LETTERS TO MY SON: PROTECT HER PURITY
Last week I told you a story about your sister, Rebekah. I described to you a story of a man who took his responsibility to protect the purity of a woman seriously.
This week I want to tell you how.
Every movie, every TV show, every story you see in public is rife with impurity because our culture sees impurity and immodesty and immorality as manly… and sexy… and cool.
What you never see is the shredding of trust, the feelings of insecurity, of being used and abused and abandoned. That stuff.
You know a better way because you have read The Book.
You shall not commit adultery. Exodus 20v14
You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5v27-28
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. I Thessalonians 4v3-6
So here is a mom-made list of how to protect a woman’s purity:
- Tell her right up front exactly why you intend to keep your relationship pure. (That way she won’t wonder about the weirdness of a relationship that doesn’t get all hot and heavy)
- Make rules for yourself. (As in 'Do Not Touch' except for fondness and affection)
- Do not spend time all alone together. (You’ll be less tempted to go too far if you always have an audience)
- Tell some trusted friends that you intend to keep this relationship pure. (Just the ones who will face this battle with you instead of laughing all over Facebook)
- Invite people to question you. (Make it easy, don’t be defensive, they’re not saying they don’t trust you… just that you’re crazy to trust yourself)
- Don’t look at pornography! (It’s the fool who thinks he can feed a fire and not get burned by it)
- Be honest with her when it’s hard. (But please do not make this a frequent topic of conversation!)
- Assure her often of your feelings for her. (Women are conditioned to think that men who paw at them actually love them— and they can get insecure unless you tell them otherwise)
- Date for a long time to get to know each other well, then be engaged for a short time. (There is something about that engagement ring that can make it really hard to stop)
It takes a man to follow this kind of advice.
It takes strength, determination, moral muscle.
It takes a man who is so passionate about Jesus that he chooses to curb his own God-given passions.
You are such a man, Matthew. May He give you all His grace.
From my heart,
And girls… do not settle for anything less.