worried

WORRIED… for a while

(photo by Abi Porter)

repost/5.2012

This morning I woke up with tight shoulders, jaw clenched, an anxious knot in my gut…

worried.

Tossing my hair in a pony tail, I fed the dog, started the water for my tea, lit a candle, gathered my Bible and books, cuddled into my big chair and…

worried.

Stirring milk and sugar into my steaming mug, I reached for the yellow pad of paper that serves as my journal/planner/thought catcher and…

worried.

I scribbled down all angst about being too busy…

and not having time to do the important things…

and when will I ever accomplish what I want when I have to clean the basement… and the garage is a mess…

and I’m clean out of veggies…

and how in the world can I eat a plant-based diet…

when I don’t even have time to go buy the plants we’re supposed to eat?

No wonder I woke up worried.

By now you’re laughing at me… I can hear it… or maybe that’s my Father chuckling way off where I’ve been ignoring Him in the midst of my fussing.

Because all I have to worry about is not worry-worthy.

No catastrophes, no fearful awfulness invading my world.

Unlike so many women I care about, I’m not awaiting tests to determine if something terrible is wrong. The bills are paid on time. My husband still loves me despite my glaring deficiencies…

John Mark and Tammy and Jude and Moses and Sunday and Rebekah and Steve and Brook and Elizabeth and Duke and Scarlet and Matthew are all learning and growing and tucked into the Father.

And yet… I am worried.

And my Father knows all about that. With gentleness He pries my eyes from my worries to the pages of His Word.

Romans 12 is His feeding for me today:

“And so dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God.

Let them be a living and holy sacrifice— the kind He will accept.

When you think of what He has done for you, is this too much to ask? 

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world,

 but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.

Then you will know what God wants you to do,

and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is.”

Bingo!

Lights flashing! Load rolling off my uptight back!

God wants to change the way I think.

To take this roiling, messy, time wasting worry away from me and show me what to do.

Something good and pleasing and perfect in every way.

And He does. He did.

Speaking in tones so calm and firm and sure and just a little bit stern,

I hear His Voice over all my worry and I listen to His way for my day.

So simple. So right.

Why didn’t I think of that?

I smile and sip my tea and the rain outside seems soft and good, my day lined up all pleasing and perfect in every way.

His way.

From my heart,

Diane

P.S. How about you? Have you heard His words to you today? Have you listened? Can you tell us how He’s met you in the midst of your worry and shown you His way? Your story just might be His way of transforming us by changing the way we think…

Posted
April 3, 2014
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Features, Glimpses
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22 comments... (add a comment)

  1. Ann Menke

    Love this Diane. I would not call it worry but not being able to do all the things I want as I hobble around has tested me in ways I never thought to be tested. I get frustrated. And yes, start to feel sorry for myself, then realize, God is with me and has a plan for me that I am just starting to realize. I need to ask for his forgiveness and learn to cherish this time with friends and family. I am so very blessed and need to thank my Savior Jesus everyday for his blessing in my life.

    • Dearest friend-Annie,
      Have you read anything by Amy Carmichael? She was a do-er like you but then took a fall and spent the next 20 plus years propped up in bed. But what she wrote during those years of frustration speaks to my spirit every morning during my quiet time. She passed on her learning so that generations would benefit… much love to you!

  2. Oh Diane… You are speaking to my heart right now! Worry and I are far too well acquainted for my liking. But a few months ago a friend of mine posted a photo that said so simply, “Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want”. A bell went off. Actually… An entire symphony began playing in my head. And since reading that I constantly remind myself to rearrange my thoughts and let Him fill the space worry is trying to take up. (“Control your thoughts or your thoughts control you!”)

    Thank you for sharing this – and for reminding me that He always has a better way!

    • That is a brilliant quote! So often I find myself “praying” over and over again- and its really not praying at all, but fussing at my Father. And it shows a great lack of trust in His care… after all these years! Bless you!

  3. Cyndi Guidry

    I NEEDED THIS TODAY…..gripped with self-focused worry about un-worry-worthy things.

    Thank you, so very very much!

    Cyndi

  4. Julie

    This encouraged me so much! The Lord has been teaching me the same things!

    Lately, I feel like the Lord has been teaching me constantly not to worry about the future. And to live in the present, not in the future.

    I have been a student at OSU and I am transferring back to Portland for the summer and to PSU in the fall..but my lease goes through the summer and into September (or so I thought because that is when I started it last year) in the house I am renting now with my wonderful, Godly, encouraging friends God has blessed me with. But, I have been so worried lately about trying to find someone to take my spot starting in the summer because we (my parents and I) can’t afford to pay my rent over the summer. I let worry consume my thoughts and the way I lived, missing opportunities God had for me in the time being.

    But the Lord totally spoke to me today! He answered my prayers and taught me a lesson all at once! I (for some random reason- totally the Lord!) decided to look over my copy of the lease I signed to see the exact dates of when it ended. When I did, I found that the lease ends in June! Right after finals week!!! What a blessing and answer to prayer!

    I could also hear God chuckling and telling me that He had control of the situation all along. No need to worry or stress. He will provide and He’s got it.

    Live in the present, not the future. Living in the future can cause all kinds of worry and anxiety.

    • You are so right, Julie. Tuck this valuable lesson away- you’ll be benefiting from His writing of your story for a long, long time!

  5. Amy Anderson

    Diane,
    Thank you for this posting! I have been really worried myself lately and it reached a boiling point yesterday where I had a panic attack. This is something I needed reminding of. This morning as much as I could feel the worry and anxiety but put everything in Gods hands. Thank you again.
    -Amy

    • I just pondered my way through John 16 this morning… all about how Jesus looks ahead in our circumstances and knows what is actually best for us… we learn and grow, Amy. And He leads us, holds onto us, reminds us, and asks just that we listen. May He bless you with that peace that comes from full-on-absolute belief.

