God Has Things He Wants To Say To You

“I still have many things to say to you…”

John 16:13

Di, I have many things to say to you.

The words jump off the page of my Bible and straight into my heart. His words take my breath away.

Me? You have many things to say to me?

I burrow deeper into my big white chair, curling my legs under me. I pour a cup of tea, I’m listening now. On my lap my journal jockeys for position with my Bible. I hold a pen, poised and ready. If God actually has many things to say to me isn’t it best that I write down what He says?

And then I go back and read the whole of what John wrote. I want to know exactly what Jesus said. I want to make sure that His words are for me, for us, for every one of His followers. And I want to make sure I’m listening to Him—for what He has to say, not for what I want to hear. I need His words this morning, not my own, not anyone else’s— His.

I have the audacity to believe God speaks to those who lean in to listen.

I still have many things to say to you,

But you cannot bear them now.

When the Spirit of truth comes He will guide you into all truth;

For He will speak whatever He hears, and He will declare it to you.

All that the Father has is Mine.

For this reason I said that He will take what is Mine and declare it to you.

John 16:13-15

I’ve been reading the words penned by John for months now; both John’s Gospel and his letters. Every time I sink my soul into his stories about Jesus and his long, rambling tangents (commentators call these discourses), something seems to stir inside me.

His words stir a longing, delight, awe.

I’m smitten, enamored by the picture John paints of Jesus. And just a little envious too. How did John come to be full of such confidence that Jesus not only loved him passionately, but actually liked him too? How is it that he referred to himself with such convincing conviction as the apostle Jesus loved? Not once or twice, but again, and again, and again as if he really believed it.

For years, decades, I have known the astounding truth that God loves me. And every year that I walk in His steps, learning to follow as close as I can, I have known that love a little more.

But to call myself “the one Jesus loved”— as in specifically? As in, Jesus loves the me-that-I-am? The possibity that Jesus not only loves me because He loves the whole world, but also because He loves me specifically, especially, particularly?

I’m afraid to let myself believe that God’s love for me is specific to me.

That kind of love is a little too personal. Not at all like what I’ve absorbed from the depravity-of-man preachers who want to make sure I know I’m unworthy of God’s love. And I know they’re right, but this?

The idea that maybe Jesus’ love for me is not just general, but personal? That’s harder to swallow. Because I know me. I’m well acquainted with the depravity part. And, like everyone else, I’ve had plenty of people point out those parts of me that Jesus cannot possibly fail to see.

And if I do believe that He loves me like that, then I have to also believe that He talks to me, that He has things He wants to say to me, His girl, Di.

Selah. Pause and think about that.

That’s what I did this morning. I paused and thought long and wondrously about these words in John. That He still has many things He wants to say to me. That He knows there are things I’m not yet ready to hear and that doesn’t annoy Him. He’s okay with going at my pace. He’s more than okay, He’s adapting the pace of His speaking, guiding, declaring because He knows me, loves me, and wants me to hear. In fact, He left His Spirit when He returned to the Father for the express purpose of speaking truth to me.

And that’s all I’m going to say because it’s enough for today.

Now it’s time for me to go on my walk with Him. Time to silence myself so that I can hear the whispers of truth He wants me to know. Time for me to listen to the real, actual, touchable and feel-able love He has for me. As in the me He likes. The me that is becoming, in His presence, the me He had in mind when He made me.

But before I go, I would like to invite you to leave your name in the comments— with anything you want to add about why God loving you is something you’re struggling to grasp. Or even just your initials if you’re not ready for anyone else to know why Jesus’ love is so hard for you to actually feel. I’ll take you with me on my walks and I’ll talk to Jesus about your need to know, to experience His love— specifically.

And I’ll be back next week to write more of what I am discovering about this One who speaks, who guides, who loves the way He made you.

From a heart so full I just had to write it down,

Diane

Posted
July 6, 2016
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Listen
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50 comments... (add a comment)

  1. christine Trueb

    Diane, I learned this week, that Jesus asked Peter if he Agaped Him twice to which Peter replied very honestly that he phileoed Jesus. He was fond of Jesus. Then Jesus finally just asked if Peter phileoed Him. He came down to Peter’s level and met Peter where he was. That was so comforting that Peter could be honest about where he was at, and Jesus met him there. I see requests that I make of the Father answered at the end of a day where I fail and am weak, but that is my Father’s love for me working where I am because He is faithful and good and loves me.

