PRESCRIPTION
Dr. Di’s Prescription For Tension Heart Head Aches
Lead me in the right path, O LORD,
Or my enemies will conquer me.
Tell me clearly what to do,
And show me which way to turn.
Psalm 5:8
I got there again this week:
… stressed out of my mind,
… anxious,
… uptight,
… overreacting,
… teary,
… needing to tackle piles looming like Mt. Everest,
… wanting to curl up and hide.
What is my problem? Why can’t I get this right? Will I ever learn?
Coming off the high of a staff retreat with Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs, I crashed just as soon as I walked in the door and stared at the pile on my desk. Just where I left it.
All week my soul responded to Sarah’s words… rest, soul-space, pace yourself.
And all week I wondered how.
Am I really too busy? Or am I simply thinking wrongly about how God views me and how I should see myself?
Should I work harder, stay up later, stuff the angst deeper, blame somebody?
Of course not. But that’s exactly the way I’ve been doing.
And so today I just asked God for wisdom. Again.
And He gave it. Again.
Here’s what I heard, dear friends of mine. And I have a suspicion that this is not just for me, so I swept the piles aside and wrote it down just in case you need it too.
1. Do beauty
A woman’s soul craves beauty. And my soul was shriveling up, feeling dry and… ugly. So I went out and cut some flowers. Peonies, roses, Jacob’s Ladder, trailing ivy, a sprig of boxwood. Beauty. For me.
2. Stop being so mean to yourself
I am my own worst enemy. I critique and criticize and berate myself endlessly. No wonder I fall apart if anyone so much as suggests I didn’t get it right! I know this… now I must discipline my thoughts and stop scolding myself. Geez.
3. Have fun
Here’s my version of fun- curl up with a steaming pot of Marco Polo tea. Tuck a furry blanket around myself. Read something delicious… poetry, or Ann Voskamp or Wangerin or something that just makes me delight in God. Or a story.
If that sounds boring to you, do what you love. Shop, play, dip your toes in water, go to an art museum.
4. Delve deep
Shake out that other side of my brain that loves to learn and dig just for the fun of it. Get lost in something interesting.
5. Be quiet
Stop talking- to your girlfriend, to your mom, even to yourself. Shh!! Just listen. When I’m stressed I can’t hear His voice because I’m fussing so loud.
6. Get real
Stop pretending that you’re fine. Be honest. Be transparent. Allow someone into your secret unhappiness. She’s probably been there before and might just whisk you off to an afternoon of rest that you’d never do alone.
7. Go running
I am just amazed at how energizing to my brain a good short run is. And when I say run, I really mean jog. Get out in the fresh air and feel the stress slide off your shoulders. Everything just seems to fall into place- keep running until it does.
8. En-courage
Give someone else a taste of hope. A word or a hug or an “I believe in you, you’re terrific” sort of email. Really, this one is like medicine to my soul. Maybe because its not all about me?!
9. Make friends with a lefty
Today I am having coffee with one of the most organized, efficient, left brained women I know. She posted on her blog not long ago about her system of keeping all the balls rolling. I couldn’t understand a word she said but I caught a glimpse of something that sounded hopeful. If she can lasso all my right-brained messy creative thoughts into a coherent can-do accomplishment- well, here’s to hope.
10. Get up early
Think these tasks through while I’m fresh and no one is calling or texting or Face booking or emailing or commenting or saying, “Hey mom, would you…”
11. Smile
A grin on my face means I’m giving thanks. So simple. So right and godly and good. MUCH better than all these crazy ways we self-medicate!
12. Touch
Hug, caress, hold, embrace, cuddle, rock. Be a woman with all the passion and affection that brings us alive. If I’m stiff and cold it’s because I’ve died. And I don’t want to be dead.
I look back at my words and am a little embarrassed. Shouldn’t I throw something incredibly profound in here? I mean really— smile? Pick peonies?
And what about my piles?
You know, they just don’t look so awfully high now. In fact after my tea and a few pages of a good book I think I might just go for it.
From my much more rested heart,
Diane
So my friends- how about you?
How are you managing all the things you’re supposed to be doing right now?
Have you figured out ways to simplify your life? Will you share those ideas with us?
