SINGING IN THE RAIN
Early this morning I woke up to all that delightful snow melted away.
Rain.
Again.
And my soul felt as heavy as the skies outside, dripping with too much dreariness. I wasn’t depressed, not even sad. Just not happy.
And since it’s normal for me to wake up happy and full of energy and zest for the day I was kind of concerned.
What’s wrong with me?
The Lord had been speaking to me recently about how serious I am all the time. After over a year of mind-boggling drama in my extended family, I’ve lost some of that hope-filled part of me that keeps me seeing every glass filled more than half full.
And so this morning I asked God how. How do I lighten up?
Ignoring the problems that persist doesn’t work; every phone call and visit brings it all back.
And I’m not really much inclined to what most people consider fun. I’m a pretty boring kind of person. I racked my brain for something fun I could do to help me lighten up a little, but couldn’t come up with anything.
Well, at least anything that wouldn’t cost money…
My idea of fun can’t be done in an afternoon. I love to hike high in the Sierras, lounge by a lake, take off on a road trip with Phil in his mini— top down of course!
Not much chance of any of those things today.
So what God whispered to my listening this morning surprised me:
Sing.
Sing? Really? Me?
But I’m deaf. I sound terrible. Toneless.
You want me to sing?
Mmh-hmm.
Well I waited until my son, Matt, left the house to get us both a treat of really good coffee from Peets. Even lightened up enough to order myself a cappuccino. Nonfat of course.
As soon as he left I started to sing. As quietly as I could and still call it singing, I tried.
It’s hard for me to remember songs since I really don’t hear them very well, but one old hymn kept coming to my mind and so I sang it over and over again.
Great is Thy faithfulness
New every morning…
Dah dee dee dah, dah dah dum dee dee dee….
Great is Thy faithfulness Lord unto me.
Strength for today
And bright hope for tomorrow
Thine own great Presence
To cheer and to guide…
My breath caught.
I’d forgotten… again. He is my strength for today. He is my bright hope for tomorrow.
Not my solutions to what everyone ought to do to straighten out the mess they’ve made.
Not the elusive dream of having every cupboard clean and organized, a pristine garage, and all my photos neatly ordered on discs.
It’s Him!
His Presence.
He is the One who cheers me despite real life stuff going on all around me.
He is my guide.
I am not a victim of other’s choices.
I’m following Jesus.
By now I was singing louder. At least I think I was. Without my cochlear devices on, I can’t hear a thing… including me. (and that, dear friends, can be a good thing at times!)
There I was, folding laundry, belting out His faithfulness and believing every word.
I felt as light as those doves that feed every morning on our back deck.
Dancing a little now, I sashayed out into the hallway… and ran smack into Matthew.
Opps.
If you’ve ever sat next to me in church you’ll know that when I “sing” during worship I keep my voice very, very soft. Oh yes, I’ve seen those stares. I have a good idea of exactly how a deaf girl singing must sound.
But Matthew swooped me into his arms and said, “Mom, that’s beautiful! I’ve been out here listening. So beautiful, it’s made me cry.”
And sure enough, tears had gathered in my almost twenty-year-old son’s eyes.
And of course, tears started spilling from mine. Happy tears of pain conquered and hope tinkling bells of sweet sounds that I hear.
I can sing. I will sing. Loud and free and with a little dancing thrown in! Because It’s not about me…
Great is His faithfulness… new every morning… Lord, unto me.
Will you sing with me… no matter how you sound?
From a heart that’s feeling lighter with every note,
Diane
Thank you Diane, I needed this on this drippy morning:) xoxoxo
This is the time of year when ex-Californians think up ways to flee Oregon! Yet it is still so beautiful.
Diane,
Wow, every word has described my life and not to long ago my Papa spoke to me and said, “You must sing praise to me. You do not praise me in times such as this.” It takes such effort now when I used to live in the experience of His nearness. Yet I will Praise Him. Thank you for the reminder.
Isn’t that exactly what the “sacrifice of praise”is all about? Choosing to sing and worship and adore Him no matter how we feel. So very wonderful to hear He’s speaking the same words to you.
“Oh let us rejoice in the Lord evermore
when the darts of the tempter are flying;
for Satan still dreads, oft did before
our singing much more than our crying.”
oops…here’s the right version…
“Oh let us rejoice in the Lord evermore
when the darts of the tempter are flying;
for Satam still dreads, as He oft did before
our singing much more than our crying.”
Lovely! Beautiful words that frame this idea. I can just see those tempter’s darts flying and Satan fleeing when we begin to sing.
Thank you so much for this. We are new to Solid Rock and I simply can’t seem to get enough! We will be singing with you…
A great choir of worshipers… that’s what we’ll be one day… Someday. And welcome to Solid Rock. I still can’t get enough of these people either! Phil and I pinch ourselves all the time that we get to be here, a part of what God is doing so powerfully.
Now I am crying. Thank you for sharing Diane.
I grew up Catholic and I remember one of the nuns who was Irish used to say in a very thick accent “If the Lord gave you a lousy voice just give it right back to Him!”
great and now I’m crying… First dancing in Haiti and now singing in the rain. What’s next?
That is delightful Denise! Well He’s been hearing a lot of it for the past couple of days
Should we be worried?!