    • diane

      Christine this is beautiful! Yes, yes yes, this is His way with us! He meets us right where we are, especially when we are willing to be honest. It is His faithful love that we can cling to even in our own failure. A love like that is worth hanging on to no matter what.

  2. Kelli Stallings

    Kelli: God loving me through a new season of motherhood where there are so many things vying for my time that sometimes my time with God falls to second place.
    Thanks for taking me with you, and thank you for words my heart needed to hear <3

    • diane

      Kelli, Every young mother feels as you do. Yours is a season of listening in “snatches”. Of cultivating eyes to see Him all throughout your day. I will love bringing you with me as I walk and pray.

  3. Renee

    God’s loving me has always been something that I’ve struggled to grasp. I know exactly what it is – fear of abandonment – and it stems from my dad dying suddenly when I was a young girl. Thank you for writing such a beautiful post, Diane!

    • diane

      Oh Renee, what a terrible wound you carry! My dad lived out the love of the Father for me even when I was just sort of “different”. I will bring you with me as I walk and ask the Father to show you His love for you– and how your dad would have loved you all through your life if he could have.

  4. Terri

    Thank you, Diane. Since I turned 60 last year, I struggle with how little I’ve accomplished for God, for his Kingdom, in my life. I feel He must be disappointed too. I’m close to Him though and always seek to be closer, to understand His will for me. So I know he loves me in general, but loving the me that I don’t like – the failure part – that’s harder.

    • diane

      Terri, I will bring your need to know how He views you and delights in you specifically– and that He will give you glimpses of all you have brought to this world by being you. Sometimes we measure our worth all wrong- as if BIG things are what God wants. But this: “I’m close to Him and always seek to be closer…” That’s gold, Terri. That may well be your greatest accomplishment!

  5. cherie

    past hurts from others & painful things said. I am learning to hear Jesus’ sweet, uncondemning voice.

    • diane

      Cherie, Me too! But it’s hard, isn’t it? Our own voices can echo the condemnation of others, drowning out the words of the Spirit of Love. I will be praying as I walk that you will have ears to hear His love for you as you are. He made you Cherie, let Him show you why.

  6. Mary Miller

    I have been hearing the truth of Romans 8. He is reminding me that in Him all things work for good. He gently whispers the question, ” Is this an all thing?” And then He says, “It will work for good.” I am at peace.

    • diane

      Mary, I love His gentle question to you. That is often what I hear too, a question that allows me to come close. How He must delight in your willingness to listen when the “all thing” is something you wouldn’t otherwise welcome.

  7. Patricia Newman

    Thank you for your words. I have been hearing-impaired since birth but as I became older the hearing became progressivist worse. Then I was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa, a progress vision impairment. Recently i went through eye surgery and am now struggling and waiting for healing and restoration pg my vision. Your book He soeaks in Silence was such a comfort to me in that I can totally relate. Through the years I struggled with doubts of his love for me. I knew that he loved me but did he love me soecifically? Your words today fought such comfort to me and, again, I thank you.
    Patricia

    • diane

      Patricia,
      My heart is heavy for you- losing my vision has been a persistent fear of mine since I lost my hearing. Please know that I will be praying as you wait to see. Just this morning I was reading in John 16 and reveling in Jesus’ words that promise we will see Him. That, my dear, must be such hope for you. As I walk i will bring you with me and ask the Father to give you eyes to see His great love for you.

  8. Katrina

    As a child growing up I never felt like I was good enough for my parents and completely out of reach for God. That brokenness still haunts me today. It’s so hard to believe that I can be loved just for who I am with all my flaws and failures. This speaks to my heart but it’s so hard to fully grasp that Jesus really loves cares and actually what’s a relationship with me. Thank you for your beautiful words!

    • diane

      Katrina, I know exactly how you feel. Never enough to warrant that kind of passionate love from God. And yet it’s true. Learning what it is about you that God specifically loves will be your calling for a lifetime. And it is this venture that will make you glow with real beauty. I will be bringing your lovely name with me as I walk and pray.

  9. jane watson

    I have just discovered your book on BookBub and ordered it for my kindle. I LOVED your book!! We are kindred spirits! I started hearing from God years ago, a little here and there, then in 2001, I really started hearing from Him, and I sensed He wanted me to journal with a two way conversation. My friends and family thought I was nuts. I actually wrote a book in 2006 (not as good as yours) about my experiences. I tell you this to say I still struggle with His personal love for me!! It too good to be true, I feel, and why me, I ask? We were never taught this and no one talks about it. But I relish in the comfort of His words while in His Presence….words just for me. Your book came at a perfect time for me, and I was renewed in hearing again by spending time with Him. I wish I could enjoy a closer friendship with you, someone who understands, appreciates and desires intimacy with our Father, Son and Holy Spirit. So thank you so very much for writing this book and being so totally honest. I think it could be my most favorite book!!

