LETTERS TO MY SON: how to spot a strong woman

“A wife of noble character who can find?

    She is worth far more than rubies.”

-in letters to King Lemuel from his mother-

(Proverbs 31:10)

Dearest son,

Like the King’s mom, I am writing to you for a specific purpose: to paint a picture of the kind of woman you will want one day to be your wife.

And like Lemuel’s mother, I am assuming that you are actually looking, that you have rejected the laisez faire attitude I see so often in men. That uber-spiritual sounding stance that “God will provide and I don’t have to do anything but wait”.

Because I don’t believe that. In fact, I believe that it is the honor for a man to actively search for a noble woman to stand by his side and join her strength to his.

Apparently, Mrs. Lemuel felt the same. She recognizes that women of “noble character” are few and far between. Valuable and rare.

And that such women are worth finding.

Hayil, the Hebrew word translated in the NIV as “noble character”, is used throughout Scripture to depict a man or woman of strength, wealth, influence, might, and firm character.

A strong woman.

A woman like Rebekah.

And Elizabeth.

And Tammy.

Three strong women of vastly different personalities and gifts and interests who have set a standard for you of this kind of excellence.

Rebekah is extremely intelligent, she loves to learn and read and research and discover. Right now she is throwing all her skills and drive into making her husband a success. She believes in him passionately and is sacrificing her own interests to build their business around Steve’s gifts and calling.

Tammy is kind and steady, with a wealth of wisdom about people and relationships. Her intuitive insight into the souls of the people around her adds incredible strength to your brother’s ministry. And she is relentless in her loving on and caring for John Mark.

Elizabeth is a woman who does life with excellence. She doesn’t just cook, she researches and learns and creates, using fresh, healthy foods to both nurture and nourish her family. She pours her intelligence and drive into every aspect of motherhood and lavishes her beauty on her family.

Three women of strength… of noble character.

And so I’d like to leave you with a list in my own words.

What A Woman Of Strong And Noble Character Looks Like In Everyday Life.

  1. A strong woman is trustworthy. (vs. 11)
  2. A strong woman doesn’t feel compelled to dominate. (vs. 12)
  3. A strong woman uses her gifts and time and talents to give to others. (vs. 12,13,20)
  4. A strong woman goes the extra mile. (vs. 18)
  5. A strong woman is always thinking ahead. (vs. 15,21)
  6. A strong woman takes care of herself with confidence. (vs.22)
  7. A strong woman is capable and smart and hard working. (vs. 24,27)
  8. A strong woman is hopeful. (vs. 25)
  9. A strong woman is wise and kind with her words. (vs.26)
  10. 10. A strong woman is in awe of God. (vs. 30)

And may I offer you just one more word of advice?

Do not be afraid of strength in a woman. Because, Matt, you will need a woman of this kind of soul strength to catch the vision God is developing in your heart.

Yours is a big vision, one that you cannot do alone. Just like Steve’s and Brook’s and John Mark’s.

And as long as she “gets it” and is able to see how her own gifts and talents fit in with yours, she’ll add to your strength rather than compete for her own way.

And when you find her, dear son-of-mine, cherish her.

From my heart,