I could use some really clear left-brained-organized ideas… as well as some reminders of what’s important and what just isn’t.
Wow, thank you so much. I TOTALLY needed this today. I’ve been lying awake this morning before going to work, worrying, overthinking, nourishing negative thoughts about what might await me at my workplace. It’s been a rough couple of months there and I feel like I have been doing everybody else’s work and nobody even seemed to care, plus it’s not easy with my colleagues at the moment (even as I’m typing this I’m feeling so selfish). Also I’ve been handling the situation awfully, talked way too much about it and complained to many people, instead of keeping my mouth shut and praying. Anyways, as I read how you felt when you saw your desk, I could totally relate and I think this was for me today.
Thanks again and God bless!
(all the way from Germany) – Helena
This is perfectly said. Thank you Di for being real and honest and sharing your beautiful heart.
Dear Diane!
I love your heart and honesty! I too have those piles and am a ‘lefty’— so, it is a bit out-of-control currently at my house. My remedy this week is to list all the things to be done, all the things I think I want to be done and then, my stretch goals that make me feel like “I have won”! Then I tackle them bit by bit, making sure I get to something that will make my day feel positive. It may be merely one phone call or email, but that goal for me is huge.
For the myriad of errands I have run in the past few days, I was able meet my goal to mix them with a slower pace and time to smile at someone, to let someone go ahead of me AND then the practical: my outing with my mom combined my desire for her to get exercise with a trip to Costco.
Those are my favorites: the 2 for 1 returns! I had her push the cart, albeit slowly, snaking through Costco and getting my list completed and talking to her in the process. She never knew we walked for about 1/2 hour!
Today is my home day… I have blocked out the day (until tonight’s First Thursday with my husband and daughter). I will clean the house well, sort out the piles and perhaps read that one book/magazine. My stretch goal today: to re-write my notes from the retreat to share with others. If the latter does not happen, I can add it to another day (after all, it has been on my ‘list’ everyday since my return)— but if it does, voile– another deep smile of satisfaction when a goal is met.
Re. Simplifying my life– I am just getting rid of things I do not love, like or use. Less is more and by more, I have come to realize peace, joy, time, space and freedom.
Thank you for sharing your soul.
Love, Beth
Now there is a prescription for real truthful living. This is a great capture of words and wisdom. Love this advice. It is “SPOT ON”. I also specially enjoyed the plug for the “organized lefties” in this world which by the way, has been configured for right handedness… especially sports and tools.
signed,
An organized left hander struggling with right handed tools.
Oh how I needed this! Thank-you for such wise and much needed wisdom!
And thank-you for beautifully encouraging me Sunday in ways I didn’t know I needed to be encouraged. God really does delight in his daughters.
Much love,
Alina
Thank you Diane!
This feels like permission for me to be ME…something I rarely give myself. I was in a car accident a couple of days ago and yet here I am, still scolding myself for the things that aren’t getting done- like the dishes!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom
PS I have a wonderful energetic, organized friend (Jodi Stilp) who inspires me and for whom I am VERY thankful!
Diane,
Thank you so much for your simple yet profound reminder! I strongly agree with the importance of “stop being mean to yourself” and remember that fact that Christ died for me. Rather than allowing thoughts to rage deep within me, take a moment and contemplate how crazy awesome it is that my Savior has accepted, redeemed and cleansed me. Amazing grace how sweet the sound…
I too have fun the joy and liberation of running {mild jogging} as you mentioned, it re-energizes, clears the heart and mild and point you into the right direction (heaven-ward).
Thank you once again.
Thank you Diane for all your encouraging words. I am on vacation this week and had many, many lists of chores, etc that I was wanting to get done – as well as a middle school graduation this morning. I am almost at the end of the week and feel that I have accomplished nothing, but at the same time feeling more relaxed than I have felt in a looooong time! The big thing for me this week has been allowing myself to interrupt my plans and not stress about what I “should” be doing. This has been especially as I have been interrupted by my kids wanting to play games, or just chat, or watch TV together. On the other hand, I guess I have accomplished a lot this week, just not what I thought I needed to accomplish. Thanks again for being you.
I totally needed to hear this today! I’ve been trying to pack too much in my day! Thank you for the reminder to “stop & smell the roses!”