  6. Cory

    Diane, That used to be my life daily. I was called the “worry wort” in my family. I worried about everything AND everybody,even when I was very young. My poor parents, I was a perfectionist, picky about how & when things got done and for people to do the “right” things and stress was my middle name. Funny thing happened, well not funny haha but strange funny, I got diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and I didn’t worry. I trusted God & whatever happened was going to be alright. I knew whether I survived doing what Doctors advised & we prayed for that believe me, or if I went to be with the Lord, either way was a win win for me. My family thought I had gone bonkers. However, It has made me stop & realize I don’t need to worry about things. What a difference it made in my heart and my mind. My life is already written so I will continue loving the Lord in this life he breathed into me and change my middle name back to Lea. No more worrying for me.

    • Dear Cory, You have learned some lessons here that we all need to hear about! Please, please, please keep sharing what the Father has taught you… as you can see, a lot of us are still caught up in that whirlpool of worry. Thank-you for reminding us!

  7. S

    Ah, your posts are always such a blessing Diane! Thank you for sharing your heart – it’s so encouraging to hear of the Lord working in others lives. This habit of worry, and the weight that comes with it hits me often – most especially when I am tired. Exhaustion seems to be the time when I need to pull in and focus on the Lord and his blessings even more….and yet it’s the time when I feel least equipped. My thinking tends to run all over the place, and I experience that tense worry, and blurry “Jesus vision”. But He’s so faithful to meet us, isn’t He? So faithful.

    Just this week, I’ve been letting my focus slip – past hurts and future worries were weighing me down, finances were adding to the load, and I felt like Peter, starting to sink. As I was driven to my knees, the Lord brought things into focus – my eyes and my heart weren’t on His goals….they were on mine. They weren’t on His ability to provide, they were on mine. I’d forgotten what a great and mighty and GOOD God we serve! Through a sermon, a devotional and my bible reading, I received the chastening I needed…and the seeds of hope to realign my thinking, and my focus on Him. And now your blog post! :)

    Just today, a co-worker brought in 2 huge bags of produce to give me, which felt like the Lord reminding me.. “I can provide for you – and I DO provide for you….” It might be a small thing to some, but I felt so cared for! God is good. :) Next mission – find someone to bless in return!

    • Dear S,
      I am so glad you wrote your faith-boosting story so our faith could be reminded too! I think you already did your next mission- by blessing those of us who needed your wisdom here. I LOVE those small, seemingly insignificant reminders from God that He is loving on us!

  8. Ian

    Very well said Diane!

    To me “worry” is the desire to have control over the uncontrollable. In the last few years since I truly gave my life over to the Lord and been blessed with all my family at Solid Rock, it has been a battle every day, every minute to avoid wanting to do things in my own power. Before letting God into my life and giving my life to Him as a sacrifice, I lived a life wanting to be in control of everything. It was only learning I’m not in control did I find peace. For me when I start to worry it is the first sign that I am not giving my entire life to my Father in Heaven and depending on Him to see me through.

    • You nailed it Ian! Worry IS about me wanting to be in control and dictate every outcome. Instead, allowing God full charge of every detail and then trusting Him that He knows why… that’s a place of enormous peace.

  9. Lori Eggiman

    Thank you! I needed to hear your sweet honest words this morning.
    God Bless you in this special ministry you have here!
    Lori

    • Lori,
      I AM being blessed as I hear how God is working in the lives of others… so strange and encouraging who He seems to be speaking the same truths to so many at the same time! I love that.

  10. Nele

    Thank you so much.
    It’s feels so good, to read about other women, that have worries, too.
    Not to worry is such a big topic in my (spiritual & daily) life and often times it’ll make feel like a failure, whenever I worry to much.
    It’s so precious to relate to other woman. I’ll take those thoughts into my time with God. <3

    Greetings from Germany,

    • Dear Nele,
      Where are you in Germany? Did you know I lived there for several of my growing up years? I went to Frankfurt International School in Oberursal.
      And of course you’re not alone with this nagging burden of fretting and worry and “concern” as we so often call it. It takes a life time to learn to so believe- and trust God that we are really free of this sin- but as our history with Jesus grows deeper and longer it does get easier to snap out of it once we realize that’s what’s plaguing us. God bless, Diane

  11. “…let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.Then you will know what God wants you to do,and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is.”

    I was just sharing with a friend this morning, how each morning before my feet hit the floor I must pray that God changes the way I think. I want to think…”another morning with busy boys, asking me question after question, special requests for how their lunch is made, spilled milk, muddy feet, because they went out in the sunshine before I was even up.” I don’t talk much when I wake up. So I go to the Father asking that he change me, my thoughts, and it amazes me how I find that place, through Him to jump into a mother with the blessing of these young boys. And His “perfection” and will stream forth. Not that tired middled age mama who would like to sip coffee and say nothing.

  12. Courtney

    I am naturally a very worried person, but God has been teaching me more and more to trust in His sovereignty over my life. I have been doing well trusting Him, but just the other day, I was driving home and talking with God about something that had been worrying me to death. The next thing I know, all these “worries” from past times came up that I thought I had given back to the Lord. Thru my silly sobbing and questioning God’s presence in my life, His still and reassuring voice brought forth Psalm 46:10. At the time, I couldn’t quite recall what that verse was, so as soon as I got home, I flipped open my bible and to my amazement, this is what it said, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth”. What a joy it is know that we have a loving God who kindly corrects our thinking and continues to draw us closer to Him.

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