. Wise man I’ve got!

At first I felt pretty good and was loving a whole new world of plants and grains and tastes I had never experienced before. God is such a creative God and has created so much to be enjoyed!

However for about a year I have just felt “off”. I thought it was the addition of a new baby and the lack of sleep that comes along with that but the older she got the worse I felt so I finally went to the doctor to get the bottom of it.

Several doctors and tests later, I have been diagnosed with something called SIBO which is an overgrowth of bacteria in my small intestines which is giving me all sorts of crazy symptoms and making me sick. It is totally treatable and could potentionally clear up years and years of stomach issues and food sensitivities.

Halleluiah!

However… it requires a crazy restrictive diet for an extended period of time. Let’s just say it makes the Paleo diet look like a cakewalk.

(I’m 10 days in… cake sounds really good right now)

Why am I telling you all of this?

A couple of reasons…

#1: There will be a few changes around The Kitchen when it comes to the new recipes that are posted.  Mostly because they will be based of what I am currently cooking in my home on this crazy SIBO diet!

I will be posting more recipes that contain meat, fish and eggs and lots of veggies. I have some friends who will continue to contribute to The Kitchen with plant-based recipes as well so there will be a wider range of recipes coming your way!

#2: I am learning the importance of educating ourselves about the food we eat AND avoiding too many all or nothing extremes when it comes to food.

Once my treatment is over I’m not sure where I will land with the whole world of food but I do know this; God created all foods for our nourishment and for our pleasure. He is a creative God and I want to enjoy His creations this side of Heaven. If we stick to the foods He created (not the man made stuff we have altered quite a bit), we really can’t go wrong.

I am on this journey of learning with you all and I have so much more to learn. My heart and my goal is to inspire you to love real, whole foods and to learn a bit about what you eat in the process.

Today’s recipe was inspired by my sister-in-law, Tammy, who created the tilapia rub and I added the salsa for an extra kick of flavor.

ENJOY!

Elizabeth

PS: I always love to hear what you are enjoying making and what you are learning! I’m inspired by your comments and love it when we start conversations about food!

What have you been cooking lately? Anything you’d like to see posted here on the The Kitchen?

CUMIN TILAPIA + PINEAPPLE + JALAPENO SALSA

Serves 4

Gluten, dairy, grain free

INGREDIENTS:

Cumin Tilapia:

4 tilapia fillets  (5-6 oz each)

4 T cumin

1 t smoked paprika (or regular)

¼ t cayenne pepper

¾ t sea salt

Juice from two limes

2 T coconut oil for cooking

Pineapple Salsa:

1 ½ C fresh pineapple

1 jalapeño

¼ C chopped cilantro

Juice from two limes

Sea salt

*If you can, make the salsa a few hours before you plan to eat so the juices can combine and create more flavor.

TO MAKE:

Salsa:

Chop the pineapple into small, bit-sized chunks. Here is a quick tutorial on how to cut a pineapple.

Cut jalapeño long ways and remove the seeds and insides. Finely chop.

Finley chop cilantro.

Combine pineapple, jalapeño and cilantro in a bowl and squeeze the juice from the two limes into the bowl.

Add a pinch of salt and refrigerate for a few hours. You can serve it immediately as well if you don’t have time to prep it early.

Fish:

Combine cumin, paprika, cayenne pepper and salt in a bowl and stir well.

Cut the limes in half and squeeze the juice on both sides of each fillet. ½ a lime for each fillet of tilapia.

Use your hands to rub the cumin mixture on each side of the fillets. Make sure each side is completely coated.

In a cast iron or non-stick skillet, heat the coconut oil.

Add fillets to the hot oil and cook on medium heat for about 6-7 minutes on each side.

When it is finished, it should have a nice brown, crispy layer on each side.

TO SERVE:

Spread a few spoonfuls of the pineapple salsa over the top and enjoy!

You could also add the fish and salsa to a good corn tortilla, top with avocado and turn it into fish tacos!

ENJOY!

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CUMIN TILAPIA + PINEAPPLE + JALAPENO SALSA

Serves 4

Gluten, dairy, grain free

INGREDIENTS:

Cumin Tilapia:

4 tilapia fillets  (5-6 oz each)

4 T cumin

1 t smoked paprika (or regular)

¼ t cayenne pepper

¾ t sea salt

Juice from two limes

2 T coconut oil for cooking

Pineapple Salsa:

1 ½ C fresh pineapple

1 jalapeño

¼ C chopped cilantro

Juice from two limes

Sea salt

*If you can, make the salsa a few hours before you plan to eat so the juices can combine and create more flavor.

TO MAKE:

Salsa:

Chop the pineapple into small, bit-sized chunks. Here is a quick tutorial on how to cut a pineapple.

Cut jalapeño long ways and remove the seeds and insides. Finely chop.

Finley chop cilantro.

Combine pineapple, jalapeño and cilantro in a bowl and squeeze the juice from the two limes into the bowl.

Add a pinch of salt and refrigerate for a few hours. You can serve it immediately as well if you don’t have time to prep it early.

Fish:

Combine cumin, paprika, cayenne pepper and salt in a bowl and stir well.

Cut the limes in half and squeeze the juice on both sides of each fillet. ½ a lime for each fillet of tilapia.

Use your hands to rub the cumin mixture on each side of the fillets. Make sure each side is completely coated.

In a cast iron or non-stick skillet, heat the coconut oil.

Add fillets to the hot oil and cook on medium heat for about 6-7 minutes on each side.

When it is finished, it should have a nice brown, crispy layer on each side.

TO SERVE:

Spread a few spoonfuls of the pineapple salsa over the top and enjoy!

You could also add the fish and salsa to a good corn tortilla, top with avocado and turn it into fish tacos!

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