Thank you for your insight, Diane.
I was obsessed with cleanliness and neatness when I was a teenager and still living with my parents ( back then in a tropical country where average temperature is 82 F, above 80 percent humidity, and dust everywhere ). I would clean my room for hours and that included mopping the tiled floor everyday. I cleaned and cleaned until I got exhausted, and I would get upset when my siblings entered my room and hung out. Adding to it was my drive to be number 1 in class so I would stay up late studying – resulting in only a few hours of sleep ( class started at 6:45 AM, yes…I am not kidding ). I had no life, basically.
Fast forward…I am now married and have 4 children. Many years ago when they were still little, our house was not, by all means, spic and span; walls were full of drawings, carpets with juice stains, and even the sofa pillows could not hide their pen/pencil markings. Hiring cleaning lady was not in our budget so we taught our kids early on to clean their own rooms and make their own beds; they did their best, and that was good enough. I learned how to let children be children. Had the bar been set too high they would not have enjoyed their childhood. I found that some flaws are necessary for us to enjoy life. Last year, finally, we painted the walls, replaced the carpeting with wood floor, and bought a new sofa; this time we are sure that the children will not jump and write on it. There are a lot of work to do around the house and oh…the garden is always in need of our TLC, too. I, many times, are overwhelmed by the house chores, and get distracted because my mind wanders to different places at the same time ( kitchen, laundry, groceries, cooking, house cleaning, errands, and…yes, that fur on the floor – our 2 shelties shed everyday, but we love them to pieces and will not trade Bailey n Dexter for anything. No, my house does not need to be in order…I’d step outside – taking in the sound of bird chirping and wind breeze…get my hands dirty and start gardening. My garden is my serene haven; a little glimpse of God’s beautiful creation. It is what I look forward to waking up to each morning – my soul at rest.
Blessings,
Adeline
Thank you- all of you for your encouraging comments. Such wisdom spilling out from your embracing of our calling as women! This is a discussion we MUST keep up- we need to be learning from each other so that we can all grow in our understanding of what respect looks like in everyday life.
Much love to you all,
Diane
Yes Diane let us PLEASE keep this conversation going. We live in a very busy world, all of us at some time feeling alone and inadequate. I am a stay at home mom, busy all the time with 2 little ones looking ahead wondering if there is life beyond somebody needing me EVERY moment, waking and sleeping. Sometimes in my “free” time, therefore very rarely, I take some time and read through some of my favorite blogs of super moms and super women, and walk away feeling very sad and inadequate that I can’t keep their pace. Although I know they mean well in sharing all their wonderful tips of being the best wife and mom, they often forget to include their everyday struggle of spurring themselves on to do it all over again every day…if you know what I mean. So thank you for your heartfelt acknowledgement of the struggle we all have in this life, in our flesh to keep going and how to enjoy these small things that will help us stay focused on the Lord and all He has blessed us with. Thank you for being real. Thank you that I can come to your website and receive encouragement for my weary soul and that you point me to Jesus, not to my own self to do more, be more, say more, etc…. I am not enough, I will never be, no matter how much I try. So I empty myself before the Lord acknowledging my utter lack of anything (including energy), and allow Him to sustain me. The Lord bless and keep you my sweet sister in Christ ~S
Diane,
Thank you so much for your blog posts. My husband and I left Solid Rock and Portland a month ago to pursue my husbands dream job in Little Rock, Ar. Through the waiting for our stuff to arrive which took weeks your blog has been something that has helped me with my attitude and my stress level. You truly are an example of a Godly wife. Thank you for this post in particular. In the midst of unpacking I haven’t taken a lot of rest or relax time and I need to. Thank you so much for your transparency and a way to stay connected to Solid Rock. God Bless. Courtney
From a 60 year old grandma with4 grandkids. 8)
Remove the “not very important stuff in the big picture” from your stacks and your life. Be sure you are not doing things just so you can check them off and move to the next item on the list. Ask who would be affected if I didn’t do this. Practice the mental picture of handing worries and troubles over to God–then leave them with Him–don’t take them back!
I wanted to submit this to di but couldn’t figure out how! Luv mom