May 19

‘TIS THE SEASON… almost

(source)

The sun is shinning. The days are slowing getting warmer and longer. The season of berry cobblers and fresh apple crisps is right around the corner and I have a recipe to get you as excited as I am about it!

(I know apples are more of a late summer/fall fruit but, like I said, I’m a little excited.)

I have always LOVED apple crisp but have been deprived for years due to the fact that it contains copious amount of butter… not to mention the flour… both of which my body doesn’t seem to like much.

After years of deprivation (do you feel sorry for me yet?), I decided to take matters into my own hands and attempt an apple crisp that I could eat and not pay for it later.

It’s a crowd pleaser in our house and I hope you enjoy it as well!

ENJOY!

Elizabeth

MAPLE APPLE CRISP

INGREDIENTS:

  • 5 heaping cups granny smith apples (4-5 apples), pealed and chopped into small chunks or slices
  • 1 T lemon juice
  • 1 T real vanilla
  • ¼ C real maple syrup
  • 1 T cinnamon
  • ¾ C oat flour (whole wheat flour works too but I think the oat flour makes it moister and tastier)
  • ¾ C slow cooking oats
  • 1 C organic brown sugar
  • 5 T Earth Balance butter (or real butter)

TO MAKE:

Mix apples, lemon juice, vanilla, maple syrup, and cinnamon all together and place in a medium or large baking pan.

Combine flour, oats, brown sugar and butter using a pastry knife or fork until butter is in small chunks and ingredients are combined.

Pour topping over apple mixture and bake at 350 for about 50 min. Check it at that point and see if the top is starting to brown and apples are very soft, it may need a bit more time.

*The key is cooking it long enough for everything to get soft enough to melt in your mouth!

 

TO SERVE:

Enjoy with vanilla ice cream, coconut milk ice cream or pumpkin ice cream!

 

We tested out our ice cream maker we got for Christmas and made some coconut milk ice cream and it did not disappoint!

OTHER VARIATIONS: 

  • You can use a pie crust (I think the store bought ones are the best!) on the bottom and then follow the same instructions if you want it to be more pie like
  • It is also delicious with real caramel syrup drizzled on top!
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May 17

REDEEMING WHAT’S BROKEN… between you and your son

 It’s just past Mother’s Day. 

You’ve smiled and said your thanks and all is well.

But somewhere lurking just beneath the surface of your smile is that nagging wondering if all is really as well as you want it to be. And maybe it is— maybe everything is good between you and your kids or you and your mom.

But for a lot of moms it’s not.

Words were said. Awful words.

Or maybe worse— no words, just the sullen silence of rejection.

For the past few days we’ve been talking about fixing those broken places between us. Or at least trying to.

Trying God’s way, with the wisdom promised in His Word. Searching for how, begging for the strength to do it well, for the grace to push past all the pain and all the excuses and just do the right thing.

Today I just want to add a few words about fixing things with your grown sons.

Men are such a different breed. They look and smell and talk and think like aliens from Mars or Venus or wherever they’re supposed to have originated.

I know, I have two of them!

John Mark is my firstborn. I heaped all my perfectionist angst all over that poor guy from the moment he was born. Every ounce of my idealistic nature got aimed at John Mark. Before he was born I had it down— knew exactly what to do and how to do it. I would raise the perfect man.

Only I didn’t factor in all my own faults and flaws. And all the stuff I didn’t know. Or my blind spots or prejudices of just plain wrongness about things I was so sure I was right about.

I am so sorry John Mark. And so amazed that you love me still!

Matthew is my baby. Born with two sisters and nearly 12 years between them, my boys grew up with two different versions of me. The way-too-uptight version and the way-too-loosey-goosey version.

Except for a few years of horrific temper tantrums when he was really young, Matt has been just so easy to spoil.

He asks nice. With a smile and a hug and I-love-you-Mom, you’re-the-best.

How in the world do I say “no” to that?

Sometimes I have expected less than I should have and then doubted him and nagged and suggested and basically pestered my will on him. Enough to drive a guy crazy.

I am so sorry Matthew. And so amazed that you love me still!

But I’ve learned some things with all these mistakes I’ve made and all this grace my men have given back to me. And so I offer you…

FIVE WAYS TO FIX WHAT IS BROKEN…

between you and your son

1.  Respect him (Proverbs 21:9, Ephesians 5:33 for wives, but so wise for moms)

Men crave respect. They need it, thirst for it, feel broken without it. Your boy who grew into a man needs your respect. As his mother you hold incredible power over his vision of his value. If you respect him— you who know his history and his flaws and weaknesses, then he must be a man. Right?