    • diane

      Ah Jane, such sweet and heart felt words! Writing my story sometimes felt too vulnerable, as if I was uncovering all the parts I’ve hidden for so long. But there is freedom there, isn’t there? But I want to know the name of your book! If we are kindred spirit’s after all, I want to know you. And most definitely I will bring you with me as I walk and pray. You are so right that we never talk about this and yet don’t we all long to know a love like that? So personal and private and beautiful.

  10. Natalie

    I am listening, too

  11. Jossie

    I think I struggle with the overwhelming truth that God does love specifically me because I want to know why… the because… from Him. I am very much a type A personality and if I do not feel I am performing, I do not feel the love in a worldly sense… so I sometimes struggle separating the human love that I know with God’s love. I would describe myself as someone who has a close relationship with God but even I struggle with this concept.

    • diane

      Jossie,
      You are not alone in the way you feel- or don’t feel the love of God. I will pray, as Paul did for his Ephesian friends, that you will experience His love in a way that makes sense for who you are. There is certainly not a one-size-fits-all experience. In fact, I have come to believe that the more we allow ourselves to just be ourselves, the more tangible His love feels.

  12. Bekah

    Diane-

    Your words flowed over me. His words through you. I’d felt so disconnected from God. Learning to actually live out the freedom from the abuse I endured. Silencing myself. Needing to feel connected again to His truth as I’m stumbling to know the capacity at which he loves me. Thank you for your heart to intentionally listen. You are an example that I admire.

    Bekah

    • diane

      Oh Bekah, how that abuse must have hurt the God who made you! He crafted you unique and beautiful and someone chose to harm that beauty. I will be praying that you will have eyes to see who He made you to be and that you will dance in freedom and joy and purest delight.

  13. I constantly wrestle with how in the world God’s {specific} love for me has the capacity to be patient when I not only fail, but fail over, and over, and over again. Oftentimes, with the same weakness; whether it be insecurity, pride, anxiety, or whatever else tries to creep its way into my thoughts.

    • diane

      Alex, It’s hard to grasp that kind of love, let alone believe it, isn’t it? But He sees who you really are- not the girl who is messing up again. And He sees what is beneath the insecurity- He knows you are comparing yourself to others who He made for entirely different purposes. I will be praying for you, that you will see His delight in who He made you to be.

  14. D

    Hi Diane! I’m really glad your back and I hope you and your family are doing well. 🙂 The new design is really nice and sophisticated! 🙂 🙂

    I’ve been struggling with Jesus’s love for me for quite some time. I think it’s amplified now since I am in a place where I desperately (that sounds bad I know) want to love and be loved in return (romantically). I know I’m in the wrong by trying to seek love from man and not Jesus. I’ve struggled with this because of a series of events throughout my life that have impacted me more than I thought it had. I’ve had this whole fear (and probably still do) about love for a long period of time and recently I came across a verse that stood out to me for the first time. “Perfect love casts out all fear” 1 John 4:18. There should be no fear in love and the love of Jesus is what I should crave…but it’s not. I’ve “checked out” in my walk with the Lord in the past few months and I’ve slipped up in several ways and I know He forgives but I want/need to be in a place where I have true reverence for the Lord and desire only Him. I haven’t gotten there yet.

    I know that everyone’s walk with the Lord is different and no path is the same but I would actually like to “feel” His love within me to the point where I exude it and can pour out into others. I’ve spent many years being sad and carrying a heavy heart and I really don’t want to continue on like that anymore.

    I know I have a responsibility to seek the Lord as well but the struggle has been real and I don’t want to feel “defeated” anymore.

    Thank you for taking the time to read my vent and I hope you have a wonderful day.

    Sincerely,

    D

    • diane

      D,
      Welcome back to you too! I know we’ve “talked” in this space several times over the years. Your desire to be loved is a God-given desire- one every one of us women feel. You have so much love to give and a deep yearning to be known and seen as beautiful just as you are. No man can give that to you perfectly D. I am married to the best of men- he does it all, everything every woman wants. But still, his love doesn’t do for me what I’d thought it would. I always need more! Getting your soul to a place where you feel so loved that you do not need the love of a man– that’s where you will be able to love and be loved well. I will take you on my meanderings and be praying that you will have a heart to hear.

