Posts tagged faith
DAY 10

Dear Ones,

Over the last few days, I have taken your names with me on my walks in the storms that hover over the Pacific Northwest. With my rain jacket, my battered umbrella, and my Bogs rubber boots I am trekking through puddles and delighting in the strength of these storms.

~Delighting in the One who delights in showing us His strength in the midst of storms.

As I have walked, I have felt the weight of your sorrows. I believe that your cries for the Father to free you of burdens too great to bear have been heard. From the mother whose children won't stop bickering, to the silent ones who cannot say why, and everyone who has written to me asking that I bring them with me on my talking-to-the Father walks.

Your longing to come with me on this Way of Delight is a giant step towards taking hold of “the life that is truly life” (I Timothy 6v19), that life of abundance (John 10v10) Jesus holds out to each of us.

These words are for you~

"I will... fear no evil... for You are with me."

Psalm 23v4


I will. 

I will choose to let go of fear, to push off shame, to run free.

I will choose to fill my soul with delight.

I will choose the way of love even when I feel unloved and unlovable. Even when I don’t want to and think I can’t.

I will choose with my will fully surrendered, not allowing my wild and untamable emotions to choose for me.

I will choose. Every day. All day. This day.

I will.

I will fear no evil.

Because perfect love casts out fear— all fear.   

Fear of what people might think, fear of what someone might do, fear of rejection. Fear of failure, fear of shame, fear of aloneness. Fear of not-enoughness, fear of too-muchness, fear of powerlessness.

With my will I will choose not to fear even when my heart is beating and my hands are shaking and my body betrays me. Even then I will choose not to fear. I will be wise, alert, discerning and assertive— and free of fear. By choice.

I will fear no evil.


I will fear no evil for You are with me.

Always. Even when I cannot feel You or see You or hear You. Even to the end, especially at the end.

I will make room for Your presence to sink deep within me, breathing deeply of Your Spirit. I will make space for You in my every days so that I recognize You and turn to You on the days when evils stalk and temptation lures. I will open my eyes so I may see You. I will tune my ears so I can hear You. I will draw close so I can feel you.

And when I fail and fall back to fear, I will come to You in sorrow.  I will sit with You there, confident in Your love, without fear of condemnation, assured that Your love is greater than my fears.

I will fear no evil, for You are with me.


From a heart filled with faith in a Father whose love will never let you go,


P.S. For everyone who asks in the comments, I will add your name to my growing list of people to bring along on my walks with the Father. This brings me unbelievable delight!

THOUGHTS ON... faith and fear and hiding hogs

(image by Bethany Small)

…and all the people in that region begged Jesus to go away and leave them alone…

Luke 8:37

…the crowds received Jesus with open arms because they had been waiting for Him.

Luke 8:40

I sat before the fire this morning with a cup of steaming tea in one hand and my Bible in my lap. Groggy from sleeping too late, restless and needing real rest, I felt all unsettled inside.

The words caught me.

The story of a whole town pressuring Jesus to leave after He’d done good— rid a crazy man of his demons.

Why weren’t they okay with that?

And then right up against that question, rose the story of a whole town pressing in around Jesus for help and healing.

How did they know?

On one side of the lake an immense crowd gathered to beg Jesus to go away. To leave them alone.

On the other side of that same lake, equally insistent crowds waited with open arms to invite Him right into the midst of their stories.


Why would one person push Him away and another pull Him close?

And aren’t I just a little spiritually bi-polar too?

On some things down right rigid in my strict adherence to His Word…

and on others clearly disobedient and mostly unapologetic.

Why do I ramp up the intensity of my words in order to get my own way… when I well know that what God relishes in a woman is a gentle and quiet spirit?

Why do I lay awake at night worrying about my kids… when He has so clearly stated that He loves them with a greater love than I could ever grasp?

And why can’t I help myself?

Why don’t I stop?

Fully awake now, I scoot forward, lay aside my tea and sniff around these stories. What I find gives me much more than a caffeine jolt.

The ones who wanted Him away were afraid. Not of the stark naked, demon filled, manic man who broke through chains and dominated the countryside. They were used to him. Had it under control.

What scared them witless was Jesus’ undeniable power to bankrupt their undercover pig operation. Here was a kosher Jewish town making a killing on hogs.

They had a secret that Jesus knew about and they thought by pushing Him out of the picture they could keep stockpiling all that lovely stash without the whole world knowing.

And maybe I have secrets too. Secret pride. Secret fears. Secret things that feel safe to me. And I don’t want Jesus to have anything to do with my hog business.


Then there’s the other guys. They welcomed Jesus. Held open their arms and fairly wrestled Him into their lives.

