LETTERS TO MY SON: from drudgery to delight
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
Proverbs 31:15
Dearest Matthew,
Last week in my letter to you I let you in on the secret so many women share— the whole intimidation factor in the Proverbs 31 description of a “worthy woman”. Since I read the chapter of Proverbs corresponding to the day of the month most mornings, I get faced with her seeming perfection once a month.
Who can do all she does? And if I tried, wouldn’t I get lost in all that work? Become a mindless machine, lose my own creativity, shrivel up inside, and have a massive identity crisis while failing to be perfect?
The fact is, this is an overview of a woman’s life, not what she did every day. Kind of a portfolio of one woman’s description to her son of what an intelligent and godly woman’s achievements can look like over a lifetime and how those doings can benefit her husband and family in such a way as to enrich their lives incredibly.
But notice her first act of the day— getting up early.
It was many years ago that I learned my need for those early morning hours alone. I’d tried and failed time and time again to be disciplined enough to get up early and read my Bible. I knew it was the right thing to do, but with babies up at night and a husband whose ministry mostly happened in the evening hours, it just seemed impossible. The thought of losing precious sleep to cross Bible reading off my list just wasn’t enough to rouse me from slumber.
It wasn’t until my world began to unravel that I discovered the truth this woman in Proverbs 31 lived every day— that it wasn’t more discipline I needed, but more desire. And that when I craved hearing God’s intimate speaking to me more than I craved a little extra sleep, and when that craving actually woke me up in the morning and propelled me into His presence, He had treasures of wisdom waiting for me.
The Bible often likens the Scriptures to food. Jesus spoke of Himself as the Bread of Life, able to fill and strengthen and nourish us deep within. In the Psalms, God cried out to His people, “Open your mouth wide and I will fill it…. I would feed you with the finest of wheat; and with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.” (Psalm 81:10,16)
He longed for His people to listen to Him, to hear and obey the instructions He was waiting to give them.
The wise woman knows God hasn’t changed through all the days of history. He still longs for us to listen. He has tasks for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). Directions and impressions to lay on our hearts, wisdom and understanding to satisfy our longings.
Matt, I would wish for you a wife who is hungry enough to get up early and feast on God’s words.
A woman who listens carefully to the wisdom God gives and then goes to meet the needs of those whom God has given her to serve.
A woman who listens with a pen in hand, making a list of how the Father wants her to love that day.
A woman who sees need before anyone else does and applies the strength she’s already received from God to rise to the challenges of real life.
And son, I would wish for your someday-wife that she would have a husband who shakes off those sleepy morning cobwebs, gets out of bed, starts some coffee, opens the Scriptures, and listens. Every morning.
I don’t have a list to leave you today. What I do have is a record of my own journey towards this kind of early morning listening. Maybe it will help you to see where you are headed as long as you keep crying out for more of Jesus. And maybe my own list will help you to lovingly lead a woman as she seeks to do the same.
I started with DRUDGERY,
grew up a little into DUTY,
tried but failed for a long time at DISCIPLINE.
Then life led me to a place of DESPERATION,
and that’s when DESIRE
for more of what He poured all over me
led to absolute, unending, every morning DELIGHT.
From my heart,
Mom
P.S. For those who are reading these letters:
Are you stuck in the DISCIPLINE phase?
Mad at yourself for failing too often to manage your life in such a way that getting up early to read the Scriptures and listen to God actually happens?
Let me give you a little motherly advice: ask the Father to do whatever it takes to fill you with enough DESIRE so that you will know the DELIGHT of rising early to listen for more.
And if you’re already there- will you tell us your story? I love stories, and I especially love hearing how God moved others to want Him more.
Oh Diane….
)
How I love this blog and so resonate with you on the beauty of desire that drives a relationship with Abba and Jesus like nothing else! One of my favorite verses this past year has been Isaiah 50:4—”The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. HE wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.” This seems to line up with what you’re saying about desire. Just about a year ago I started listening to the Father in the mornings while I’m still laying in bed before my feet hit the floor. It’s been so fun to listen to Him first thing…and a lot nicer way to face the day when it’s bathed in relationship. You totally get that so I thought I’d write my story here!
Dear friend,
A couple of years ago a friend gave me that passage from Isaiah in a lovely calligraphied book mark. I love that phrase…”wakens my ear to listen”, for me, with waking up to utter silence, that word just delights me. He does! He wakens my deaf ears to hear His voice. And I so agree with you when you say its “a lot nicer way to face the day when it’s bathed in relationship”.
Much love to you!
I just have two simple examples of what I’ve done to bring more of Jesus into my life. Life is super full for me as a full time Graduate student, working half-time, and interning half-time so I had to become very creative on how I was going to get in some purposeful devotional time.