  15. It’s hard to understand the kind of love that does not change, does not cease when I continually choose more sleep over intimacy with Him. I feel like I fail over and over and He just waits patiently and welcomes me back when I join Him.

    • diane

      Absolutely, Debbie! But more and more I am seeing that our part is not so much “discipline” as desire, and for some of us, even desperation. When you get to the point when missing out on that morning time alone with God makes you feel bereft of something you needed in order to manage your day– that’s when you’ll get up no matter how much your body rebels! He knows that and so I think He waits with love– not with shame. Pretty soon I’m going to write about something new to me- a way of spending extended time with God regularly. I think it might jump start that desire that is awakening in you. Stay tuned!

  16. I am facing a situation where what I think I have clearly heard from God is simply not lining up with reality in my life, and it makes hoping in God’s good plan for me incredibly difficult, especially because this situation is reinforcing a pattern of rejection from guys that keeps occurring in my life.

    • diane

      Kelly,
      Discerning God’s will and way for us is, I believe, much trickier than most of us realize. There are so many times when I have miss-heard God, much like the things I miss-hear every day as a deafened woman. I am hoping to write much more about this as I am learning, but for you I will be praying that you will hear His great heart for you.

  17. Allison

    Diane, thank you for your beautiful words. So happy to have you back and to hear the truth the Lord is speaking through you to all of us. I always have struggled to grasp Christ’s never-ending love… He really loves me just because of who He is, not because of what I can do to earn that love? I continually pray to truly comprehend who my Heavenly Father is: a Daddy who loves me unconditionally, and not at all like my Earthly Dad who has chosen to barely have a relationship with me. Thankful for His grace and patience and that He truly does love me. Thank you for the reminder!

    • diane

      Allison,
      Even though I had a father who loved me very very well, I still struggle to grasp this truth. We can get it with our heads– we know the truth. But experiencing it is a whole other thing! I cannot imagine how hard it would be having a dad who did not show you the way of the Father. But I will be praying for you, that you will experience God’s love as more real and true than anything you have been deprived of.

  18. Stephanie

    This year I have been attacked on so many levels by the enemy trying to convince me that because I’m not perfect I can not feel God’s love. Though recently I have completely rejected these negative lies & have sincerely replaced it with the sheer fact that Gods love is far beyond our comprehension. Not dependent on me, least I boast of myself, & his love is utterly unwavering.

    • diane

      Stephanie,
      Those kinds of intense assaults on our personhood are exhausting. I hope that in the midst of all the demands of motherhood you can take some time for yourself to be alone with the One who loves you just as you are right now. Listen to the weariness and be patient with yourself. When this has happened to me I have found that I have to wait for the numbness to go away before I am able to fully experience God’s with-me-always presence. I keep wanting to order Shauna Neiquiest’s new book, Present Over Perfect. I have a feeling it’s about this very thing. Praying for you Stephanie!

  19. Katie

    Hi Diane, before I was married I would read the Bible every morning and pray. Once I was married I still would pray and read the Bible but it was less often. Now that I have two kids, I really struggle reading the Bible. However, there are times where I stop in desperation and talk with Him, and without fail I feel His loving presence. I love how He wants me to be in His word so He can speak with me and He knows how I need His communication as a young mom, but if I don’t He never holds a grudge or hesitates to greet me. His grace is amazing.

    • diane

      Katie, I agree wholeheartedly! His grace towards us is all about his love for us. He longs for us to come close because He knows it is what we really need. But He also knows our way of drawing near will not always fit into a tidy one-size-fits-all box.

  20. Marie Ongtooguk

    I find it hard to believe that 1] God would be ok with who or what I am at the moment and 2] a Spirit [yes, I get it cognitively that He is supposed to be all powerful and the main agent of God’s creation when the world was made but that’s just cognitively] who whispers ideas to me about truth and who God is could be more filling, nourishing and comforting deep down where my heart needs it than a flesh-and-blood human. That’s been a real struggle.

    • diane

      Marie, Thank you for your beautiful honesty. I will be praying for you, that you will experience the kind of love that overcomes all the doubt and hurt and questions. Because it’s true, all of it- both your #1 and #2. He picked me up out of a mess I was making of myself– when I least deserved it. Learning to “see” and “hear” Him is life’s sweetest quest.