Mothers have an opportunity to be the first to view their sons through the lenses of honor. But if you keep doubting him, keep nagging and poking and laughing at his less-than-perfect attempts at manhood, then you’ll hurt him deeply, Mom. Be very, very careful.

2.  Admire him (Proverbs 23:24,25)

Respect and admiration are not the same thing. Respect has to do with how you talk to him… how you treat him, how you respond. Admiration has to do with what you say. To admire someone is to notice him. To take a good long look at who he has become and then to pick out all the good parts and trumpet your discoveries loud and wide.

Admiration means doing your homework. Because somewhere between boyhood and manhood he took on some qualities and gifts and abilities that you might not know about.

What is he good at? What do other people think about him? Why do his friends like him? How about his kids?

Have you told him what you see? A lot?

3.  Ask his advice (Proverbs 26:12)

Your son knows some stuff that will and could and should help you live your life better. The ultimate show of respect and admiration from a mom is to ask for his advice. When you do that you are recognizing that he is a man now. A man worth listening to.

You don’t have to know it all anymore, moms. (And I’m preaching to me here…)

4.  Don’t need him (Genesis 2:24, Proverbs 25:6,7)

There is this weird tendency with us moms to think that after all we did for our children, they owe us.

WRONG.

And especially wrong for our sons. We raised our boys to be warriors and now they’re off fighting the battles in front of them. Earning a living, caring for a family, paying off debts, wrangling with customers and critics and who-knows-what-else-because-they’re-probably-not-going-to-tell-you!

Let’s challenge each other to be the one person in their circle of relationships that doesn’t need anything from them. Not a birthday card, not a phone call, not time or attention. If you get those things, great! But set your sons free to fight their battles like men, unencumbered by a needy mother.

5.  Don’t ever come between him and his wife (Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 4:29-32)

Which means…DO NOT EVER CRITICISE HER!!!

Ever.

Do not infer, do not hint, do not smirk, do not sympathize. She is perfect and you love her. No matter what.

Now that’s easy for me to say. I happen to have the only honestly perfect daughter-in-law around. I loved her from the moment she poked her head out of the tent at my fortieth birthday party-camping trip.

And she loves me. I hear it and feel it and know it.

I wish everyone had a daughter-in-law like Tammy. And even as I write, I’m praying for whoever happens to be Matthew’s wife someday… please, please, please like me!

 

It might be a good idea for you to go over last weeks post with your son in mind.

Do you need to apologize? Most relationships need some clearing of the air to set things right again.

Relationships with our sons are not nearly so complicated as with our daughters. But they still take work. And a determination to do things well and wisely.

May you listen to what the Father is telling you and chose the way of redemption,

From my heart,

Diane

If you’ve got a story of God bringing your son back… or a story of a son who has graced you as mine have me, please tell us. These are the kinds of stories that give us hope.

Next Thursday… Redeeming What is Broken Between You And Your Mom

 

 

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May 14

LETTERS TO MY SON: words part two

Dear Matt,

In my last letter to you I wrote about words. I wanted to you get a glimpse into the minds of women in general before I started to get specific about the kind of woman I think may be best suited to come alongside you.

And women are all about words.

Men have the opportunity to help both women who talk too much and women who can’t seem to coherently spit it out by leading with words.

You, my dear son, were born talking. I remember sitting beside you as I taught you how to read, amazed that you could learn with your mouth wide open and working furiously! You learned to read by talking!

You have a constant need to communicate and you have a compelling need to be communicated with. Just like your dad.

So I want you to take a look at how your dad led me instead of rejecting me because I wasn’t very good at this whole talking/contributing/asking/answering thing that makes up communication. Because the woman you’re hoping and praying for might not be good at talking like you are. But that doesn’t mean she can’t learn with a little help from a good man leading.

HOW TO LEAD A WOMAN WITH WORDS

1.  Look her in the eye.

A woman’s eyes will tell you massive amounts of information about who she is and what she’s feeling at any given moment. Is she nervous? Her eyes will flit all over the place. Bored? They’ll go dull. Fascinated? They’ll fix on your face and nod along with her head. Flirty? She’ll be looking to see else is looking. Sympathetic? They’ll brim with tears and soften in pools of understanding.

