ANGER: why: part 2

For the past several weeks I have been getting a flood of questions about dealing with anger in our children. It seems that the more we look at this issue from a Biblical perspective, the more we need to relearn. Much of what we have learned apart from the Scriptures has to do with either suppressing or excusing anger in our children. Yet the Bible does neither. For the next few weeks we are going to take a look into the Word of God to examine the Who, What, Why, When, Where, and How of dealing with anger in our children… and ourselves. I would suggest that every mother/woman/parent take some time to look up the Scriptures quoted, perhaps writing them out on a 3x5 card, in order to readjust the way you think and feel and believe about the very real problem of anger.

Why:

Last week we discussed 2 common triggers for anger in our children. Here is one more...

Stress

Let’s face it, we live in an immensely stress filled society. Our little one’s senses are inundated by sensorial stresses from flashing lights, blasting noise, captivating smells and overwhelming crowds. Add to that the pressure to be always on the go in order to “develop your child to their full potential” and our kids have more stress than they can handle.

There is one solution to all this stress- SLOW DOWN!

So many edgy, irritated children would benefit from more quiet and more order in their lives. Time to just play. To pretend. To run and jump unimpeded by adults telling them what to do and where to go.

Reduce the level of stress in your home as well. Turn off the T.V. except for special family times when you all cuddle up together in your p.j.’s to watch a favorite movie. Many children “come off” t.v. with pent up anger. Something about processing all that stimulation creates in these children an almost volcanic response. Our son, John Mark’s reaction after watching “innocent” cartoons was to turn around and bop his little sisters! As soon as the t.v. turned off, he’d almost always erupt in an uncontrollable frenzy which led inevitably to a melt down. When we finally caught on to the pattern and stopped using the t.v. as a babysitter, all that abrasive action settled down. Such a simple thing made such an enormous difference.

Look around your home as well. Is it neat and orderly? Do you have too many toys out at one time? There is an inherent serenity attached to order, which our children react to on some visceral level. And you know, it really only takes a couple of minutes to throw it all in boxes and close the closet door. Keep your home decently tidy and you might really see the level of anger settle down in your child.

Well, I’ve gone too long… I’ll include one more anger trigger next week and discuss the repercussions of temper tantrums that come with unchecked willfulness in children.

From my heart,

Diane

Look up these Scriptures to wrap your head around what God says about stress…

Psalm 23- notice how the Good Shepherd leads His people

Psalm 90:12- isn’t this what we’re trying to do in our child’s heart?

Psalm 37

Hebrews 4