I started with blending two habits that I was not good at doing, eating breakfast and reading the bible. It has been over two years that I have started this habit and now I enjoy both. Some mornings I still don’t feel like eating breakfast, but I crave getting in at least a couple chapters of the bible in the morning.
One more creative morning habit that started over two years ago was blending a small devotional book “Jesus Lives” by Sarah Young while I blow dry my hair (upside down). It’s a short devotional and would probably best fit me right-side up, but this creative combination works really well for me.
Even though my time is really limited I feel blessed by starting my day out right, and being as intentional as I can with the time that I have.
Dear Priscilla,
I am still chuckling as I “see” you upside down, listening to all that the Father has to say to you! So great! Honestly, I can just imagine how much He loves laughing at you and at the same time loves how determined you are to know Him.
And your breakfast with your bible idea is excellent. Since breakfast is my favorite meal of the day, that’s an easy one for me. Thanks for giving me a good deal of delight today!
Oh, Diane, this post greatly resounds with me! Now having two kiddos ages 2 and under, my need for the LORD to fill me up with Him every morning has become a desperation. I have known the LORD for many years, having flailed back and forth about having a consistent quiet time in the mornings, but the past two years since having kids has deepened my faith and desire for Him in a whole new way. As exhausting (but wonderful) as these days are, where I am loving on my husband who is also in ministry, and training and loving on my kids, I find myself jumping out of bed every morning in expectation to meet with the LORD. And I feel that He honors my effort to be alone with Him – somehow He will give me rest in my day, or give me energy, even though I’ve been up with my 4-month old twice to nurse him during the night. I also brew my coffee, eat breakfast, and read His Word. I long to commune with Him, to acquire His wisdom, and be filled with His Spirit. Because I don’t want to live a day trying to do what He’s called me to do without His help. Thank you, Diane, for continuing to pour out your heart on this blog. It continues to be a blessing to me, and many others.
Dear Michelle,
You are at, BY FAR the most difficult time in your life to listen in quiet. And yet, these years of storing up wisdom will come back as a rich and full bank account when your children hit the teenage years and you need every speck of insight and right thinking in order to guide wisely. Sometimes all you’ll get is a short time- but I’m convinced He packs that time with more awareness of Himself because He knows what your day holds.
God bless, and relish that little one! Diane
Hi Diane after reading this last night I was sweetly nudged by the Spirit asking me if I was ready to have more? I asked Father to help me because I have become so lazy. I told Him I really need YOU to wake me up because I have gotten in such a laid back position of just sleeping in and I really really NEED YOU to help me. I grabbed one of my campfire fabric fold up chairs and put it on my patio so i could utilize this space for God and was excited to have morning breakfast with Him. So get this when I woke up to my alarm my flesh was weak just as I expected but Father God came through!!
How?
Well every night I fall asleep to one of my worship stations on my pandora and well after I had closed my eyes turning off my alarm to sleep again and the Spirit used a song to wake me up! Literally it was Him. The song is called “fall afresh” by Jeremy Riddle. Lyrics that woke me “spirit of the living God come fall fresh on me, come wake me from my sleep”!!!! You can say that though I have a pinched nerve and felt I needed that sleep God kept His word to me and I woke right up!!! And I just got done reading about David and Goliath and gleaned deeper treasures than I ever have!! Thank you for gently calling us women and men out to be more like Christ!!! I love you captivating sister!
Dear sweet Kalie,
I love this! I hope you’ll share this story over and over. God is so real, so aware of even those half-hearted whispers. Hearing your story of His goodness just makes me love Him even more. Thank-you
I have a question: I don’t get up early to read my Bible but I do it every day. My time with Jesus is mid-day, after lunch. I’ve tried early morning and find that to not be a productive time for me. Thoughts?
Jodi,
Though I love the early hours because my mind is free of clutter and I’ve not yet had much of a chance to do damage (!), the best thing is what works for you. Realistically, getting kids out of bed and fed and ready for the day doesn’t allow for much morning time. My children are all gone and my mornings are all my own. And it never works to burn the candle at both ends- staying up in order to get some time with your husband uninterrupted by children, and then forcing yourself to get up early, is a recipe for nothing but exhaustion.
I’m so glad you pointed this out, Jodi.
Thank you Diane. Thank you for your words, wisdom, love, insight, and passion. For your willingness to serve and give of yourself to those like myself who are in desperate need of every ounce of knowledge, every story of growth, and every word of encouragement. I cannot begin to describe the graditude that fills my heart as I pour over every new post. During a time when I am so lacking womenly advice and counsel, God has so greatly used you in my life.
I am so eager to grow from a twenty one year old girl into a helpful wife, nurturing mother, and faithful servant. Your words have meant so much to and for me.