2.  Focus on her.

If you have even the slightest inclination that this girl might be worth knowing, turn off your cell phone, ignore your goofy friends, don’t say hi to every passerby, and give her your undivided attention. See her. Think. Listen.

3.  Choose what to talk about.

Instead of just responding to her, be the one to guide meaningful conversation. That doesn’t mean you have to be brilliant or know everything about anything. Just be purposeful.

4.  Pace the conversation.

Be alert to when its time to switch subjects, when to ask questions, when to say more and when to say less. But don’t just let conversations die. That leaves a woman feeling like a failure. We’re too relational to just shrug our shoulders and walk away.

5.  Initiate conversation.

As in walk up to a woman and actually use words to bring her close. If she’s a beautiful woman, don’t allow yourself to be terrified of her because of her loveliness. Some beautiful women who are not flirty get shunned just because of fear. Or treated with bluster and bravado… just talk to her.

6.  Ask questions that require thoughtful response.

Instead of “How was your day?” ask “What was the highlight of your day?” Find out who she is, what her dreams are, how she plans to live her faith.

7.  Use a date to enter her world of words.

Men can have a meaningful “talk” sitting side by side as they wrestle fish into their boat. Without a word. But women need  words. If you take her to a movie just be sure that you plan to talk about the movie afterwards. Don’t just drive her home and leave her bereft of those words she craves.

8.  Never, ever, ever make fun of anything she says. Ever.

Don’t use sarcasm with women unless the twinkle in your eye is so huge and so obvious she absolutely cannot miss it. Be careful about teasing… make sure it is fond and funny— and that it makes her look good.

9.  Affirm her with words.

This, my son, is huge. A verbally affectionate man is a rarity. I don’t know why, but I suspect that men are so accustomed to using words as a means of conquering their world that somewhere in there they loose touch with the immense need every woman has to be embraced and brought close with words.

Your dad has loved me with affectionate words for over three decades. And that way of loving me has changed me and grown me and set me free of all that uptight angst I used to be so bound up with.

10. Give her the Word.

After our first date kept us up late into the night talking, your dad scribbled down two Bible verses onto 3×5 cards and sent them with a short note in the mail.

Yep, stamps and the mailbox and all that old-fashioned stuff.

And when I got that envelope with his name in one corner and mine in the middle, my whole self responded. I could barely steady my hands to open it up.

That he’d taken the time and made the effort to communicate back to me what we’d been talking about… I just can’t tell you what that did for my respect for him.

And I still have those verses tucked into my heart:

I Samuel 16:9

…for God sees not as man sees,

for man looks at the outward appearance,

but the Lord looks at the heart.”

         And

Jeremiah 9:23

Thus says the Lord,

“Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom,

and let not the mighty man boast of his might,

let not a rich man boast of his riches;

but let him who boasts boast of this,

 that he understands and knows Me,

that I am the Lord

who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth;

for I delight in these things,” declares the Lord.

 

May you be wise as you lead with your words, my son.

I love you,

Mom

 

 

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REDEEMING WHAT’S BROKEN… between you and your daughter

May 12, 2012

 The clock is ticking towards the Day of the Mother. It’s supposed to be good. It’s supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to be a feel-good day to celebrate and be celebrated. All about flowers and Hallmark commercials and breakfast in bed and love, love, love. But for many among us it’s a day of [...]

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FIXING WHAT’S BROKEN…

May 10, 2012

 FIXING WHAT’S BROKEN… between you and your daughter… and between you and your son … and between you and your mom Mother’s Day is just hours away… a day to celebrate your mother, a time to honor her. And a day to be honored by your daughters and your sons.  A day to celebrate who [...]

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GENERATIONS

May 9, 2012

GENERATIONS…what every woman ought to know about authentic, life changing BELIEF On Saturday, May 19th, the women of Solid Rock are going to gather together to hear a woman I greatly admire tell Her Story. You’re not going to want to miss this! Wendy Palau is a beautiful woman; a woman of deep faith and warmth and [...]

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LETTERS TO MY SON: words

May 7, 2012

Dear Matthew, In Proverbs chapter 31 a mother writes to her son. I can imagine her sitting at her desk in front of a window. A warm breeze wafts across the pages as she ponders what to write. She starts and then she stops, waddles up and throws away her first attempts, then finally decides [...]

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