I am delighted and slightly shocked to see your experience of this joyful hope was like “tinkling bells”, because my experience of a similar hope was exactly like that . . It was early on in my redemption and my life, mind and heart were ravaged. I felt consumed and like my life was on fire. One night there was a temporary break, like a cease-fire, and as I stepped outside all these moments happened at once: I breathed in a crisp, clear lungful of fall air, felt the breeze wash over my face, looked up and saw one bright twinkling star and heard a clear, joyful laugh followed by the tinkling bell on the door I was opening. It was like a moment of heaven dropped down into my life. I didn’t even know that was what heaven was like, but I was so sure that had to be what it was. Like joyful hope. Is that what this morning was for you?
I know what a deaf person singing sounds like, and it’s truly the most beautiful things. So beautiful.
Loved this, Diane! Doesn’t it feel so good to just sing unto Him? He doesn’t care what we sound like – it’s all about the condition of the heart and like you said, believing the words. There’s so much joy when we sing (and dance) unto Him, even if it sounds embarrassing
Good job belting it out, sista
As I read that post, it’s started to rain here too. Thank you X
A couple hours ago I came home from a busy week at work and just settled down in my easy chair with the new kindle fire the kids got me for Christmas. I just finished reading all the beautiful reflections from my sisters in Christ. Diane thank you so much for sharing about your singing in the rain-it blessed my heart. I marvel at how our Lord uses such simple everyday things to teach us and draw us closer to Him. Now I’m starting my weekend with a Jesus song in my heart and a waltz in my step! I’m so glad its cold and rainy outside, my windows are closed so I can belt it out loud!!!
Hi Diane,
Thanks for your post. I too have a hard time remembering songs. I often find myself wishing that I could sing praises and prayers at home. Music plays a powerful role in helping my heart respond. Today, I just discovered that when playing music on pandora, the lyrics are also posted with the songs that are being played. You might have already known that, but I just thought I might share that as it was an exciting discovery for me.
I’m going to have a look at that, Chris. Thanks for the heads up!
Diane, it’s so infectious to read your heart journey in praising the Lord! and this particular story reminded me of a time when I experienced another situation like this, that led my own sometimes-timid heart into joyful worship. may I share?
On this particular evening, I sat near the back of the room, in one of the last few rows at the Friday night college service. As the time for singing worship came, I gave myself to singing with all I had… or so I thought. You see, I love singing. And I had good opportunity to do so in my younger years- having sung in the school choir from elementary through high school. So, naturally, I also was well aware that I had some skill. I was sure that my singing with the best of my abilities during this time of worship would bless the Father as He listened. But suddenly, as I was really getting into the music, I heard this sound i didn’t like… my voice – it was suddenly NOT in key! “Ew!!!” I thought, as I hushed down a bit, so that no one else might notice my embarrassing notes. I wondered if i had some water built up in my ears, or was getting a snuffly nose, which can throw me off pitch. But as I was standing there, now, not giving praise to the Lord, but instead, completely absorbed in my own little prideful world… then, I heard her. A young lady in front of me- she was singing off-key. She was the culprit! and her off-pitch praising was messing me up! Here she was, singing very loudly, very out of tune, and VERY unashamedly. Her hands were raised high, and she swayed, dancing, stepping back and forth, twisting to and fro – off beat from the music- in the dark room. “Well, that’s nice” i thought, “but i wish she’d just sing a little quieter so I could stay on pitch.”
Then I felt it- a heart check from the Spirit- like God was smiling at this dancing girl. and i couldn’t help but feel His consequent point- that He was maybe, just maybe, not quite as pleased with the worship i was offering. And I watched her for a moment, and suddenly could see why. She was giving everything she had to Him. It was uninhibited…pure… it was beautiful! As my eyes became hot and a lump formed in my throat, threatening to burst out in weeping, I marveled at this: a heart surrendered in worship. And I faced my own cowardess. It makes me think of the scripture that says “these people praise me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” Though I may have been able to produce “pretty’ music, this girl knew something I didn’t about praise. And I was humbled by the turning upside down of logic that happens as we are allowed, even briefly, to see things from the Lord’s perspective. Well, I worshiped Him by delighting with Him in this Joyful Sister, since i couldn’t squeak out a note at this point, had I tried. After the set, I shared with her how it had blessed my heart to see her worshiping the Lord so freely (omitting that I noticed her out-of-tune-ness.) and she smiled, saying “yeah, some of us just make a joyful noise to the Lord.” i smiled. and we laughed together. and I think we both went away blessed!
I pray that we ALL, dear Sister, will here on out, have the boldness to worship so unashamedly.
Again! Again, reading this at work and I start to tear up (which, when you work at a winery and are surrounded by a good handful of people must be quite the sight – “Hi happy tourists! Don’t mind me!”) This was wonderful Diane. It’s so funny how we forget that we have such a wonderful and faithful Father to brighten our day – and how special it is when we allow Him to remind us!
I’m going to sing all the way home from work tonight
I really appreciated this ; so timely for me. Was discouraged because of the gossip where I work and found out that I am getting called into work after Sunday service when I registered for the class at 2PM at church. I thank you for these words.