  21. Kailey Alta

    I am in a season of painful waiting right now and I know I could be using this free time to reconnect with God and I am choosing not to. I purposely ignore Him and I don’t know why. Why would someone continue to love someone who keeps ignoring them? How can I reach Him again, when all I want to do is pull away? And to make things worse, I pull away to things I know are bad for me. I have given my sin to God so many times and it creeps back in faster than I have the guts to reach out to God for help.

    • diane

      Kailey, I’m so glad you write with such raw honesty! It just so happens I’ve been prepping for a conference I am speaking for on the 3 blocks to hearing God. I’ll be writing about these over the next week or 2 as well. You are in a pattern of defeat that you can (with God’s help) pull away from. We’ve all been there- the over-comers are the ones who emerge humbled and beautiful. Don’t give up! One of the biggest blocks to hearing God is shame. Ironic isn’t it? That the enemy of our souls is able to shackle us in chains of shame when Jesus died to set us free!

  22. J

    I recently became a mother to a foster child who suffered extreme grief, loss, and trauma and I am struggling with love and forgiveness for him due to all the ways his actions and words hurt me. I want to consistently experience God’s love in such a tangible way that it would overflow onto this child. I am at the end of myself and need a miracle to get through this.

    • diane

      Dearest J,
      I am praying for you as you experience so much of this broken child’s anger. May you sense the Father’s presence as you battle with him for the heart of a wounded child. Bless you for such generous love. Whether your time with him is short or long, I know your being there will be part of his healing.

  23. Anita

    I struggle with understanding why and how God can love me because I’ve felt unlovable my whole life. My parents are well established in the church. My father’s a pastor & my mother serves in hospitality. It’s sad to say that I’ve never experienced the love of God in my household. Instead, I was verbally and physically abused. To make things more complicated I was sexually abused as a child. It was and still is hard to think that anyone could love someone as angry and broken as me. I wish I could have God “poof” away all of the hurt and pain, but I know it doesn’t work that way. I have to work through the pain to grow and to learn what Agape love does.

    • diane

      Anita, I am so sorry for your pain and the disillusionment that must surely accompany such loss. All the more reason to pray that you will once and for all experience REAL love- the love of God for you just as you are. Of course there is brokenness but I am convinced that God looks at you and sees who you really are- beneath the pain and self-protection. He see who He made you to be and He’s not worried that it may take you a lifetime to become who you really are. That is what redemption is all about- becoming who you are.

  24. Michayla

    Diane- So glad you’re back! Your steady voice of wisdom is a light and comfort to me.
    I struggle with the idea of God’s love for me in general. I think this stems from an absentee earthly father, also with the brokenness of my past relationships. The last brush I had with “love” left me alienated and turned my once big heart into a black little stone. I don’t know how to feel emotions of love, let alone accept a perfect love from the Father. I believe that He is real, and good, and a loving father, I just don’t know how to experience Him. Maybe love doesn’t feel safe to me anymore.

    • diane

      Michayla,
      You are not alone. No wonder the Apostle Paul prayed that his friends in Ephesus would “experience the love of God”– obviously many felt just like you, knowing in fact the love God has for His people but having a hard time experiencing the reality of that love. But don’t give up dear one, just knowing you want to know that kind of love has set you on a quest. Now you will not be satisfied with the status quo– and I think God loves that!

  25. Desiree

    Diane,

    I’ve been told many times, empathically, that God loves me. That I’m precious to him. Diane, I have such a hard time believing it. I can’t see, feel, or hear him. To be frank, reading the Bible puts me to sleep. People tell me he speaks in many ways, and yes, sometimes I’ve heard him. They feel few and far between. I feel like most of the time I am wandering aimlessly, hoping that my gut instincts are in fact tugging from the Holy Spirit and not my own ideas. He feels so distant. It’s like he’s a parent who is giving me gifts but I don’t see him. God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit all feel like abstract figures. I feel terrible to admit this because he has been faithful to me. Maybe it’s my fault because I’m not spending enough quiet time. “When am I going to believe,” I hear in my head

    • diane

      Desiree, You are not alone in feeling that blockage. Be patient with yourself- you are being faithful by continuing to walk with God even when you do not feel or hear or sense His nearness. But… He IS near. He IS present. I will lift you up before the Father, asking Him to break through the silence.I will be praying that you experience His love for you specifically.

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