I have been, for the past several months, cocooned in quiet. No new posts, no fresh thoughts, rarely peeking my head out into this big wide world of the web.
I didn’t plan on this; didn’t intend to take a Sabbatical from blog writing. I just lost steam. Too many items on my to-do list that weren’t getting done but that needed doing— combined with a subtle shift in my motivations that I hadn’t detected… and I found myself with nothing to say.
A strange condition for a woman who often has to purposely shush the onslaught of words in order to clear her head.
And yet, even in my silence, God has been speaking: soothing, convicting, teaching, revealing things that needed uprooting down deep. I’ve filled journals with lessons learned, with Scriptures He has etched into my soul, with warnings to myself, and with tidbits of His grace.
And I’ve been writing my book. The rough draft is done and now I’m in the process of following the wisdom of my editor. It’s a slow process but I am learning so much and having more fun with it than I ever thought possible.
Sometime about mid-summer I started to ask God if He still wants me to write via the blog. Assuming nothing, I felt the need of a mandate once again. What a terrible waste of time if I just keep doing what I’ve done without His power— and so, borrowing Moses’ plea, I cried, “If You don’t go with me, I’m not going!”
I heard nothing for a long time.
Yet I felt that tension too— like a weighted pause. As if He wasn’t speaking because I hadn’t been listening, not really listening. You know, like a mama who throws out questions but doesn’t stop long enough to hear the answer?
Eventually His silence got my attention.
As I carved out time to really listen, leaning in and waiting, I heard the words of Jesus to poor, conflicted, feeling-so-sorry-for-himself Peter: Feed My sheep.
And as He often does, I heard Him whisper with the gentlest answer…
“Di, do you love Me more than these?
Yes, Lord, You know I do.
Feed My lambs... take care of My sheep… feed My sheep.” (read John 21- so rich!)
And sometimes I think we need to hear that… both the challenge and the clear direction. Because it takes a love more than these to keep doing what we’re called to do day after day after day. It’s true for the mother of little ones, for the woman who works to provide, for the student and the caretaker and the teacher and the business owner and… the blog writer.
My more than these includes all the pressures I put on myself to live perfect. Perfect order, perfect balance, perfect words. To love Him more than these means to live at rest with imperfection so I can serve Him in this messy, mixed up world of ideas and relationships.
Will I ever really figure it out? All I know is that…
I feel as though I have so much to say that I’m going to burst if I don’t start writing it down!
Lessons about prioritizing, about doing less, about living in the moment instead of always fussing about the next thing… as well as good books I’ve been reading that I’m wanting to recommend to anyone who loves to read and longs to learn.
And so here I am, heading into a fresh season of writing for this blog, excited about where He is leading and what He is saying.
We will be posting on a schedule (for those among us who want to know all about order and structure and what to expect!) that goes something like this:
Mondays: Our House
For those of you who followed Letters To My Son, these letters are a continuation of the story. Matt and Simona are getting married on September 27th and I will begin posting a week later on October 6th.
For the better part of the first year of their marriage I will write letters filled with lessons I have learned… things I wish I’d known… advice… and encouragement.
Some letters will be directed to Matthew- and men in general. As an older woman— a mom— I have some things I want to say that I hope will help men know how women think and process and what we need in order to thrive.
Other letters will deal with women, written to Simona— and all my girls.
And many of the letters will be to the both of them— to men and women who want to understand a better way of loving well, who want to learn how to…
“walk in the way of love,
just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us
as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”
And as an added bonus, Hillary has agreed to illustrate these posts in her beautifully creative and often symbolic expression of truth.
Wednesday or Thursday: Glimpses
These are short (well, at least in theory) spill-overs from my times of listening to God in His Word. My chance to open up my heart to you and let you know what I am learning and how He is speaking into my very real, ordinary life.
I’ll also review books I am loving. As a voracious reader, I’m dying to connect you with authors whose words are making a difference in my life.
On Some Fridays: The Kitchen
That’s right! Elizabeth is cooking up a storm in her tiny vintage kitchen in the heart of L.A. And maybe, if we’re especially lucky, she’ll post a few video clips of her trusty sous chef, aka Scarlet. There will also be several guest foodies contributing recipes and instructions from time to time.
As always, I crave your comments. Your words open up a conversation so that I know who I am writing to.
With a heart rested and ready,
P.S. Do you have a particular need you’d like me to address? A question that’s been bugging you? Please leave it in the comments and I’ll do my best to listen well.
P.S.S. If you haven’t already subscribed via e-mail, might I suggest you do so now? And follow me on Instagram (@dianewcomer) if you’d like to see pictures of the wedding and all the fun that surrounds it.