A leader fell flat on his face before Jesus, blithefully ignorant of what everyone else might think. His daughter was dying and by golly this guy was going to do everything in his power to get the help he needed to save her.

He was desperate.

A woman grabbed onto the tassle at the bottom of His robe and held on for dear life, stopping Jesus’ journey through the crowds. Nothing and nobody was going to stop her from getting from Him what she wanted more than life itself. Weak and weary and tired of the isolation of illness, this woman would go down in history for her insistence that Jesus help her.

She was sick of being sick. 

I think there’s a treasure to be unburied in these side-by-side stories.

Something about fear and faith. And how you can’t have both. One cancels out the other.

Faith overrides fear and fear deletes faith.

I chew on this all day. Keep coming back to the stories. What am I missing?

I don’t want to be a bi-polar believer.

Moving from crisis to crisis, one season all good and peace-filled and other’s centered…

Too soon swinging to anxious, overwrought, ready to burst into tears because life is hard and how come that happened and why me?


And while I am praying and seeking and wondering, words jump out at me:





I know those words. And I know something else—

that the life I long for cannot be had as long as I insist on holding God to my way


the life I long for is mine for the taking if I’ll only refuse the fear by fully entrusting every single teeny tiny facet of my life to Him.

Everything.  Everyone.  Fully.

And so I get up to face my day with three treasures tucked into my heart, stored in my mind, settled into my soul…

1.  It’s usually when I’m up against death and desperation- really scary stuff— that I come begging for Him.

2.  Not until I get sick and tired of being sick and tired will I live the life I long for.

3.  Fear is what gets in the way of what I really want.

These are three things I cannot afford to keep forgetting, and neither can you. But I’ll need the help of other women who want what I want.

Women who’ve declared themselves all His.

Women who are daring to trust Him even when they’re really not crazy about all that desperation and dying talk.

Women who are willing to call me out when I start hiding hogs again.

Women like you…

From my heart,


PS:  Can you write us some stories of times you fell on your face in full on faith that only He could fix those broken places?  We need to hear your songs of deliverance to help build up our own wobbly faith.

repost: 4.2012

A Letter to My Girls

Dear girls, As the Night in Prayer approaches every year I start to get a little uneasy.

Not scared exactly, just that brush of remembering how hard it is to stay up all night.

How every year I think I can’t do it…

and I’m not so sure I really want to...

and do I have to?


And every year Jesus meets me in that place of anxious unrest. It is hard. He knows about that. As pressed and pressured as He was, He pulled away from all the needs that hounded Him and went away to pray— all night long.

And I think He did it, not because He had to, but because He needed to.

Maybe He was praying for us, for me, for all these people He loves who still don’t love Him back.

And so every year I do it again. And every year He fills me with the strength to make it all the way through the night. To keep talking, to shake myself awake, to lead our hundreds of hungry women who come because they need to come and pray all night.

Will you join me this year? 

Will you come and pray for all those people you know who He loves but who still don't love Him back?

Will you come and pray for yourself? For your brokenness? Your disfunction and dissatisfaction? For His grace to make you more than you are so He can use you more than you can believe?

Every year women tell me their reasons for not coming. I used to push back, to try to convince women they can do this-- after all, if I can, you can too. Me, the woman who starts checking the clock as soon as it gets dark and falls into bed with relief as near to 9 pm as possible most nights.

Now I know its the women who are desperate for God who will show up this Friday night. Women who must see God at work in their lives, women who thirst for God, who will go to great lengths to hear Him and touch Him and ask Him for help.

If you're one of those, I invite you to join us. Be tired with us. Laugh and giggle and get a little crazy with us. Dare to ask for big things. Pray Impossible Prayers. Meet God in a way you never have before.

Because He shows up for our Night in Prayer. His presence is palatable.

I'll be there... worried a little... sleepy before it even starts... but listening for His voice and craving your company as we seek Him together.

From my heart,


Click here to sign up!


Years and years ago when I first knew I was going deaf and I thought the future looked impossibly bleak, these words sank deep into my soul. May God use them in your heart today...

"It seems to me clear beyond question that in the lives of God's beloved there are sometimes periods

when the adversary is "given power to overcome".

This power need never overwhelm the inner courts of the spirit, but it may press hard on the outworks of being.

And so I have been asking that our dearest Lord may have the joy (sure it must be a joy to Him) of saying about each one of us...

"I can count on him, on her, on them for anything. 

I can count on them for peace under any disappointment or series of disappointments,

under any strain.

I can trust them never to set limits, saying, "Thus far, and no further."

I can trust them not to offer the reluctant obedience of a doubtful faith, but to be glad and merry as it is possible."

Amy Carmichael in Rose From Brier

May we be worthy of His trust.

From my heart,