LETTERS TO MY SON: 8 things
8 Scary Things We Women Do…
when we think we need a man to make us happy.
A couple of letters back, I began to warn you to be alert and aware of the kind of woman who has the potential to sap you of your God-given and much needed strength. I let you know how close I came to being that kind of wife to your dad. And how he took me by the hand and helped me to know that only in utter dependence on God would I ever have the hole in my soul filled full.
Because even though I was honestly seeking God with all my heart, I still thought that being married to a godly man would make me feel forever loved and happy and fulfilled.
I think most women think that deep down. And it’s wrong. It doesn’t work that way, not even a little. And it’s not supposed to. No man can satisfy a woman in those deepest places of her restless heart. Only God can do that— and for most of us women it takes a lifetime to figure out how that really works.
Now that I’ve scared you half to death, let me offer just a couple of words of practical description to help you recognize and avoid a needy woman. Remember, I’m describing who I once was, who I fight not to be even now.
#1 A man-needing woman will need more of you than you have to give.
#2 A man-needing woman will insinuate that you are not “there for her enough”.
#3 A man-needing woman will put you on the defensive- a lot.
#4 A man-needing woman will use her sensuality to bind you to her.
#5 A man-needing woman will often give in to intense expressions of emotion, requiring excessive amounts of assurance from you.
#6 A man-needing woman will want you all to herself all of the time.
#7 A man-needing woman will generate a great deal of conflict.
#8 A man-needing woman will argue that you need to help her more rather than seeing her calling to be your help.
Please notice, my son, that a man-needing woman is not a bad woman. She may be beautiful and gentle and sweet and sitting in the front row with her Bible open at every gathering.
But until a woman figures out for herself that men are not meant to fulfill her craving need for more, and that only a close and intimate and dependent connection with God can fill that craving, she’ll be a strength sapper.
And you, my dear son, need every ounce of your hayil to do what God is calling you to do and to do it with the “vigor” (vs. 3) of a king.
From my heart,
Don’t hate me! I get it, I really do. Yet I also know that the truth is what sets us free from ourselves.
So let’s be honest with each other, confess our weaknesses to each other, and go after all that God has waiting for us if we’ll only ask.
So… comments anyone? Do you see this in yourself?
Go ahead and make up a “pen name” for this one if you want… no need to completely terrify our guys!
Somehow I think if you’ll be honest here you’ll give all of us the courage to keep learning.
From my heart for you,